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Jim son of Jim (formerly PhotoJim) (Jim_formerly_Photojim) | 5294 comments At some point in time I realized that I was never going to be great. I was never going to win a marathon. I wasn't going to discover the cure for cancer. I was never going to go on tour with the band. I remember dreaming of doing all these things. I don't anymore.

I remember hundreds of lectures and speeches delivered by parents, teachers, and friends about me not living up to my potential. "Man, you could be really good at this if you just..." "You are only hurting yourself! All you had to do was mail it in!" "Don't you want something better for yourself?" I still get them sometimes, though not as often. Perhaps my failures aren't as public or spectacular as they once were. Maybe the number of people who care has just shrunk.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not being morose. I'm pretty happy with my life and who I am. I have two beautiful children, live in a nice house, don't go hungry, and am married for more than 17 years to the most wonderful woman on earth. In fact I'd venture to say that I have more fun and am happier than 95% of the people I know.

It's just... I don't know. I'll be 41 in a little over a week. I was thinking this morning (while not doing the things I need to do to be successful) that I haven't made any plans for awhile. Even if the thoughts never got out of my head onto paper I was always planning something. I suddenly feel like I've given up. What I want to know is, when did THAT happen?

So tell me about your dream. Tell me about what you are doing to work to that end. I challenge you to open up and share a little. Inspire me.


message 2: by Jennefer (new)

Jennefer (JenneferPracticex3) | 247 comments Hey Jim,

I know what you mean! You want to strive to be successful but don't want that drive to completely take over your life. You want to be at peace with what you have but not settle for less than you deserve. Too much drive and to many plans can spin you out of balance but so can to little. It's a big lifelong balancing act isn't it! :) I know that I always have plans spinning in my head and I have to constantly work at not taking on too much but not letting anything I really want slip by either.

Right now I am training for a marathon! Whoo hoo! I am going to run the Rock 'n' Roll Marathon in Sand Diego June 6th! I started training in early January and already I have made so much progress and I am so proud of myself! I can't wait to cross that finish line! I have never been a big runner but this is just one of those things I want to experience. I may not be the fasted (or even close) I just want to complete it. So that is what I am working on now. I run 4 days a week, cross train 1 day and 2 days for rest. No matter how much I want to stay in bed I just force myself to get up anyway and run those miles! It is a great feeling! :)

Good luck to you in following your dreams Jim :)
xoxoxo



Jim son of Jim (formerly PhotoJim) (Jim_formerly_Photojim) | 5294 comments Thanks Jennefer. I commend you for the marathon. I can do a 5k and that's about it. Being middle aged, overweight, and having a surgically corrected knee, I don't think I'll get much beyond that either.

But as for you, keep up the good work. Enjoy that endorphin rush. You've earned it.


message 4: by KimKirt (new)

KimKirt | 1638 comments Jim,

Sometimes I feel like that. Turned 45 this year and it was kind of hard. I mean, I don't feel 45, I don't think I look it (yeah, right) and don't act it. I never had these huge aspirations in my 20's, I kind of just always wanted to get married and have 4 kids. Well, I didn't get married until 35 and God did bless me with one child, whom I love dearly. I remember once seeing a quote that said "We can't all be heroes, someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by." and it kind of struck me all of a sudden like "Hey, that's me! Clapping for the heroes." But I want to believe in my mind that somewhere along the way I did make a difference to someone. Not necessarily a family member, but maybe a lost friend who I helped during a time of need or something, you know? And, I think that's enough for me. No, I won't discover the cure for cancer, but maybe, just maybe, when my son and I go to the Humane Society and play in the cat room, or when we march with his Cub Scout pack in the Veterans Day Parade and wave at the veterans, maybe, just maybe, that is my niche in society. A wallflower, not necessarily noticed, but contributing just here and there. Almost like a beloved peck on the cheek instead of a great big bear hug embrace.

Does that make any sense? I can't say I'm totally fulfilled, which is good, because that might sound like I've given up, and I haven't. But something I say, or do, may follow someone for their rest of their lives. So ponder that.

Case in point here, when I was in high school, I was very overweight, went to a football game and was about to sit down on the bleachers and the guy behind me, his foot was on my seat, so his girlfriend sitting next to him said "You better move your foot, she might crush it." (Yeah, sounds like a teen movie or something huh?). Anyway, I sat and could have crawled inside myself and died, but my friend turned to her, gave her an evil glare and said "You know, what you said, that's just not very nice." I ALWAYS have remembered her sticking up for me. We never kept in touch after high school, and here it is, oh good Lord, 30 years later, and I still remember her sticking up for me. I don't believe she went on and triumphed over that moment or it caused any great doors to open in her life, but I still think about her from time to time and how she stuck up for me. And how she was my hero at that time.

