False Memory (Group Read - November 2009)

[Tracy]

I am still waiting on this from the library.

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

False Memory is real thriller. The plot is entertaining. The characters are colorful. I'm enjoying it :-)

[Jen]

I started it! I'm on page one. lol But the first sentence was so long I decided I needed fortification to continue (in the form of breakfast). I did read enough of page one though to see the mention of the Rhodes family golden retriever (sentence number two? four?). DK's partialities are showing again. And again, it got on my nerves. Always having (or nearly always) goldens be the dogs in his books is sort of like an author always having a sidekick/neighbor/friend/whatever be the token black/white/asian/whatever.

I think part of my dislike of the plethora of golden retrievers is that I prefer ugly mutts (both in real life and in my fiction, lol) to purebreds.

[Jen]

I started up again the afternoon of the 2nd and read to page 87 (about to start Chapter 14). But before I continue, I have a comment/comparison/speculation and a question.

Comment/Comparison/Speculation:
Dustin "Dusty" Rhodes is the main male protagonist and is surrounded by craziness. Dustin Crazy little brown owl is a major Koontz fan who considers this book to be among DK's best, and is virtually surrounded by other crazy Koontz fans. Coincidence? Only his parents know for sure. ;-)

Question:
This is more serious and I'd appreciate sincere advice: I have a few mental health disorders that include major depression, severe anxiety, and agoraphobia. I have been suicidal, seriously enough to be hospitalized twice.

The first 86 pages of this book left me feeling almost physically ill, and I keep comparing the severity of my symptoms to Martie's and, most especially, to Susan's. "I'm not that bad" and "That happens to me, too" and "That would make me worse" are the most common thoughts winging around in my head. Skeet (view spoiler)[attempting suicide also wasn't a great thing for me to read, as it just puts ideas into my head, as in "I couldn't jump off a roof but I could do this or that or (hide spoiler)]..."

My question is, will the characters' symptoms get a lot worse? Should I continue reading this book? I'm inclined to stop, but as I really hate giving up on books I've started, I'd like to know what others think.

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

I like that the character has my name Dusty Rhodes :-)
Valet is a nice dog too. Yes, I can relate to the phobias that the characters have. Some days I am afraid to leave my house but I just tell myself "You have to go to work. Go now. Just go now." and it is usually better when I get on the other side of the door.

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

Has anyone actually read The Manchurian Candidate? I say the movie with Angela Lansbury and thought it was good. I also have the remake starring Meryl Streep, Denzel Washington and Liev Schreiber. Now might be a good time to watch that one :-)

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

I like how Dusty Rhodes is such a strong and intelligent character. Of course, with a name like Dustin it's to be expected :-)

[Jen]

Dustin Crazy little brown owl wrote: "I like how Dusty Rhodes is such a strong and intelligent character. Of course, with a name like Dustin it's to be expected :-)"

lol Dustin ;-)

I'm just not sure whether I should continue it or not. My mental health is stable (hah!) when I avoid my triggers. False Memory has hit too many of them, and gave me more ideas to work with, to boot. One of my meds helps with the ideas: it somehow doesn't let me formulate plans. As a for instance, I'll think "I couldn't jump off a roof but I could--I wonder what that Jane character is going to do next, she's so silly!"

I'm sort of like those dogs you see in cartoons: "Let's go jump an--Squirrel!!" This is good when what I'm thinking is bad, but it's not so good when I'm trying to think good things: my mind skews away from those, too. :-(

Reading is my way of beating this. I can focus on the words in a book better than I can focus my thoughts. But if what I'm reading is making me feel physically ill as well as hitting my mental triggers...

I think I need to stop reading False Memory. Talking with you all has clarified my thinking, so thank you for helping me reach a decision. I'll read a little more, probably, just to see how it goes and if I handle it any better, but if the same feelings overwhelm like they did on Thursday, I'll stop for good. :-(

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

I understand :-) You need to do what is best for you. False Memory is a disturbing book. It's okay if you need to stop - there are other Dean Koontz books to enjoy. Maybe you should take a break from Koontz and read something a little lighter before you start the next Koontz though.

[Holly]

Ooo, this is one of my favs!!

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

Holly wrote: "Ooo, this is one of my favs!!"

Will you be re-reading it with us? It is featured until May 15th :-)

[Holly]

I'd love to, but I'm currently caught up in something else. I'm looking forward to participating in next month's group read though. :-)

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

Holly wrote: "I'd love to, but I'm currently caught up in something else. I'm looking forward to participating in next month's group read though. :-)"

You mean Shadowfires (May Group Read) or June Group Read? Do you like the show called Supernatural featuring Sam & Dean Winchester? Just curious :-)

[Holly]

I'm talking about the June group read. Yes, love the show!! :-)

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

Holly wrote: "I'm talking about the June group read. Yes, love the show!! :-)"

so, you will read whatever is chosen for June?

:-) Thought you might love that show for some reason. I stopped watching - lost interest after season 5 when it was supposed to end.

[Holly]

Yes, I do plan on reading whatever's chosen with the group.

Yes, love it! That's a bummer; sorry to hear it. I never watched it from the beginning, so I've been watching it on Netflix.

[Jen]

One thing I can say for Koontz, even if I end up giving up on False Memory...he sure is good! The fact that the first book of his I read of his contained a character so creepy that I refused to read the book in my home, and wouldn't read another DK book for over four years, and this book is hitting my triggers and I can't disassociate myself from them says a lot about his writing talent. I know that not every book of his is worthy of these feelings of greatness, in my opinion, but the aforementioned two examples certainly are. Even if I end up quitting False Memory, I'll give it a favorable review worthy of 5 stars if I have to stop because of mental health reasons. :-)

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

Do you remember which Koontz title you previously read?

