I feel like chapter 3 really started getting at the heart of how to simplify... while I thought the first two chapters did a great job of setting up why this is important, this chapter starts tackling the issue...
I was not surprised to read the statistic of children getting on average 70 toys a year, and that "toys have become the staples of family life, appropriate as purchased any day of the year". i think it would be interesting to count up how many toys in a year my children recieve, although I'm pretty certain it's far less than 70. i do like the idea of not constantly purchasing toys for your child, but I think that it's okay to purchase/give your child a toy at times which aren't special occasions, such as Christmas/birthday. My husband & I agreed before we even had kids that we didn't want those days to be a deluge of gifts, and that there would be other times to purchase toys for our children, like sand toys at the beginning of the summer (we seem to go through these toys every year because they're used so much!).
The commentary about TV stations with commercials - they are definately a strong influence! I've noticed that the few times when my son has watched a show on a station that has commercials he will then point something out in the store and say "I saw that on TV". While we almost always stick to PBS or Nick Jr. for shows because they're essentially commercial-free there have been times when Ben's watched a show or movie and definately picked up on the marketing. I wonder how you limit this as they get older - they will inevitably watch channels with commercials - maybe a talk about consumerism at a basic level?
I put two of the books mentioned in the chapter on my "want to read" goodreads list: "Born to Buy" by Juliet Schor, and "The Shelter of Each Other" by Pipher - have either of you read either? I checked out "Born to Buy", and started reading... it's both affirmed some of what I thought in terms of commercialism, but also made me rethink taking my kids on grocery shopping trips, or quick errands as well.
I'm really interested in thinking now about how to deal with children wanting something, and finding constructive ways to approach it. We haven't had to deal with this much yet - of course Ben will tell us he wants something (right now it's a bike with training wheels), but he doesn't really engage in "pester power", per say. I do think, though, that even we as adults have trouble with this - we see things we really want, or can be influenced by what others have. What seems to have helped me as an adult is to think about if this will bring clutter into our home, and is it "beautiful or useful" (I think I read that someplace - maybe an organization book, but I really liked the concept). This isn't really something a 5-year-old, or a 10-year-old would be skilled at, I don't think.
Something that seems to have helped, and it wasn't done intentionally to limit the number of toys in our home, but has helped with it, is to think about toys we plan to buy for a while before buying them. It started out as finding items that looked good, putting them on a wist list, and then going back to revisit the list when it was time to shop for birthday or christmas, and weed some items out. I had thought a wooden barn with animals would be fun - lots of potential for imaginary play and good for several years I hope, and put a really neat one on the list maybe 2 years ago, for future reference. When I revisited the list, I kept thinking about how much fun he would have, but the size dismayed me because he already has several Plan City items (airport, parking garage) that are a good size, and I'd like to leave space for Sophie to have a dollhouse in the future. I found oversized Lincoln Log-type blocks that can be built into a barn, and I am hoping that this will also get more use out of his Lincoln Logs as well. This approach is something we took at Christmas - we purchased items that would be able to (for the most part) add onto existing toys - another Plan City item, some additional items for the kitchen, etc. Any good ways either of you have found to limit the number of toys at your houses?
I'm curious - do either of you have toys that are fixed, or solely those that "a child can pour their imagination into"? Are a few fixed toys okay? I'm trying to think of what we have in terms of fixed toys... I know we've had some throughout the years, but I've been working to try and weed those out & limit those that come into our home. The baby toys we have are definately fixed, but I'm glad very few make noise or have bright, colorful lights.
I like the points made about play requires products, and that the parent must constantly increase the quantity and complexity of toys to capture their children's attention. We've been working hard to mainly purchase toys that can develop along with the child, like blocks, a kitchen, Quadiral mable tower, Plan City, etc... Do either of you have favorites that fall into this category?
I liked the 10-point checklist of toys without "staying power". The section on toys that inspire corrosive play - toy nerf guns, for example, come to mind - we don't have any, and don't plan to purchase any in the foreseeable future, but there have been several times when we've gone to a friend's house and there are several there. I don't think my explanation about guns not being toys has really been understood fully yet, but I'll keep working on it and think that in the future it might be better understood, cognitively.
The concept of toy multiples - it seems like even simple toys that can grow with a child, such as train tracks & cars, kitchens, Lincoln Logs, Legos - they can all multiply... I'm thinking that rotating is helpful with this?
The hardest section of this chapter for me to read was about books - the concept that less is better. When I first read it, I thought it was too extreme of an approach. I did some serious thinking about what our family reading habits are, and it seems that we almost always are reading library books. I do have a good section of paperback picture books (maybe 45), and some hardcover titles (maybe 20) that I keep on the bookshelf in Ben's room, and he periodically pulls from (last night it was Madeline), and some on the lower shelves in our family room, but those seem to rarely "circulate"... so perhaps a large number of books is also "stuff". I like the idea of having some around, and especially favorites as time goes on, but the excitement and variety of new books seems to be met with our weekly trip to the library. I'm really curious to read both your thoughts about this.
The ideas about clothes - I like this approach, and it's sort of what we've done - it didn't start from a simplicity point of view, but more as a cost-benefit analysis of sorts (I really wanted to get lots of use out of the clothes we have, essentially)... it seems relatively easy with a boy - some shirts, a few pairs of jeans/pants, one or two pairs of shoes, etc..., but perhaps more difficult with a girl?