I hope this lengthy ramble made some sense in answer to your post! I guess what I'm trying to say is, you may be someone's hero already and you just don't know it. ;-)



message 5: by Jennefer (new)

Jennefer (JenneferPracticex3) | 247 comments Kim wrote: "I can't say I'm totally fulfilled, which is good, because that might sound like I've given up, and I haven't. "

I love that Kim! That is exactly it! Its OK (better than OK, its perfect!) to be in transition, to be in progress, to be a little less than fulfilled! I agree with you 100% that the best accomplishment would be to simply live with a much love and joy as possible and shine that light wherever you go :)

At the same time I do think that sometimes there are things you just want to do, just for you, just to know that you did it. I also think it is OK to decide that you deserve to do whatever it is that you just feel you need to accomplish. Not for anybody else to say "wow, that was so cool" but just for you. It is not always as easy as just doing it, sometimes you have to know you deserve it. You have to have that sense of self worth. But that can also influence people around you in a positive way that you might not realize. I am a big believer that when you work on yourself you change the whole world in a very real way! :)

Anyway... there is my additional little ramble :)

xoxo



message 6: by KimKirt (new)

KimKirt | 1638 comments By the way, Jennefer, didn't mean to gloss over your post. I think the marathon is AWESOME! Wow!

And thanks for your kind words on my post. And yes, I agree totally that everyone needs their aspirations and accomplishments. However big or small, and we should cheer them all on. Keep us posted on your marathon training, and even though I won't be there in person, I'll clap for you from afar!




message 7: by Jennefer (new)

Jennefer (JenneferPracticex3) | 247 comments Kim wrote: "Keep us posted on your marathon training, and even though I won't be there in person, I'll clap for you from afar! "

Thanks! :)






message 8: by ~~*Julie (new)

~~*Julie Kawalec-pearson (Jewl) | 84 comments You guys are DEEP!!! I wish I could run a marathon but I am way to out of shape for that! I realized I have a motivation problem when I am watching biggest loser and eating oreos!


message 9: by Arch (new)

Arch Julie wrote: "You guys are DEEP!!! I wish I could run a marathon but I am way to out of shape for that! I realized I have a motivation problem when I am watching biggest loser and eating oreos!"

Hey, oreos are good. :)


message 10: by Jennefer (new)

Jennefer (JenneferPracticex3) | 247 comments Arch wrote: "Julie wrote: "You guys are DEEP!!! I wish I could run a marathon but I am way to out of shape for that! I realized I have a motivation problem when I am watching biggest loser and eating oreos!"

..."


Oreos are awesome!!! :)


message 11: by ~~*Julie (new)

~~*Julie Kawalec-pearson (Jewl) | 84 comments I do love the oreos!
I think I have decided that my dream is to win the lottery (isn't everyones!) But really I would love to go back to school and become a librarian, a book reviewer, or a bookstore owner. How do you just get paid to read abooks all the time? Thats the job for me and my dream.

Right now I work with teenagers and try to get them from getting pregnant. That was my dream job a few years ago( and I do still love it) so I guess I need to start working on the new dream!

By the way if I did win the lottery I wuold also have a Pit Bull rescue right here in the midwest! I need to save kids and dogs!

You guys are so inspiring on the WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN POST!!!

KIM--I hope your friend who stuck up for you has been rewarded in her life for being such a good friend- mean people suck!
Jennefer-Good luck on the marathon and on being motivated!


message 12: by Purple (last edited Feb 27, 2010 04:24AM) (new)

Purple (PurpleTan) | 1221 comments Oreos in ice cream is better, like cookies and cream hehe. Wow, your post all sounds generous. Mine seems...

Anyway, I was 12 and I decided then that I would
a. graduate with honors,
b. go to a university with no failing grades,
c. work in the Big City wearing high heels, short skirts, the corporate look,
d. drive my own car, and sit around doing nothing 'coz I'm the boss.
e. Then I'll get married to someone handsome and self-sufficient and who will buy me a house and I would wake up with him everyday.

I guess at the time I'm already reading too much romance novels. Fairy tale ending, you know, I had it all planned. Let me just repeat, I was 12.

Well this is what actually happened.
I did graduate (from high school) but without awards of any sort. Graduated from the university with one failing grade. Worked in the big city with high heels and short skirts like the rest of the uniformed employee.
And I almost quit from the meanness of my colleagues. I wasn't the boss afterall.
The car is a bus from which I fell and got scoliosis instead.
I did get married, and for the first year we see each other everyday. The rest and upto now we only see one another twice a year for a period of one week. He did buy me a house, although I still woke up alone everyday even when he was here (he jogs early in the morning).

