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Weekly Short Stories Contest and Company! discussion
Brainstormin' Help
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Get to Know Your Character(Popcorn Served)
I’m just watching from one of the back-row seats, and am thoroughly enjoying it!
Sara: (glancing up) Was that an explosion?Kyra: Yeah. Either of you know what's going on?
Nikara: Really? There's nearly two hundred and fifty pirates on board, not to mention all the characters. We've been at sea for months, there's a cellar full of rum, and the Cap'n's busy in her room with Frank. What do you think is going on?
I pass Al in the hall, look her in the eye for a brief moment, then keep walking without a word. I head up deck by a different path.Me: Ah, hello Septimus - Temperance. I have a task for y'all.
Temperance: Of course. What is it?
Me: Your jobs. Your very reason for existing. Your d-
Septimus: You need us for a story.
Me: That would be great, yes.
Terry[to Sara, Nikara, and Kyra]: Well, explosion puns aside, what mischief do y'all ladies want to get into today?
Sara: Honeycomb.Nikara: (sighing) Sara, we've possibly just made an incredibly powerful alliance. I think there are far more mischievous endeavors within the scope of our abilities now.
Kyra: More explosions, then?
Nikara: Sounds cool. But, I was thinking even better. Something HUGE, something that'll be told of for years to come.
Kyra: I like where you're going with this.
Sara: A prank on the entire ship? What'll THAT be?
Kyra: I have absolutely no idea. Edward?
Sara: Correct!!! No sign-ups needed! Chat with your character, steal honeycomb with your character, wreck mayhem with your-Nikara: She gets it, Sara.
Kyra: (rolling eyes) Sorry. Lemme introduce the two oddities: these are my book characters, Sara and Nikara.
Nikara: She can read, you know.
Sara: Someone's grumpy today.
Kyra: (sigh)
Terry: Well, I have an idea, but it'll take time to implement. We need a big distraction - something that'll keep everyone on deck for at least twenty minutes. Oh, and I need an expert on the space-time continium.Me: [Looks alarmed.]
Me: I would.Terry: Can I be in that story?
Me: Obviously.
Sara: (gravely) We're all bonkers here, too.Nikki: (snorts) Amen.
Sara: Hey, wait. What's all this stuff about immortality?
Kyra: Distraction? You got it, Edward. Sara?
Sara: Sure. I'll need a barrel, two pitchers of rum, thirty yards of rope, a hairpin, and an apple.
Nikara: And an expert on the space-time continium. Where would they be?
Sara and Kyra: (both stare at Nikara expectantly)
Nikki: What?
Sara and Kyra: (both raise their eyebrows)
Nikki: ...Oh.
Sara: (staring) ...Are you goddesses?Nikara: (sarcastically) Gee, Sara. You finally found your kin.
Sara: I'm serious!!!
Kyra: Lay off her, Nikki. What's up?
Nikki: I dunno. I've been a little out of it today... maybe I'll go tinker in the lab for a little while.
Sara: (tries to suppress horrified look)
Sara: Cool! Who's your mother?Nikara: And... how many sisters do you have? Just the two of you???
Me: That was corn-Terry: Awesome!
Me: ...
A fairly accurate day on board the WSSAl: FRANK!!! Get away from my bras!
Frank You’re too tense. We should just relax this evening...
M: Oh, fair Alison!
Her sweet eyes like the jewels
Adorning the sky!
Sara: Honeycomb!!!
Nikki: (snicker) Careful, girl, or you may get “food poisoning” again. Too many mice, you know.
Guy: (deep philosophical speech on the dangers of poisoning by mice)
Edward: I saw a movie again.
Cheyenne: (invisibly sneaking through the ship)
Edward: It was very good.
Ajay: Loved your story this week, by the way!
Edward: Care to hear about it? I’d give it four stars, but the acting was so...
(explosions rock the ship)
Al: (storms out of cabin) Alright, which of you pirates did it this time?!
(mice are laughing hysterically in the cellar)
Speaking of which, I was up far too late watching "The Adventures of Merlin" ...
