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Need help with a very difficult decision
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Man, this is a hard one. I'm sorry, Kelly. I went through with my dog a little over a year ago. We finally put her down (I hate that term) when she had trouble breathing and seemed like she was in pain.God, I miss her. I hear you, Kelly.
I'm so sorry Kelly, I had to put down my beloved puppy after 18 years together and it about ripped my heart out. They truly become one of the family. With that said, I would put her to sleep. I know I would be miserable if I was forever itchy, couldn't see, couldn't hear, was in pain, and incontinent. If she were a person, her doctor would have her so medicated, she wouldn't be coherent. Since that isn't an option for you, I think you would be doing her a favor by letting her go. She is probably pretty miserable, and I imagine she is just hanging in there because that is what dogs do. You sound like a wonderful dog mother and that wouldn't change if you put her to sleep.
Kelly, I have to commend you for your rescuing of these dogs because I'm sure this isn't the first and won't be the last dog you have to see suffer like this. It takes a lot of heart and compassion to care for these dogs at the end of their years.Does she still have her good days or does she seem always miserable? It's so hard because she cannot tell you what she's feeling. If I saw her going through this everyday and being miserable I'd probably put her to sleep. This is not because of all the cleaning you need to do but for her own quality of life. It's hard to see anyone suffer like that, no matter if they're human like Tiff's grandfather or a beloved pet. You'll be in my thoughts, Kelly. I'm sure whatever you decide, it'll be the right decision.
Oh Kelly, such a terrible decision. From everyone I know who has had dogs they did put down, they say that when it was time they knew it in their hearts. You sound like your heart is saying to let her go but your mind is guilting you out. I guess it all comes down to, is she still happy?
My heart goes out to you, Kelly, but kudos to you for taking in dogs that might otherwise be consdiered unadoptable. That's always a tough decision. When I've made it in the past I've based it on comfort and appetite and pain level. I think sometimes we keep both humans and animals alive for our own benefit, but it's a very personal decision and the line is not always clear.
Kelly, we have gone both ways in this debate.Our cat Alex lived to be 21 and died at home, in the living room. She did not eat for 3-4 weeks, and did not drink anything the last week of her life. We watched her die pretty slowly, and I think it was hard on my kids. Still, we don't regret letting her die on her own terms.
I've had to euthenize two dogs. Maggie had an incurable brain tumor and was having seizures. I knew by the look in her eyes that she was scared and was ready to be at peace. there's a lot to be told by a dog's eyes.
My Lucy the Chocolate Lab was a crackhouse rescue dog who arrived arthritic, with bad teeth, prone to anxiety. she was a very needy girl and did not like me to be out of her sight. When Lucy started to fall down the stairs when it was time for a walk, I would carry her, but she as afraid and embarrassed. Again, the look in her eyes was what put me over the edge. She was so fearful.
Best of luck Kelly in this difficult decision. If she has lots of anxiety and no joy/zest for life, then that might decide it for you, and for her. Godspeed.
Thank you all for your incredibly kind words and your personal stories. You have all been very helpful. Tiff, the story about your grandmother really resonated. Bun, the technical information really helps, too. All of your stories were touching and helpful. I've had to do this several times now but it always was more black and white: if the dog can't breathe or stand, it's definitely time. This one is just so much less clear cut.A couple of weeks ago Semele was having good days but not anymore. She is definitely on a downhill spiral but I don't know if things could get better. Her skin issues go up and down. If I shaved her again and bathed her every three days her skin might improve somewhat. The vet said it's possible there was a mild kidney infection that didn't show up on the previous tests so we'd have to do more tests to see if that's what's going on. I don't think she actually is incontinent, just that she is confused and can't figure out where she is and just has to go immediately. It's true it isn't urgent, just a "what do we do next" kind of thing. Do we keep doing tests which are scary and stressful for her or do we end her suffering?
That all said, I think it is time to let her go. I'm going to give her a bath tomorrow and keep her through the weekend and then, if things are the same, I'll take her in on Monday.
Thank you all so much for helping me with this decision. It really really helped.
This afternoon I bid a final farewell to my beloved Semele and held her in my arms as she drifted away. Last night she was more uncomfortable than usual, whining for something I couldn't provide and shifting endlessly. That helped me know that I had made the right decision. She even tried to scratch as she was going down. The vet and vet tech were incredibly kind and understanding as I blubbered my way through the procedure. Thank you all for your kindness, your stories, your advice, and your support. You helped me tremendously.