Simplicity Parenting
discussion
I was not surprised to read the statistic of children getting on average 70 toys a year, and that "toys have become the staples of family life, appropriate as purchased any day of the year". i think it would be interesting to count up how many toys in a year my children recieve, although I'm pretty certain it's far less than 70. i do like the idea of not constantly purchasing toys for your child, but I think that it's okay to purchase/give your child a toy at times which aren't special occasions, such as Christmas/birthday. My husband & I agreed before we even had kids that we didn't want those days to be a deluge of gifts, and that there would be other times to purchase toys for our children, like sand toys at the beginning of the summer (we seem to go through these toys every year because they're used so much!).
The commentary about TV stations with commercials - they are definately a strong influence! I've noticed that the few times when my son has watched a show on a station that has commercials he will then point something out in the store and say "I saw that on TV". While we almost always stick to PBS or Nick Jr. for shows because they're essentially commercial-free there have been times when Ben's watched a show or movie and definately picked up on the marketing. I wonder how you limit this as they get older - they will inevitably watch channels with commercials - maybe a talk about consumerism at a basic level?
I put two of the books mentioned in the chapter on my "want to read" goodreads list:
"Born to Buy" by Juliet Schor, and "The Shelter of Each Other" by Pipher - have either of you read either? I checked out "Born to Buy", and started reading... it's both affirmed some of what I thought in terms of commercialism, but also made me rethink taking my kids on grocery shopping trips, or quick errands as well.
I'm really interested in thinking now about how to deal with children wanting something, and finding constructive ways to approach it. We haven't had to deal with this much yet - of course Ben will tell us he wants something (right now it's a bike with training wheels), but he doesn't really engage in "pester power", per say. I do think, though, that even we as adults have trouble with this - we see things we really want, or can be influenced by what others have. What seems to have helped me as an adult is to think about if this will bring clutter into our home, and is it "beautiful or useful" (I think I read that someplace - maybe an organization book, but I really liked the concept). This isn't really something a 5-year-old, or a 10-year-old would be skilled at, I don't think.
Something that seems to have helped, and it wasn't done intentionally to limit the number of toys in our home, but has helped with it, is to think about toys we plan to buy for a while before buying them. It started out as finding items that looked good, putting them on a wist list, and then going back to revisit the list when it was time to shop for birthday or christmas, and weed some items out. I had thought a wooden barn with animals would be fun - lots of potential for imaginary play and good for several years I hope, and put a really neat one on the list maybe 2 years ago, for future reference. When I revisited the list, I kept thinking about how much fun he would have, but the size dismayed me because he already has several Plan City items (airport, parking garage) that are a good size, and I'd like to leave space for Sophie to have a dollhouse in the future. I found oversized Lincoln Log-type blocks that can be built into a barn, and I am hoping that this will also get more use out of his Lincoln Logs as well. This approach is something we took at Christmas - we purchased items that would be able to (for the most part) add onto existing toys - another Plan City item, some additional items for the kitchen, etc. Any good ways either of you have found to limit the number of toys at your houses?
I'm curious - do either of you have toys that are fixed, or solely those that "a child can pour their imagination into"? Are a few fixed toys okay? I'm trying to think of what we have in terms of fixed toys... I know we've had some throughout the years, but I've been working to try and weed those out & limit those that come into our home. The baby toys we have are definately fixed, but I'm glad very few make noise or have bright, colorful lights.
I like the points made about play requires products, and that the parent must constantly increase the quantity and complexity of toys to capture their children's attention. We've been working hard to mainly purchase toys that can develop along with the child, like blocks, a kitchen, Quadiral mable tower, Plan City, etc... Do either of you have favorites that fall into this category?
I liked the 10-point checklist of toys without "staying power". The section on toys that inspire corrosive play - toy nerf guns, for example, come to mind - we don't have any, and don't plan to purchase any in the foreseeable future, but there have been several times when we've gone to a friend's house and there are several there. I don't think my explanation about guns not being toys has really been understood fully yet, but I'll keep working on it and think that in the future it might be better understood, cognitively.
The concept of toy multiples - it seems like even simple toys that can grow with a child, such as train tracks & cars, kitchens, Lincoln Logs, Legos - they can all multiply... I'm thinking that rotating is helpful with this?
The hardest section of this chapter for me to read was about books - the concept that less is better. When I first read it, I thought it was too extreme of an approach. I did some serious thinking about what our family reading habits are, and it seems that we almost always are reading library books. I do have a good section of paperback picture books (maybe 45), and some hardcover titles (maybe 20) that I keep on the bookshelf in Ben's room, and he periodically pulls from (last night it was Madeline), and some on the lower shelves in our family room, but those seem to rarely "circulate"... so perhaps a large number of books is also "stuff". I like the idea of having some around, and especially favorites as time goes on, but the excitement and variety of new books seems to be met with our weekly trip to the library. I'm really curious to read both your thoughts about this.
The ideas about clothes - I like this approach, and it's sort of what we've done - it didn't start from a simplicity point of view, but more as a cost-benefit analysis of sorts (I really wanted to get lots of use out of the clothes we have, essentially)... it seems relatively easy with a boy - some shirts, a few pairs of jeans/pants, one or two pairs of shoes, etc..., but perhaps more difficult with a girl?