Me: It's a good show. Interesting twists.Septimus: Lancalot isn't even a knight.
Me: Like I said, interesting twists.
Septimus: But Lancealot is supposed to be a knight.
Me: Yeah ... and Prince Arthur seems to think of him as one; it's the king who won't allow it.
Alison: (Stepping gingerly down into the sunken tub.) Are my eyes like the jewels adorning the sky? (With a contented expression, she settles herself slowly in the hot water.)M: I didn’t know there were any jewels in the sky. (He picks up the cocktail she had brought him, and takes a sip.) Lucy’s diamonds, maybe. (He looks into her pale-blue eyes, then his gaze helplessly follows the curve of her shoulders.)
(She smiles, her reddish-brown hair hanging down into the water, and moves toward him.)
I am jealous of many of the great dialogues in here. I wish that I could just put together really good stuff. You guys have such a natural way with words.
Detective Mallard: You gotta get a daily habit out of writing.
Me: Uh huh.
Detective: I have to write reports pretty much six days out of the week. I only stop writing on one out of the six cuz I take a personal break.
Me: Yeah.
Detective: If you had a job that kept you writing every day you would probably be good at creating dialogue and stuff.
Me: (Pause. A little scared) And why are you talking to me?
Detective: I don't know. Just trying to get my mind off of a case.
Me: Oh. Well, yeah I heard it's pretty brutal.
Detective: Yeah. I just don't know how to go about it though.
Me: I don't know how you guys go through stuff like that.
Detective: You mean face death and see so many crime scenes?
Me: Yeah. Pretty much that and how you have to force your emotions out of the way and try to focus on the facts.
Detective: Hmm.
Me: "Just the facts, ma'am."
Detective: Why did I think you were going to say that...?
Me: I don't know.
(Detective Mallard nods)
Me: I just thought it was going to be funny.
(Detective is silent)
Me: I ... guess I was wrong.
I think the Detective Mallard dialog is great, CJ! A straight character is indispensible in circumstances where it’s impossible for the reader to know what to make of other characters or of the situation. The straight characters are the flat ones that are always the same. In my shipboard scenarios, the straight characters are the mice.
M wrote: "I think the Detective Mallard dialog is great, CJ! A straight character is indispensible in circumstances where it’s impossible for the reader to know what to make of other characters or of the sit..."Thanks M! This character has officially "debuted" on this site as I have been wanting to put him into a story but I just don't know how to form his story just yet. He has a tragic backstory set up but I just don't know how I am going to put the plot into an actual piece yet. I hope I can really work him into an interesting character and this thread seems to be the best place to start! I am still trying to flesh him out.
(Several mice are scouting for crumbs in the dining hall. Breakfast is over, and from the galley there’s the sound of dishes being washed, and of girls laughing and talking.)Mouse #3: (Under the long trestle table, nibbling on a piece of muffin.) That old sunken tub has been getting some use.
Mouse #9: (Sniffing a chocolate-covered espresso bean.) Can you imagine? (He flicks it aside in disgust.) A sunken tub on a pirate ship.
Mouse #2: (Holding a fragment of toast.) I think Dom Langouste had it installed back in the days when this was a treasure ship.
Mouse #6: (Nodding.) Everyone’s heard the tales of Langouste and Homard and their women. (His whiskers twitch.) If that tub could talk . . .
(There’s a burst of laughter from the galley. Alex’s voice says, “CJ can put away the hash browns.” Kyra’s voice adds, “Did you see the mess M made on his plate?” Stephanie’s voice says, “I could smell the Tabasco sauce all the way down at my end of the table.”)
Mouse #17: (Rubbing some smelly lotion all over Barney.) If you hadn’t gotten eaten by that cat, none of us would be having to put up with this.(Barney’s ears droop in shame.)
Mouse #15: Cora, he’s lucky he survived! (Shakes her head.) Imagine, talking to your brother that way. It could have happened to any of us!
