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If Your Blank Could Talk, What Would It Say?
"unless your going for that porn look, please wash us"If your STEREO could talk, what would it say?
"Please, no more Mariah Carey. Give her a break!"If your WALLS could talk, What would they say?
"Why'd your husband punch a hole in us!"If your TRUNK could talk, what would it say?
"Whats up with the dead body?"If the STARS above could talk, what would they say?
"You won't believe what's beyond us."If THE HINDENBURG could have talked, what would it say?
"I told you a smoking section was stupid.... but NOOOOO"If the TITANIC could talk, what would it say?
"Why are you panicking? Remember, I'm unsinkable!"If MT. EVEREST coudl talk, what would it say?
"Any necrophiliacs want visit? Bring beer, we'll crack open a cold one!"If JELLYFISH could talk what would they say?
"I feel like stinging someone and ruining his vacation."If a PAINT-BY-NUMBERS PICTURE could talk, what would it say?
Jerrod, you never cease to shock me!
Jerrod wrote: ""Any necrophiliacs want visit? Bring beer, we'll crack open a cold one!"HA!
"As long as you know this isn't considered painting, we're cool"If a CRAYON could talk, what would it say?
Figured there are plenty of dead mountaineers up their... best I could do on short notice.
"I am not really Light Avocado, I am just GREEN dammit."If a CHERRY could talk, what would it say?
"I taste better fresh when I'm not dyed red and in that syrupy juice."If a HOT WHEEL car could talk, what would it say?
There are LOTS of dead mountaineers up there...who don't want to be violated.
"What is wrong with this kid? I'm to be rolled not put in his mouth, gross!"If the SEAT in an AIRPLANE could talk, what would it say?
"I hope you don't think your ass will actually float if you cradle me"If a VENTILATOR could talk, what would it say?
"Breath, dammit! Breathe!"If a PENGUIN could talk, what would it say?
"I'm so sick of this f**king march."If a BEAR could talk, what would it say?
"Wait, you want me to sh*t where?"If an AIR PURIFIER could talk, what would it say?
Cough...Sputter....Change the damn filter, would ya!If a BASEBALL could talk, what would it say?
"Don't let Obama anywhere near me!"If a FRENCH FRY could talk, what would it say?
"How do you like my sheen from the oil bath I just took."If a GUITAR could talk, what would it say?
"Give me a moment, I must gently weep."If a BULLET could talk, what would it say?
"I'm about to make an acquaintance with your guts."If a TUBE OF LIPSTICK could talk, what would it say?
"you do know I contain roadkill right?"If a VIBRATOR could talk, what would it say?
"God said even vibrators should rest on the seventh day."If your ORGASM could talk, what would it say?
Tressa wrote: ""God said even vibrators should rest on the seventh day.""
LOL
I think Jerrod might be the only one brave enough to touch the orgasm question. He's pretty raunchy.
"Good thing this isn't an endurance race"If your BELLY BUTTON could talk, what would it say.
"Like lint traps in a dryer, we also should be cleaned out every so often."If a MOSQUITO could talk, what would it say?
*Can't keep up with the old wifey, huh Jerrod?*
"can you take it easy on the alcohol?"if your PLANTS could talk, what would they say?
"Don't let your wife touch me, she kills"If your LAWN could talk, what would it say!
Nope, besides your assuming that mine is before hers, which is never the case.
"good luck with all the hidden toys"if your Y membership could talk, what would it say?
"Why haven't you renewed me in 18 years?"If your SCRAPBOOK could talk, what would it say?
"I'm thankful you made me digital"If your FISH could talk, what would they say?
" contrary to popular believe algae isn't that good for you"if your Netflix queue could talk , what would it say?
"We're getting crowded in here. When are you going to send back that DVD you've had since Christmas?"If a DEER IN HUNTING SEASON could talk, what would the poor, sweet thing say?
"I just got laid, go ahead and kill me, I taste good."If your VEGETABLES could talk, what would they say?
since they are living things too :P
"Dang it, the wind changed, I see the rifle....and I'm dead meat!"If your COFFEE MUG could talk, what would it say?
"the poor, sweet thing say? " Come on Tressa, you live in Alabama!!!
vegetables:"Free me from this earthen prison, wash me, and dress me with butter and salt. Nothing makes me happier than to be eaten by you."
coffee mug:
"What's with all the decaf? You mean you like to sleep at night?"
Jerrod, veggies don't have big, brown, sad eyes and a soul.
Lee, I'm a city girl living in Alabama.
If a VULTURE could talk, what would it say?
"The real reason I keep going in circles is my left wing is shorter than my right."If a Dung Beetle could talk, what would it say?
"I love being natures garbage disposal"If a PRINTER could talk, what would it say?"
well as soon as you can prove that animals have a soul.. :) Plus I didn't get to the top of the food chain to exclusively eat what food eats :P
"It's hot, dirty, and sharp in here. Go ahead and stick your hand way back here to remove the jam. I double dog dare you."If JESUS could talk, what would he say?
Jerrod, I can't prove that humans have a soul.
"I do talk and I wrote a book."If MARIJUANA could talk, what would it say.
"Jerrod, save some for everybody else!"If WINDSHIELD WIPERS could talk, what would they say?
"Swish, swish"If Cotton Candy could talk, what would it say?
"I melt in your mouth but stick to your thighs."If a MARGARITA could talk, what would it say?
*Stephanie, last Saturday we went to Villa Fiesta. I told Brooks I was going to order a big margarita like we had that night. I told the waiter who didn't speak much English I wanted the big one. He looked at me funny and said "big one!" and demonstrated a big glass with his hands. I said, "Yes, the big one." He brought me out a $15 margarita I had to pick up with both hands. Since I paid so much for it I made sure I drank it all even though my stomach was waterlogged from drinking so much. I was stumbling around in the middle of the day for several hours.*
There is nothing better than stumbling around in the middle of the day. That is hilarious!!!That place charges a lot for alchy-hall.
Day-stumbling is so much more fun than night-stumbling! I think it's because it's taboo. I know. They really bend you over at that place. We went to a new Mexican restaurant tonight and they had about 7 different sizes and the largest was only $7.95!
"Damn i'm just a margarita, the tinis is where it's at. Apple, pear, peachtinis, oh yeh!"If a GIRAFFE could talk, what would it say?
"Damn, what kind of paper are you using? Feels like tree bark!"
If your SHEETS could talk, what would they say?