The FAYZ: The Gone Series discussion

FAYZ story > Prologe & Chapter 1

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message 1: by Luke (new)

Luke (lukefayz) | 94 comments Prologue
The FAYZ? Is that what they call it now? That’s what they decide to call a giant electrifying dome that surrounds us? That sounds too temporary. Like a phase that you go through. But this thing doesn’t look like it’s going anywhere. You see one day I was in Phys Ed at my school and Perdido beach, and the teacher was in the middle of telling me to stop getting hit by the dodge ball when it happened. He disappeared. “Poof.” So did Jonathan, an older bully of 15 who got held back. At the time, I thought I must have been seeing things. But now I’m sitting outside on the bench we left on my porch, 4 or 5 months later, still stuck. Ever since the beginning of the FAYZ, I, Ned Rigby, a 14 year old basketball player with a lean but muscular physique, have been rooming with some of my old teammates: Jim Kerrigan, a second string Center with short blonde hair and a very nervous mien about him, and Riley McDonahue, third string point guard who was always trying to one-up the next guy. I used to be the second string right wing. None of us got to play very much. Maybe that’s why we got to be such good friends. Jim and I however, were not like Riley. We had developed powers. Jim, well, he controls electricity. Jim happens to be a 3 bar, like me. You see Diana Ladris, the evil witch of Coates Academy and loyal accomplice of Caine Soren, reads peoples power levels. She explains them with cell phone bars. One bar, two bar, three bar, and four bar. I’m a 3 bar, water manipulator myself. Can’t make it, but I sure as hell can make it move. There are only two four bars. Sam and Caine: Fraternal twins. They hate each other’s guts. Sam’s our hero. The king of kings. Caine is the evil one. He will do everything he can to manipulate you. He can also throw things with his mind, telekinesis. Sam shoots green-white light from his hands. He’s a blowtorch. You don’t want to mess with him.
Chapter 1
“Rigby! I swear to God if you keep letting that ball hi—.” Poof. Gone. No leaving. Just disappearing. I stare at the empty space that once occupied Mr. Stags.
Turning around to look at Jim, I see him staring at his hands. “I…I…didn’t..,” he stammers. All of a sudden Riley comes bursting through the Jim doors with a big smile on his face.
“NO TEACHERS!!!” That caused a very mixed reaction to the class. Some kids cheering and jumping all around the gym, others still stare in fright and a few just screaming. From behind Riley I could make out a 7th and 8th graders looking at their cell phone and holding them up at various heights. Jim and I dart over to Riley and we head out into main hallway. To our left, we see Sam Temple, or School Bus Sam*, Quinn Gaither, Sam’s odd surfing buddy, and Astrid Ellison, beautiful and extremely intelligent, talking to a few smaller kids who seem to be talking about raiding candy from the teacher’s lounge.
To our right are the clear double doors of the school, decorated with some pictures of scale drawings of Thanksgiving Turkeys that the 6th graders did in Math. The Three of us walk out of the school to see almost the entire student body wandering around on the freshly cut grass. Most kids stayed together in cliques. We stand there for a few seconds, taking it in. Bursting through the door comes Sam and his clique looking more confused than ever, yet somehow still confident in themselves. Quinn bumps me in the shoulder.
“Sorry brah.”
“It’s cool. Hey Sam, where do we go from here?”
“I wish I could tell you brah. But I have no clue. Maybe head to the town plaza? I have a feeling that a lot of kids will find their way over there.”
“That sounds like a plan,” Riley says with a cunning smile. Sam turns back to Quinn and Riley winks at Astrid. She glares. I elbow him in the side. “Hey, what was that for man?”
“For winking at Astrid the Genius. She’s way out of your league,” I reply, knowingly.
“Ned?” Jim asks nervously with a sad and serious expression on his face.
“Yeah, dude?”
“What about me?” he stammers, laughing his head off. We all start laughing until our bones ache. I have a strange feeling it would be awhile until any of us laughed that hard in awhile.
Chapter 2
Jim, Riley and I are sitting on the ground outside in the town plaza when I smelled the smoke.

message 2: by [deleted user] (new)

I really, truly like it. Great introduction to pull me into the story and stay interesting. And lemme tell you, if I don't like a story, I put it down or 'click' out if it. Mmmm, and I understand Sam is like portrayed as the whole hero, king, savior of everyone else, you know? But this, ' “It’s cool. Hey Sam, where do we go from here?”
“I wish I could tell you brah. But I have no clue. Maybe head to the town plaza? I have a feeling that a lot of kids will find their way over there.” ' Just kinda seems...not weird, but off. And I don't agree with it totally.
I love your writing style, and I'll keep reading it!!

message 3: by Luke (new)

Luke (lukefayz) | 94 comments well i'm glad to see that you look at him as a hero now.....hehehe

message 4: by [deleted user] (new)


message 5: by Luke (new)

Luke (lukefayz) | 94 comments i dont quite understand what you mean by you dont agree? should i change the dialogue style? or is the context not believable?

message 6: by [deleted user] (new)

Sorry, what I said doesn't make sense haha.
It just doesn't quite sound like Sam yet. Since everyone is like 'WTF are the adults?!' he already seems so sure and confident and I don't remember that in the books but I'm probably just not making sense so nevermind, lol...

message 7: by Luke (new)

Luke (lukefayz) | 94 comments its cool

message 8: by Elle (last edited Mar 21, 2010 08:08AM) (new)

Elle (2cute4u) | 232 comments oh, i was just thinking about that part, remember how he faded into the background after a while? Well, it seems like he hasn't taken charge yet and everyone already thinks of him as a 'hero'. I really like it tho, it's really good :)
and i'm not just saying that, i'm brutally honest lol :P

message 9: by Danyon (new)

Danyon (evergrand) | 17 comments I LOVE it. Making a GONE story from another person's perspective! (why didn't i think of it?)..... It's sweet. I hope you continue with it. I'm gonna go read more right now. :)

message 10: by Luke (new)

Luke (lukefayz) | 94 comments :)

message 11: by Leah (new)

Leah (aliveandwell) | 184 comments YUPPPPP!!!!!!!!! ~;DDD I lovve the intro!! it stars well, caught my eye would you say?? i love it!! keeeeppp on typing

message 12: by Mike (new)

Mike | 509 comments dude.. this story is awesome! i feel like im reading somethong from michael grant like an attachment to the gone series. keep up the good work:)

message 13: by Leah (new)

Leah (aliveandwell) | 184 comments somethong??? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! im sorry mike. i find that funny. yea!! i get that with other authors. one author Alyson Noel writes all about California and they'r pretty much the same. (the books i mean)

message 14: by Mike (new)

Mike | 509 comments hahahahahhahahahaha oops didnt mean that

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