Mouse #12: (Handing Cora a small brush.) And Ralph has become a very good friend to us. He was the one who found that ring in the sunken tub and brought it to show us.
Mouse #15: (A look of disgust on her face.) Rita, why did you have to bring that up? It’s digraceful how the humans on this ship conduct themselves!
Mouse #6: (Peering in through the hole in the wall.) Are you talking about the goings on in the sunken tub?
Mouse #13: (Giving him a stern look.) Malcolm, this is a women-only gathering.
Mouse #6: (Raising his eyebrows.) What about Barney?
Mouse #15: He’s different.
(Barney’s ears droop lower.)
Mouse #12: (To Malcolm.) Off with you, you anthropomorphized mouse!
Mouse #6: (Taken aback.) Rita, I think you’ve been reading too many of Guy’s stories.
LoL! RotFL! M, absolutely hilarious! Thank you for a great start to my day.
Oh, M! Funny and brilliant as usual! XD
Sara: (glancing at Kyra) I don't like the book you're reading.Kyra: (sighing) Of course you don't.
Sara: It's a love-at-first-sight novel. I never understood those.
Nikki: You alright, Kyra? You look depressed.
Kyra: I've got some bad news... remember my old muse? Faith?
Nikki: Faith? How could we forget her? She caused even more trouble than Sara over there!
Sara: I mean, one second they don't even know each other, and the next they're in love? I never quite got the concept.
Kyra: Well, she's showing up again.
Nikki: (stunned) I... I thought you got rid of her.
Kyra: Not really. Her character just split... you and Sara each have half her personality.
Nikki: You know, I think I remember that. So, are we splitting again?
Sara: It seems kind of ill-advised, too... like you're basing your entire opinion of someone off of just their appearance. Nothing good can come out of falling for someone just because they're pretty.
Kyra: Not really. Some of her character must've been left over... I have new characters popping up all over the place.
Nikki: Maybe you're just having a lot of bursts of inspiration?
Kyra: Maybe... but they're such troublemakers. I can't get anything done around here, what with them screaming in my head at every opportunity.
Nikki: Hm... That does kinda sound like Faith. Anything we can do?
Sara: I suppose it's just something you need to experience to really understand. The problem is, I've fallen in love twice already, and neither was at first sight. So I'm probably bias.
Kyra: I'm trying to write them into some stories. Maybe I can wear them out, and they'll just stay quiet for a while.
Nikki: (nodding) That sounds like a good plan.
Sara: (looking up at the other two) What do you two think?
Nikara and Kyra: (confused) What?
Kyra: GAH!!! (throws hands up in surrender) I can't take this anymore! I'm getting nothing done!!!Sara: Just go outside and kick the soccer ball around a little. Writing can wait for a little while.
Kyra: What if I forget what I was going to write? That happened last time. I just need to focus!!!
Sara: (snort) If you're writing my stupid romance scene with Aaron, it can wait, trust me. Just go vent.
Kyra: Fine... (goes outside)
Nikara: (clucking her tongue) Poor girl.
Sara: (shooting Nikki a concerned glance) Poor ALL of us. Do you really think we're splitting again?
Nikara: Nah... I think it's just a minor nuisance. A lot of characters come and go around here, but only the main ones stick around. It'll be over in a day or two.
Asyla: What?
Sara: AAHH!!! (jumps and whirls around) Who the heck are you?!?!?!
Asyla: (confused) I am Asyla. Kyra created me...
Nikara: (groaning) Lemme guess. You're new.
Asyla: (nodding) Yes. (glancing around) Why am I on a pirate ship? I am supposed to be with my sister...
Sara: Wait... sister? There's more of you?!
Nikara: Sara, don't be mean.
Asyla: (clutching bow and reaching for arrow)
Sara: (flings knife and severs the bowstring in half) Oh, no you don't! I'M the archer of the family!!!
Nikki: Sara, Calm down! She's confused!!!
Sara: (trying to calm down) Where'd she come from, anyways?
Asyla: (growing angry) I hail from the Second Realm.