Aww, Kelly. You poor baby. Lucky for me, my vet is really great with older dogs, and she and the tech cried right along with my when we had to put Lucy and Maggie down. It really did help, knowing it was not easy for them either.
My condolences, Kelly. It sounds like you did the right thing.
Kelly wrote: "This afternoon I bid a final farewell to my beloved Semele and held her in my arms as she drifted away. Last night she was more uncomfortable than usual, whining for something I couldn't provide an..."
Poor Kelly, Right decisions are not always the easiest choice. Semele was loved in this final decision too.
W :-)
Poor Kelly, Right decisions are not always the easiest choice. Semele was loved in this final decision too.
W :-)
Kelly, you did the right thing by giving Semele the gift of a peaceful death and an end to her suffering. I had to have my cat Mathilda put to sleep 2 years ago--she was only 5 but had severe cardiomyopathy and pulmonary edema that was no longer responding to medications. The vet had changed her med. regimen and told me to see how she did over the next few days but it was quite clear that she wasn't going to get better. After a long night, during which she struggled at times to breathe, and during which I honestly prayed for her to just go, I took her in. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done but afterwards I felt an incredible sense of peace and well-being. I know it was the correct decision. I still miss her.
Mary, that must have been so hard with her so young. I was so fortunate that Semele had lived a long life. I still feel a twinge of guilt and I imagine will for a long time but I know she is at peace and that it was the right thing to do.
I rescue elderly dogs. Usually they're with me a couple of years before they succumb to something I can't fix. Some of them are in hospice so their medical bills are paid for. Semele is one of these dogs.
Semele is a 15 year old shih tsu/poodle/dachshund mix. She's been with me almost two years and has suffered the entire time from a severe skin problem. She has more hair now than when she arrived but it's thin and wiry and she smells. Lately she has been drinking an excessive amount, two or three cups every few hours, a lot for a dog that weighs 18.5 lbs. and is not an ounce overweight. She eats a lot, too, so her appetite is healthy.
She recently seemed to be urinating a lot so I took her in for tests. She has an elevated cordesol level (whatever that means) but she doesn't have anything serious or deadly. We consulted two different vets, one of whom thought she was dying and the other who says that she doesn't think we need to discuss euthanasia yet.
The owner of the hospice organization has left it up to me to decide what to do. So here's the dilemma:
Semele isn't sick exactly, there's nothing really significantly wrong with her. However, her skin continues to be uncontrollable and she scratches a lot. She's deaf and mostly blind so she can't always figure out where she is and often pees in her bed, sometimes intentionally, sometimes I think in her sleep. Other times she gets up to find the dog door and doesn't always find it and pees in the house. Her bed is right by the computer so whenever I see her wake up and look restless I take her out. Often she comes right back in. I put her out before I go to bed and when I get up and try to remember to take her in the middle of the night, too. But generally she pees inside 2-3 times a day, often in her bed.
For awhile she seemed to be more alert, sitting up and watching the shadows for awhile but now she just sleeps, eats, drinks and pees. She doesn't like to be held except when she first is waking up and I think that's more because she wants to stay asleep and my arms aren't the worst place to sleep.
She doesn't seem to be in pain but she tolerates a lot of discomfort without making much noise when I'm cleaning her skin and eyes. She has some weakness in her back legs so she probably has some muscle deterioration and arthritis.
I don't like how easily we euthanize dogs. We keep humans alive who are brain-dead but we kill dogs just because it's too expensive to pay for a relatively simple procedure.
The hospice woman said it comes down to the quality of life. I'm the one who has the dog, I'm the one who sees her. But this kind of decision is so much harder than if she were having an acute issue and it was obvious she was suffering and nothing we could do. How do I decide if it's time?
I worry that it's too convenient for me to say it's time because it's such a hassle cleaning up so much urine and doing all piles of laundry and waking up to take her out and bathing her so frequently, etc. I'm the first to say I haven't done everything I could. It's overwhelming.
But am I keeping her alive for my own selfish reasons because I feel guilty and don't want to say good-bye? I love her very much and she brings me comfort. I can't hold any of the other dogs in my arms really. I'm the only one she likes and the only one who likes her. (She's not appealing because of the smell we can't get rid of unrelated to the urine.) She's my underdog. I kept my Maybe dog alive until she was bleeding from her gums and I couldn't stop it. When I took her in to the vet they said it was the oldest dog they'd ever seen. Everyone said I let her live too long that she had no quality of life. The situation was similar but she was over 18 years old.
I'm very conflicted. I know you can't make the decision for me but perhaps you can help me see the situation in another way that will help.
If you have read this far, I thank you deeply and welcome your reply.