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If Your Blank Could Talk, What Would It Say?
"Always lots of fing eggs, never enough of us to go around."If your MIRROR could talk, what would it say?
"Yeah, that's another gray hair,"If your STAPLER could talk, what would it say?
** Not I....punkin! :)
"Don't let that kid use me again. Please! It hurts so much."If your Facebook account could talk, what would it say?
*Lee, I from Jamaica, mon. Gimme break.*
Thanks for only befriending people you actually know, oh and your a real smart ass...If you PAYCHECK could talk, what would it say.
"Perhaps if you got your lazy ass back to the master's program I could get fatter."If your WEDDING RING/BAND could talk, what would it say?
"Gone in 60 seconds"If your HIGH SCHOOL LOCKER could talk, what would it say?
**Hmmm......you said you've lived in the south all your life.....didn't think it was that far south!
"Remember when you forgot my combination through the Christmas holidays? Why'd I get such a loser to rent me out for the school year?"If your GAS PEDAL could talk, what would it say?
*Lee, Jamaica is sout', mon. I no lie to you. I from da sout'.
Stop walking and biking everywhere all year round, I miss our time together.if your KIDNEYS could talk, what would they say?
"Do you know what your teenage son does to me?"If your FAVORITE T-SHIRT could talk, what would it say?
** Is there a Jamica, AL?...
"How many more holes am I going to have to endure before you toss me in the bin?"If the MOON could talk, what would it say?
*Der is. Grab a map, mon.
" Tell Mr.Armstrong, he left his 6-iron up here."If the SUN could talk, what would it say?
* Yo mon, you be smokin wacky-weed. I found Jamaica, NY...
"Bitch, git your lilly-white ass out here and catch some of my rays."If a GAME BOY could talk, what would it say?
*Jamaica, AL, is not on da map. We don' like outsiders.
"Why haven't you ever tried me?"If an OUTHOUSE could talk, what would it say?
*LOL...Ah, a small dot in the universe,hey?
"Ah, I'm sitting out here in the middle of nature, listening to the birds, feeling the sunshine on my wood, oh, someone just opened my door. Was that a zipper? What's augh! garble! garble!"If a JUST CAUGHT FISH could talk, what would it say?
*Small dot, but we EXIST!
"You know damn well, that I'm not____________this big!"If a NEW COLLEGE GRAD could talk, what would they say?
* In your southern dreams....way! :)
"I had it way too easy in high school! Why didn't anyone ever tell me I needed to develop good study habits?"If your NOSE HAIRS could talk, what would they say?
*I dream small, dontcha know?
"The older you get, the longer I get."If your PLASTIC SURGEON could talk, what would he say?
*LOL
"Ma'am, there aren't enough hours in my day to help you."If a PERSON IN A COMA could talk, what would (s)he say?
" I wonder if they can hear me?"If a PENGUIN could talk, what would he say?
"I look marhvelous in this little tuxedo God made for me."If your INDEX FINGER could talk, what would it say?
"Stop sticking me up there, it's gross!!"If your POT HOLDERS could talk, what would they say?
Or OVEN MITTS if you prefer
"You know, you don't have to keep us crusted, raggedy things for years. We give you permission to purchase new ones."(I haven't heard "pot holders" in sooo long. But I like it.)
If your TONGUE could talk, what would it say?
wriggle, wriggle - that's a warm place. MMmmmmm
If your HAIRS could talk, what would they say?
If your HAIRS could talk, what would they say?
OMG, lol."Color us quick! The grays are taking over."
If your ATM CARD could talk, what would it say.
stop using me, you ass. I'm melting here!
I hate those grey's, I'm sure they breed at night.
If your Neighbour could talk, what would it say?
I hate those grey's, I'm sure they breed at night.
If your Neighbour could talk, what would it say?
"We got tired of listening to your dogs bark and got three of our own, all bigger than yours. Ha Ha."If an airplane could talk, what would it say?
"I'm only as good as the drunk or junkie pilot flying me."If your CONSCIENCE could talk, what would it say?
I feel like a tin can full of farts!
If your POT (no not that kind)PLANT could talk, what would it say?
If your POT (no not that kind)PLANT could talk, what would it say?
"I make pretty flowers, yet you walk right past me without giving water. I'm dying here!"If a CHICKEN MCNUGGET could talk, what would it say?
"McCluck, McCluck?"If a Kleenex could talk, what would it say?
"When your through with me I go in the trash, not the floor!"If your COOKIE JAR could talk, what would it say?
"I know you inherited me from your grandmother and I am sort of valuable, but I'm lonely up on this china cabinet. Fill me with some cookies!"If BILL GATES' MANSION could talk, what would it say?
"Oh come on man, lets fing party sometimes!"If your CROCK POT could talk, what would it say?
"Sigh. You know, I'd love to cook something other than beans and soup for you. How about a nice roast?"If a SPIDER WEB could talk, what would it say?
"Hey bitch didn't you see me? Do you think this is easy work, pay attention next time!"If your FAVORITE PICTURE could talk, what would it say?
"Mommy, I love you."If VAN GOGH could talk, what would he say?
"What was I thinking, cutting off part of my ear, and then giving it to some whore?"If the SIXEENTH CHAPEL could talk, what would it say?
MY bad I would fix it but WTH right. I wasn't smoking or thinking . But you got the point.
Lori, what have you been smoking? Do you mean the Sistine Chapel?If so...
"Can you believe one man did all this?"
If a HOOKER'S KNEES could talk, what would they say?
"Geez lady, invest in some effin knee pads for God's sake!"If a Roll of Duct Tape could talk, what would it say?
"It's dark in this trunk next to the cable ties. At least on the store shelves we got to see some people. And live people at that!"If a BOOKMARK could talk, what would it say?
"Bragging to the other possesions of the reader, I'm his favorite!"If Mt. Rushmore could talk, what would it say?
"For the record, it hurt like hell to be sandblasted and chiseled into faces."If a bowl of PATE could talk, what would it say?
" OMG do you believe how much people pay for me! And I taste like puppy shit! The laugh is on them!"If a FLY could talk, what would it say?
"Hey, redneck. Put down the flyswatter. Don't you know I won't live long anyway?"If your FAVORITE BOOK could talk, what would it say?
"WE ALL FLOAT DOWN HERE!"If your DVD player could talk, what would it say?
wash your hand before you take that disk out!!If your CAR could talk, what would it say?
"How come I just sit here gathering dust? Are you not lazy enough to watch a movie on me? Open up those Netflix envelopes that have been sitting on me for a month and put me to use!"If OPRAH'S EGO could talk, what would the bloated thing say?
If your CAR could talk, what would it say?"I like listening to your audiobooks. It makes me run smoother."
If OPRAH'S EGO could talk, what would the bloated thing say?
" I have more money then God, more power then the president, more pull then Bill Gates, so why the hell can't I stay skinny ? For the love of Gail!"If you FLOWER GARDEN could talk,what would it say?
If a SPERM could talk, what would it say?
*It's not spelled pumking? I'm not from America. Are you making fun of the way I write English?