Nikara: (confused) What?
Asyla: (frustrated) The Second Realm of the Forest! I am the Chief Arichi!
Sara: (blinks) Um... Oka-ay...
Asyla: (groans) I am from Kyra's new novel.
Nikara: (holding up a finger) Wait. You mean Kyra meant to create you?
Asyla: (nodding)
Sara: (glances as Nikara warily) We need to talk with Kyra. Now.
No, it wasn't. But I appreciate it... thanks. XD
Nikara: Hey, Kyra? You back here?Kyra: Hm? (glances up at Nikki) Oh, hey. I was reading.
Nikara: Oh. (shuffles her feet briefly) Well... I hate to interrupt, but...
Sara: (storms into the room, gripping Asyla by the elbow) Kyra, why didn't you tell us you made another main character?!
Kyra: (scowls and leans back) I didn't. She popped up last night, so I thought I'd use her. She is a lot like you two, though, so I think she might have some Faith in her.
Asyla: (struggling in Sara's grip) Unhand me, you fiend!!!
Nikara: (raising an eyebrow) The resemblance is uncanny.
Kyra: (shrugging) It's not a full-on book, anyways. Yes, she is a main character, but she won't stick around for long... just long enough to get a few chapters done, and then she'll be off.
Asyla: (freezing) But... then where will I go?
Nikara: (shrugging) She'll keep you, of course. But you'll likely find refuge in the darker crevices of her mind, where all the other outcast characters go.
Kyra: (frowning) I treat my characters a little better than that, Nikara.
Sara: (throws her hands up) Whatever. As long as she does't stick around. (glares at Aslya, than storms out again)
Asyla: (rubbing her elbow)(glancing around warily) Why does that girl hate me? And where is my sister? Why are we on a ship?
Kyra: (throws Nikara a look) That's... a long story.
Nikara: (sighing)(showing Asyla to the door) C'mon. Let's go get you a bath or something... you'll need it.
Frank and Alex are always funny! I appreciate their conversations. The only thing I don't like about Frank is . . . well. . . I don't want to get into it.Detective Mallard: Should I be concerned?
Me: What? Well what I have heard I have only heard from stories.
Detective Mallard: Uh huh. What do you mean? Elaborate.
Me: I don't want to get into it. I literally mean I only heard from stories. Read "The Crazies."
Detective: I am too busy right now. I am only talking to you to just try to get away from it all right now.
Me: Oh okay. That's alright.
Detective: Uh huh.
Me: I was just making conversation. You don't have to investigate everything you know.
Detective: Right. I guess.
Me: You gotta stop jumping all over what I say sometimes.
Detective: Okay.
Me: And leave Frank out of it.
Detective: Okay. Fine I guess. I will for now.
(I pause and then smirk about the thought in my head)
Me: Just. . . get off his "case."
Detective: Oh you mean like a criminal case or something.
Me: You got it!
(Detective pauses)
Me: My jokes are still not funny, huh. . .?
Terry: I just opened a new door belowdeck -Temperance: A new door?
Terry: Yeah - haven't y'all noticed that new decks and wards and rooms just appear on this boat sometimes?
Septimus: No ...
Terry: Anyway, I opened one of those -
Temperance: Aren't you supposed to be working a story right now? Both of you?
Septimus: The coffee-addict is still trying to decide if he wants to finish that short story or edit something else.
Terry: Yeah, he need to edit our first adventure together - and there's no need for that look.
Septimus: *dark glare at nothing in particular*
Terry: It's not that bad of a story. Well, maybe after he fixes it up a bit. A lot.
Septimus: I know it's a half-way decent story, but Terrance (view spoiler), Dante (view spoiler), the antagonist (view spoiler), and we (view spoiler). Basically, no one wins!
Terry: How do you hide your voice like that?
Temperance: Actually sounds like a pretty good story.
Septimus: Better in theory than on paper. He doesn't even have a mid-story twist. We pretty much stand around talking until violent things happen at the end.