Now? I still wear short skirts and high heels. I left the Big City and transferred to my hometown, still working, quietly raising my two kids, waking up with them each morning.

My husband is coming home this June. I have a new plan =)
-he already knows than to jog in the morning when he's home with me. =D
-going to buy a running shoes (I'll try jogging, I swear I will)
-saving for a car
-working on getting a promotion
-eat more ice cream
-don't plan too much, saves oneself from disappointment

Re-reading it.. Come to think of it, I just live each day as it comes now. Life is short and I will enjoy it.


message 13: by Arch (new)

Arch Cookie and Cream ice cream is good.

I haven't had oreo cereal in a while.


message 14: by Jennefer (new)

Jennefer (JenneferPracticex3) | 247 comments Purple wrote: "don't plan too much, saves oneself from disappointment"

I like that :)


Charlotte (Buried in Books) | 561 comments Hmmm, my dream? I was divorced before I hit 30 (turning 30 didn't depress me, but the being divorced did). Now 5 years later I'm staring down the barrel of 35. I've spent 5 years living on my own (which I never thought I could do). I've got my own house, car and really good job. I haven't ruled out having kids.

So my dream (which might sound really sappy), is to find a man who'll accept me for just who I am - books, Bon Jovi and all, one that I can trust (Edward Cullen without the vampire tendancies would be ideal, or Nick from CSI). Not realistic I know, but it makes me happy to think about it.


message 16: by Rossy (new)

Rossy (naughtybookjunkie) | 2192 comments Charlotte (Buried in Books) wrote: "Hmmm, my dream? I was divorced before I hit 30 (turning 30 didn't depress me, but the being divorced did). Now 5 years later I'm staring down the barrel of 35. I've spent 5 years living on my ow..."

5 years younger, minus a divorce and i'm YOU!LOL

What were my dreams?
*I never dreamed of getting married, but i had always planned on having kids by the time i was 25!
*There was the part about graduating and getting a fabulous job.
*To fall IN love. Silly as it may seem for a dream, i have never been in love with anyone. I've always known the difference between lust, REALLY like and crush.
*To travel a lot.
*Buy my mother a house.
*Publish a novel.

I still have not fallen in love and there are still no kids. Though in 2 years if i haven't met Mr. Right i'll do it on my own.
I did get a great job. Although not fabulous where i would barely do anything, i can work part-time from home. Giving me plenty of free time to read.
I have and still travel a lot, though mostly not on vacation anymore. My mother now has her own house, just not in the US.LOL
One thing i learned as i've grown older is that am never really going to publish a novel. While am great at writing stories down, i'm better at reading great novels. I have no patience for research and so forth, once i stop i easily get distracted by books already published.

So what would i like to accomplish these days?
*Probably move out of the city, am getting sick of the rush.
*Buy my own house or get married, it's funny how you want more security as you get older.
*Try to bribe my boss to let me work from home full time.
*Also organize my GR bookshelf before my OCD kills me.


message 17: by Jackie (new)

Jackie (jackieonl) Even just two years ago my dream was to live the good life in NYC. I just love the city and even though I'm from Upstate NY, NYC still feels like home to me.

Then I met my boyfriend and family became very important to me. I want to experience life and the world with him. I can't wait until I'm a teacher so I won't have to work a crappy retail job that makes me work on every holiday.

I still want to travel the world, publish a novel, and as silly as it sounds I'm joining the Y soon so I can join a volleyball league!


message 18: by Jennefer (last edited Aug 30, 2010 05:40PM) (new)

Jennefer (JenneferPracticex3) | 247 comments Update on post #2 :

I ended up swiching to the E.T. Full Moon Midnight Marathon in Rachel NV, August 21st. That's right, I completed my marathon, out in the middle of the night in the middle of the desert running along the edge of area 51! LOL I had a hard time with my left foot on and off all through training and it decided to act up on me the second half, so my time is not what I had hoped (I was going for 6 hrs, still not super speedy by any means) but I completed it!!! Check me out here (click on results at the left), I finished second to last in 7 hrs 47 min. Lots of room for improvement for my next one :)


Me (left) and my sister Amanda (right) at the finish line with our spify finishers metals! More pictures on my profile.


message 19: by Sandra (new)

Sandra | 4242 comments Congratulations Jennefer!!!!!!!


