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Random Queries > Things you really want to do, but never seem to have the time to do

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message 1: by Daniel (new)

Daniel Clausen Wow, it's been so long since I've had a chance to get on goodreads. What have I been doing with myself. I'd like to say I've been living my life, but more accurately, I guess my life has been living me. And it makes me wonder whether everything I'm doing is as vital as it should be--am I living my life without regret.

I keep a list of all the things I wannt to do before it's time to cash in my chips. Lately, it seems like the list is growing longer, and I'm not making any headway on it. So, I've got in the habit of throwing things off the list and focusing on what's really important. What is really important? What do you want to do but never seem to have the time to do?

Believe it or not, it's the little things. Always the little things I forget to do. At the top of my list is this: Get to know the person next to you.

Sometimes, in this hectic workaday world, you get so wrapped up in yourself that you forget that person next to you is a human being too. With their own stories and problems. Too often, I forget to introduce myself and really listen to what they have to say. On that note, I miss taking the public transport.

Other things on the list: Travel to a different country, learn Chinese, Volunteer Work, watch the movie Hot Fuzz, become more sophisticated with my choice of music, call everyone who has ever mattered to me out of nowhere and thank them personally.

There's more. But I'm done talking. What's on your list?


message 2: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments This is a great question, very thoughtfully framed. Thank you, Daniel.

I think about traveling more as well. I might hit the Pacific northwest in May. I haven't been there in a couple decades.

I don't think I can ever spend enough time with my kids, but now my oldest is nearing twelve the time is even more valuable. He's getting busy with dive practice and basketball and sleepovers, so today I took him out to lunch, just us, and talked about what he likes about diving and the like. I wanted to go to a cool restaurant, but he insisted on Subway, where he gets a plain turkey sandwich. Sigh.

I'm way too wrapped in work. I turned down an opportunity for a promotion, just today, and I'm proud of myself, because the promotion would have brought more hassle and frustration into my life. I'm trying to simplify so I have time to do the things you describe.

Tomorrow I'm going to try to not work. Little things like that. Meditation. I'm with you, sir.


message 3: by Cambridge (last edited Mar 05, 2010 10:47PM) (new)

Cambridge (hsquare) | 509 comments Great question I love both of your insights and thoughtful items on your lists, like yours Daniel to get to know the person next to you and especially to call everyone out of the blue who has ever been important to you. LOVE that one. Random, I like you, try and do chalk off my list as often as I can, take special personal time with each of my children, just one on one time to do something like lunch or bike ride or something of their choice. I remind myself regularly to make more time for that. Life seems so hectic ALL the time that I hate that I need to remind myself to do that. So I guess you would consider that on my list. But likewise, I make sure I stay upfront and honest with the people I truly care the most about, to not let too much time pass without touching base even if I am the one always reaching out....so although I do do it, I consider that on my list. Those types of things I find the most important but there are places I would love to take my children to see and experience it with them, I desperately want to learn another language........ and then of course there are the minute unimportant things like TRULY throwing away any clothes that "if you haven't worn them in over a year" then time to give them to Good Will........... I really need to shed the things that stockpile and really aren't important. I am organized and by no means a hoarder for pete's sake, but I wish i would minimize......... Ok enough.


message 4: by Phil (new)

Phil | 11605 comments I would like to discover a cure for depression, because I see so many people (including one very close to me) suffering from it.


message 5: by Daniel (new)

Daniel Clausen RandomAnthony wrote: "This is a great question, very thoughtfully framed. Thank you, Daniel.

I think about traveling more as well. I might hit the Pacific northwest in May. I haven't been there in a couple decades.
..."


Exactly...for the longest time, I've been trying to simplify. Every time I start to make progress though, there is something in the back of my mind that screams more. Some of it has to do with modernization, my surrounding, the whispers everywhere of more and more, but also it just has to do with discipline. It takes discipline to say no to more.


message 6: by Daniel (new)

Daniel Clausen Cambridge wrote: "Great question I love both of your insights and thoughtful items on your lists, like yours Daniel to get to know the person next to you and especially to call everyone out of the blue who has ever ..."

The things you own end up owning you... yeah, I've taken that one to heart. I've even started to piss off family by telling them not to buy me things for Christmas. Donate money I tell them. The first time, they obliged, but the next Christmas, some members chided: "again."


message 7: by Daniel (new)

Daniel Clausen Phil wrote: "I would like to discover a cure for depression, because I see so many people (including one very close to me) suffering from it."

What about a treatment for depression. Treatment of depression is slower, simpler, and more holistic--but maybe that's what humans need. We need a communal process of treating people like people. A cure seems like a way of cheating people of everything they would get with the treatment.


message 8: by Phil (new)

Phil | 11605 comments Slower and simpler may be fine for many, but I'll stick with "cure" if only because there are hundreds of people who won't be alive tomorrow because their depression drove them to suicide tonight. Slower and simpler is too late for them.


message 9: by RandomAnthony (new)

RandomAnthony | 14536 comments I also understand that people are trying to help, but telling a depressed person to "relax" isn't helpful. As a person who has gone through some rough stretches, telling me to "relax" has left me feeling as if what I was experiencing was minimized and if I, I don't know, just sat down and watched tv or something it should go away, so I must be doing something wrong.


message 10: by janine (new)

janine | 7715 comments i recently read about a treatment, not a cure, for depression. just by talking about what they would want for themselves, fantasizing about an ideal world and life, the chances of getting another depression were drastically reduced. i can't remember the details, but it made a lot of sense. this treatment works because it is a way to break through all the negative thinking.


Jackie "the Librarian" | 8993 comments That's interesting, Janine. So, by changing what your brain is focusing on, you change one's mindset, too?


message 12: by janine (new)

janine | 7715 comments it is a form of cognitive therapy focused on relapse prevention. i am not sure how it works exactly, i only read the light version. for those of you not afraid of science-speak: http://www.gmw.rug.nl/~doorbreekdepre...


message 13: by Daniel (new)

Daniel Clausen Phil wrote: "Slower and simpler may be fine for many, but I'll stick with "cure" if only because there are hundreds of people who won't be alive tomorrow because their depression drove them to suicide tonight. ..."

Fair enough.


message 14: by Daniel (new)

Daniel Clausen janine wrote: "i recently read about a treatment, not a cure, for depression. just by talking about what they would want for themselves, fantasizing about an ideal world and life, the chances of getting another d..."

Yeah there is some fairly good research on treatments like art therapy and exercise. When my dad was suffering from depression it was typically being social and doing things that helped him feel useful that made him feel better.


message 15: by Youndyc (new)

Youndyc | 1255 comments I'm going to think about this question in the context of things that are realistically within my grasp, but for which I never seem to have or make time:

Get organized

Call my grandmother

Call my friend who lives elsewhere

Clean out my closet of clothes I don't wear

That's just a short starter list. I have many other back burner projects (like painting the living room) that I just never seem to make the time to move to the front.


message 16: by Daniel (new)

Daniel Clausen There are definately some benefits to keeping your list short and doable. I find though that sometimes my backburner desires overwhelm my common sense.

Youndyc wrote: "I'm going to think about this question in the context of things that are realistically within my grasp, but for which I never seem to have or make time:

Get organized

Call my grandmother

C..."



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