Terry: Hey, I got beat up three times before the climax!
Temperance: Why do you sound proud of this fact?
Terry: Because I'm a guy.
Septimus [simultaneously]: Because he's a guy.
Temperance: *shakes her head* Now, what were you talking about, Terry?
Terry: *blinks* I dunno. Didn't you start this conversation?
I liked Sara's irrelevant musings in #1808.
Asyla: Thank you for showing me around. I appreciate the gesture... Nikara, is it?Nikara: That's right. (pushing open kitchen door) This is the kitchen. Great for stealing foodstuffs, although I prefer Al's cabin, because she's the only one with honeycomb. See that porthole window? That's where you sneak in. It's usually unlocked, because that's where the crew throws the garbage out when they're lazy.
Asyla: Very interesting. I shall put that to use. (pause) ...Nikara? Why does Sara hate me?
Nikara: (shrugging)(closing door) She's the newest character around here, next to her boyfriend Aaron. A lot of minor characters come and go, but we haven't had a main character stay with us in over two years. Guess she's just not happy with being the middle character.
Asyla: (shrugging) I... don't have much intention to stay, anyways. There's nothing for her to worry about.
Nikara: (smiling) Well, you're welcome to stay.
Asyla: (returning the smile) Thank you. But, if you don't mind me asking... why don't you hate me?
Nikara: (snorting) Please. I'm Kyra's oldest character. I've been around here for seven years, a LOT longer than any of the others she's made. I've gotten used to it.
Asyla: Do you think my sister is here?
Nikara: (nodding) She's definitely here somewhere. But it's a big ship. It could take some time to find her.
(screams erupt from the deck)
Asyla: Lyla!!! (sprints up the stairs)
Sara: (rounding the corner) Hey, was that Asyla?
Nikara: (dashing after the new character) Yeah! C'mon, we can't let her get away!
Sara: (sighing)(trudging after) Naturally.
(On the deck, chaos has broken out. Barrels and crates are smashed, their contents scattered. The masts are lined with knives, and there's a large number of crewmembers lying unconscious on the deck.)Asyla: ...She was here.
Nikara: Your sister?
Aslya: (nods)
Sara: (groaning) Great. A second one. Terrific.
Nikara: (glares at Sara) I'm gonna help the crew recover. You're the tracker, you find out where her sister went.
Asyla: She's my sister! I'm perfectly capable of-
Sara: (inspecting the knives in the mast) Huh. She's ambidextrous. Not bad. (Glances at crates) And experienced with a spear, apparently. Those crates were pried apart with a shaft, not bludgeoned to death with a mace or a fist.
Asyla: (regarding Sara with something closer to respect) Yes, she is both ambidextrous and handy with a spear. But you missed the grapes over there. (Nods towards what used to be a stack of grapes) those were stepped in after the crate was destroyed.
Sara: (slightly peeved) Yes, I was just getting to that. She headed in the general direction of the cellar, so we can assume that's where she is now.
Nikara: (moving back to the couple) Alright, I think the crew's fine. You two find a lead?
Sara: Yeah. The cellar. Careful, though. She has a spear and a couple of knives.
Nikara: (sighs) Naturally. (Surveys the destruction of the deck dejectedly) Well, one way or another, we'll have to find her sister, I suppose. Cap'n won't be happy...
Al, that was brilliant! Hilarious as usual.Poor Frank, though...
Me: *sigh*Temperance: This is your own fault, you know.
Me: Yeah, I know.
Terry: What's his fault? Other than bad D&D plots, a psychotic social circle, his own poor education -
Me: Annoying characters who tell terrible jokes.
Terry: Oh, come on, we all know you love me.
Me: Only because you're subconsciously based on my father.
Terry: Your father isn't blonde, born in North Carolina, an only child, or have ties to criminal elements.
Me: You were on a roll until that last one.
Terry: Wha-
Temperance: Terry, you're letting him distract you from your question.
Me: Oh, thanks for that. Who are you based off of, then? I don't know anyone that ... interfering ... Oh, dear.