Jim son of Jim (formerly PhotoJim) (Jim_formerly_Photojim) | 5294 comments Huge congratulations Jennefer! I know I sure couldn't do it. You kick much but!


message 21: by Mel W (new)

Mel W (MelW) | 981 comments Jennefer, what an achievement - congratulations!


message 22: by Jennefer (new)

Jennefer (JenneferPracticex3) | 247 comments Thanks guys! I am pretty proud of myself :) It was a really cool experience and I am already starting to think about my next one!


message 23: by Ashley FL (new)

Ashley FL That's so awesome -- Congrats!


message 24: by KimKirt (new)

KimKirt | 1638 comments WTG Jennefer!!!


message 25: by Fran, Moderator (new)

Fran | 9730 comments Wow! Great job Jennefer- Congrats!


message 26: by Rossy (new)

Rossy (naughtybookjunkie) | 2192 comments Congratulations Jennefer!


message 27: by Ann aka Iftcan (new)

Ann aka Iftcan (Iftcan) Hum Jim. My goals change all the time.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be:
age 6--a gunslinger
age 11--a rider for the Spanish Riding School
age 14--an archaeologist
age 16--a teacher
age 18--a dr.

I wanted 6 kids of my own and a man that loved me and our kids.

Well, needless to say, I did none of the jobs I wanted as a teenager--well, except to work on a couple of archaeological digs. Never got the degree tho.

I have 1 child, who's 35 now and 2 grandsons, aged almost 12 and almost 14. (both birthdays coming up later this month and in Oct.)

When I was 25 my goal was to live long enough to see my daughter graduate from kindergarten. I had been diagnosed with advanced throat cancer. Fortunately, when the operation was over and the very large (size of a softball) tumour biopsied, it was still pre-cancerous, but it wouldn't have been for much longer.

When I was 30 my goal in life was to be able to eat a meal and NOT wind up in the hospital. After 2 years of no diagnosis I got appendicitis and the surgeon, at the request of my family dr. did a laproscopy. I ended up losing my gall bladder, the appendix and 8 inches of my large intestine, plus adhesions that had twisted much of my lower digestive tract out of shape.

When I was 45 my goal was simple--keep my sister-in-law together emotionly long enough to get my baby brother buried and help her and my 2 nephews get settled without my brother.

6 months later, that goal had expanded to keeping my MUM and the rest of the family together emotionally after my father's death. He just quit fighting HIS cancer after my brother died.

then, 8 months after that--my goal was to help my daughter, son-in-law, husband and 2 grandkids survive the diagnosis of the oldest grandson's cancer. He will be 14 on Oct. 20, is minus 1 kidney and part of a lung, has been through 2 years of chemo and 6 weeks of radiation treatments, but, has been cancer free for 8 years now.

Then my goal was taking care of my father-in-law after his stroke. For 4 years, that's what I did. I keep him comfortable, took him on outings, out to eat and generally looked after him. When he finally died, I then did much of the paperwork for settling his estate, helping out my husband and 2 brothers-in-law.

Somewhere in there, I had to learn to walk again after a very bad car accident left me partially paralyzed. I still live with constant pain, and, while I can walk, there are days when its about all I can do to get from the bed to the bathroom or kitchen.

Right now, my biggest goal is getting my weight down to 165. At the start of this year, I realized I'd be 55 on my birthday (the 25th of this month) and that I weighted 250 pounds. I didn't want to be 55 and that FAT. So, I have worked very hard, kept an eye on everything I ate, attended a water aerobics physical therapy class 3 times a week and have just refused to give in and eat the chocolate, popcorn, chips, crisps, fried chicken and all the other fattening foods that I loved. So far, I'm at 195 pounds so I only have another 30 to go.

Despite what I've written--I've had a really GOOD life. I have the husband that I wanted (one that loves me no matter what.) I have 2 great grandkids, my daughter seems to be happy in HER marriage. I also have books, a cat and hot tea. According to my cat, I don't really NEED anything else, since I have HER in my life. :o)


Charlotte (Buried in Books) | 561 comments Ann, I don't know where you get your strength from, but you're awesome *hugs*. So is your family.


message 29: by Purple (new)

Purple (PurpleTan) | 1221 comments Ann, you deserve a spot on the Survivor. After all that..whew! YOu must have HUGE faith to have survive all that. Cheers to you!


message 30: by Ann aka Iftcan (new)

Ann aka Iftcan (Iftcan) I think what it is was summed up by my Mum. She said, "Every family has someone in it who takes care of everyone else. And that's what YOU do." I get tired sometimes. But honestly--I LIKE to take care of others. Plus, it gives me time to spend with the people I love and to read, sew, quilt, embroider etc. Yes, I don't get paid for it, but still everyone needs something to do, and that's what I do.


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