Last night I watched The Manchurian Candidate - fun to see the similarities to False Memory.

[Jen]

Dustin Crazy little brown owl wrote: "Do you remember which Koontz title you previously read?"

That's why I joined this group last year: to find out. ;-)

You all thought it was Lightning. I read the blurb and it didn't ring any bells, but the memorable part for me was a creepy side character, so he wouldn't have been mentioned in the blurb. (view spoiler)[(The creepy side character was a pedophilia-inclined janitor in a home for girls.) (hide spoiler)]

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

Oh yes, that was definitely Lightning and I remember you asking us now :-) I think False Memory is more disturbing that Lightning.

[Jen]

Dustin Crazy little brown owl wrote: "Oh yes, that was definitely Lightning and I remember you asking us now :-) I think False Memory is more disturbing that Lightning."

I've got that impression. ;-) Even though I wouldn't have that character from Lightning in my home (even if he was only on the pages of the book), Lightning didn't make me so upset to read that I put the book down. I remember being rather eager to leave for work so that I could have that time on the bus and lunchtime to read the book. Then I'd be so creeped out that I'd have to go home to my "safe place" to recover. :-)

But with False Memory, after reading those first 86 pages last Thursday and feeling mentally and physically sick, I then became too afraid to pick it up again and try reading more.

I finally worked up the courage to try a second and final time to read it last night while sitting with my family watching television. Much to my relief, I made it through another 50 pages without issues of the sort that would have me abandoning the book. I'm now on page 137 and looking forward to reading more. Hopefully I'll be able to get through it.

I did read a couple lines I really liked. On page 97 of the MMP edition - about 2/3 of the way through Chapter 15 - the narrator talks about the storm Martie can hear outside Susan's home:
(view spoiler)[ The wind dropped, not shrieking anymore. But its cold whispering and sly cooing knotted the nerves... (hide spoiler)]

I really love wind storms, especially rainy wind storms, and I loved the auditory imagery evoked by these lines. Rather than spooking me, they made me wish I had such a storm outside my home. I don't think of the whispering as cold or the cooing as sly; to me, these sounds are warm and inviting. But I could sympathize with the cold and sly feelings and, as I said, enjoyed the auditory imagery. :-)

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

Wow! I am impressed. I really didn't think you would continue with False Memory. If you can make it through this book, you will be able to conquer your fears!!! Good Luck! Hooked on Phonics worked for me!

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

I kinda like the sound of wind and rain storms too even if they are a bit eerie like a good novel by Dean Koontz :-)

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

Chapter 21 ends with:
(view spoiler)[....the shrill singing of toads in the wet twilight. (hide spoiler)] :-)

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

If you can make it through Chapter 30, I think you can finish.

[Jen]

Dustin Crazy little brown owl wrote: "Wow! I am impressed. I really didn't think you would continue with False Memory. If you can make it through this book, you will be able to conquer your fears!!! Good Luck! Hooked on Phonics worked ..."

Thanks for the encouragement, Dustin. I'm rather proud of myself for picking it back up, too. But I said I would, so I wanted to follow through rather than give in to my fear. :-)

I'm about to start chapter 28 now. I've read another almost 70 pages so far today/tonight. :-)

Wish me continued success!! :-)

[Shannon]

i just check it out at the library hoepful have it read by the weekend

[Jen]

I finished it! I'm so proud of myself, and happy that I didn't give up on it after feeling so bad about the first part. The rest of the book, from chapter 14 on, was a lot easier for me to handle, but still really interesting to read. :-)

With what I've read by DK so far, I'd have to agree that False Memory is one of his best. I especially appreciated the fact that the ending fully wrapped up everything. This was very welcome given that the last few Koontz books I've read have had unsatisfying endings.

I'm so glad I read this book! :-)

[Holly]

Glad you feel that way Jen. False Memory is one of my favorites! :-)

[Jen]

It's become one of my favorite Koontz books, too. But I have to say...If I ever read it again, I'll have to remember to start at Chapter 14!! ;-)

[Shannon]

I am Chapter 53 right now and i am so lovin this one. Its been on to read list for so long now i am mad at myself for not reading it sooner very good

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

False Memory is a May 2015 Group Read. A new discussion thread has been created, but you are still welcome to comment here also.

[Karen B.]

*LOL* at Dustin, "The Plot is Entertaining, The Characters are colorful. I am enjoying it." Yes, I am listening.

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

Karen B. wrote: "*LOL* at Dustin, "The Plot is Entertaining, The Characters are colorful. I am enjoying it." Yes, I am listening."

Glad you got that :-)

[Diane Lynch]

Karen B. I will be starting that this week. Hang in their. Probably Monday.

[Barbara]

Since I see here that DK fans liked False Memory so much and say it gets easier to read after chapter 14.......I will try again.....it just depressed me so much and his books always lift me up!!!

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

I am currently reading.

[Karen B.]

Barbara, that's how I felt and I never got into it after the first depressing chapters last time I read it. But this time I DID stick with and indeed it does get better and is not so depressing. It does get better and overall, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

[Dustin the wind Crazy little brown owl, Colorful Colorado]

I personally think this is one of Dean's best books. I have previously given False Memory 4 stars because I felt the last part of the book set in New Mexico was too drawn out. Sometimes, re-reading, I will feel differently about things. I would like to give the book 5 stars. I am about 2/3 done so we'll see.

[Barbara]

Thanks you guys.....I will try it again!!