Terry: Now I want know about that.
Temperance: I don't. Tell Terry why you're depressed.
Me: Oh, all right. I'm editing my first novel -
Terry: Oh, yeah, that was totally your fault. Who writes such a depressing story for their first novel? You have straight-forward hero characters trapped in a Greek tragedy with a dash of modern nihilism thrown in. How many characters did you kill?
Me: Including the random bystanders the Abomination killed with telekenisis, but not counting that mass grave Terrance showed you ... at least five and a half.
Temperance: And a half?
Me: Well, one of them didn't have -
Terry: Spoilers!
Kyra: (poking head into cellar) Hel-lo-o? Anyone home?Sara: This is nuts. Just let Asyla poke around for her sister and let's go.
Asyla: (holding up a hand) Wait. (Pause) Does anyone else feel that?
Nikara: Feel what?
Sara: Annoyed? Yes. C'mon, we're missing out on deck.
Asyla: (squints into the shadows)(gasps, rushes forward) Sister!
Lyla: Asyla! (Materializes from the darkness) I have been searching for you. What are you doing with these outsiders?
Sara: (scoffing) Sure. We're the outsiders, not the two archers from Middle Earth.
Nikara: (glaring) Play it nice, Sara.
Kyra: (whispering) They're already fading. I can see them blurring around the edges. They can't be here for more than a few days.
Sara: Well, that's a relief.
Lyla: (clearly wrapping up her story of her recent endeavors on board) And then I found the cargo hold, only to be hounded from it by a pack of drinker mice! Did you ever hear such a thing, Asyla! Even in the Forest, I'm fairly certain the mice never talked or drank. Such a bizarre ship and crew this is!
Sara: (scowling) If they think that we're odd, then we must be seriously screwed up.
Kyra: This thread has died.Sara: I think it's our fault.
Nikara: I wanna read Al's Valentine's Day popcorn!!!
Kyra: Why is it our fault?
Sara: Well, more accurately, it's your fault. You shouldn't have let Asyla on board.
Kyra: Uh, yeah, about that... she may not be quite as hyperactive, but she's still technically here.
Asyla: I'm standing right here, guys.
Nikara: Is Al's popcorn really that dirty? I mean, we've heard worse.
Sara: Never underestimate the power of Al's dirty writing, Nikara. It's some pretty powerful stuff.
Terry: The Writer has been neglecting us.Me: Hey, I worked on Demon of Decay yesterday.
Terry: Editing. There's no fun in that. Besides, you fixated on the freak's storyline.
Septimus: Is it bad that I, too, am curious about Al's Valentine's Day popcorn.
Temperance: Yes.
Me: I wasn't concerned about the Abomination; I was bothered by the guy he tortured!
Sara: Oh, Terry, I feel for you. Kyra hasn't written any of my actual story in two months.Nikara: (sharply) She worked on yours that recently?!
Asyla: Well, when did she last write yours?
Nikara: Five months. She wrote on yours only last week, right?
Asyla: I don't think that really counted. She only added, like, three sentences.
Kyra: (sneaking away, before her characters can mutiny)
M, you killed our captain. I th-think ... do we hang you for mutiny or make you our new captain?Terry: New captain!
Septimus: Hang him.
Temperance: Leave him stranded on an island and make Stephanie the new captain.
Me: And that is why your name is Temperance.
Terry: So who's Putman on the first page?Me: [silent]
Huh? We weren't going to hang him by the neck. That's just barbaric. We were going to hang him by his ankles over the side of the ship and then cut the rope.While in harbor, of course. We wouldn't want his to bang his head against the side of the ship.
[On deck, end of sunrise.]
Temperance: I wonder if we'll make landfall today.
Septimus: That would be a relief.
Temperance: Too crowded here?
Septimus: [silent confirmation]
Temperance: Well, it can't be too--
[Explosion, followed by a spectactular splash of water.]
Temperance: Ah.
Septimus: Urgh.
[Below deck]
Terry: Did y'all hear something?