Ms. J's Class J discussion
Narrative of life of Frederick
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Maharouf
(new)
Jan 07, 2010 08:33AM
generally the slavers were dehumanize by white people their masters .However were courage and still want to learn how to read and write furthermore they still want to have their humanity back for instance they fought back and trying to escape from their masters. therefore frederick escape and went to new york nevertheless he was isolate he miss his fellows slavers , simillary as his other fellow miss him to above all the slavers have confident on each other clearly they care about each other ,and they won't had any discussion with out one fellow missing . truly frderick was worrying taht he will be capture and they will send him back to his masters . learning how to read and write consequentenly let him escape
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Now, there is one thing that made your writing hard for me to read, which is too bad because you used great evidence from the story (going to New York, missing his fellow slaves...) and your vocabulary use was also wonderful. However, you NEED TO CHECK FOR RUN-ON SENTENCES. Here are a couple of examples:
"However were courage and still want to learn how to read and write furthermore they still want to have their humanity back for instance they fought back and trying to escape from their masters."
"herefore frederick escape and went to new york nevertheless he was isolate he miss his fellows slavers , simillary as his other fellow miss him to above all the slavers have confident on each other clearly they care about each other ,and they won't had any discussion with out one fellow missing ."
In each of these sentences you have more than one idea, more than one subject, etc. Just put a period whenever you change from one idea to the next, and your writing will be much clearer.
looking forward to reading your posts today!
- Ms. Justine
