Weekly Short Stories Contest and Company! discussion
Brainstormin' Help
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Get to Know Your Character(Popcorn Served)
Nightshade: Hey, Aaron, check out the move on this page!Aaron: (backpedaling) Nuh-uh, I'm good!!!
Nightshade: Oh, don't be such a baby. It's just a page.
Aaron: (grudgingly) ...Okay. (creeping over cautiously) Where is it?
Nightshade: (slams Aaron into table, pulling him into a choke hold and placing her palm on the back of his neck) See, this is the easiest position to snap someone's neck in. Cool, huh?
Kyra: (making a beeline for the exit) I'm gonna check on Bennu.
Nikara+Sara: (scurrying after her) Wait, we're coming, too!!!
Me: Whoa! Derik what is wrong with you?Derik: *grinning* Hey, that wouldn't have lasted half as long if Sidra could've just stopped herself.
Pricilla: You are arrogant. And a jerk.
Derik: You know, just because you've changed your name doesn't mean you can act like you never kissed me.
Pricilla: I hate you.
Me: Hey that's a good next line now that you're finished. Geez, I wasn't sure when you were going to stop kissing him. What's wrong with you? You barely knew him!
Pricilla: *hiding a blush* I do not need my actions analyzed by the likes of you. Just go write so I can finally punch this insufferable-
Derik: *grinning evily* You know you liked it.
Nikara: I feel for Pricilla.Bennu: (sprinting up) Oh, thank God, you guys found me! Nightshade wants me back up at the library, and I can't come up with a good excuse for ditching her.
Kyra: No need. She's occupied with Aaron.
Bennu: What! Oh, poor guy...
Sara: (glancing behind her at library) Hey, maybe we should go back for him...
Nikara: (grabbing Sara's arm and pulling her down street away from library) Oh, no we're not.
Albert: Next time you need to buy OFF.Me: Why? The bugs didn't bother me. Did they bother you?
Albert: No, but they bothered you when they tried to fly up your bad ear. *raises eyebrow* I know how much you hate it when your bad ear is touched.
Me: Yeah . . .
Albert: And you shouldn't walk for so long. You get out of breath. The least you could do is bring your inha--
Me: Albert.
Albert: --ler. And you know sleeping on the couch makes your joints sore. And then you go wa--
Me: Albert.
Albert: --lking even more. If you're not careful you'll drive yourself into the ground. And you don't even eat enough! You can't go walking un--
Me: Albert!
Albert: --til midnight and then ignore your hip the next day to go out walking again. At least you didn't try going up Hill Top Drive more than on--
Me: ALBERT!!!!
Albert: *pauses* What?
Me: I've done perfectly fine for sixteen years haven't I? I'm whole. I'm not damaged.
Albert: Not damaged? Well I could argue--
Me: Albert! Hush, I'm trying to work here.
Albert: On goodreads? Fat chance.
LOL!!! Wait... you have a bad ear? In what way? You mean, you don't hear as well from it or something?
Pricilla: *trying not to look pleased* I do not need anyone to feel for me.Me: *rolls eyes* You're impossible.
Derik: Don't worry, Nikara, she's happy you're on your side. I, however, am not.
Me: Of course you aren't you're the villain.
Pricilla: I remember the days of living with a nagger.
Me: As I recall, you ran away from yours.
Pricilla: One of the best decisions I made at the time.
Yup. I've failed every hearing test I've taken since I was five. I believe in another thread I told the story of it, but here it is:When I was five and failed my first hearing test, it was discovered that I had a hole in my eardrum. My doctors waited until I was eight to try a surgery. They shaved the hair above my ear and used skin from there to patch the hole. The surgery failed, hole came back. They tried again, using skin from above my ear again. Surgery failed again. The last one I had was when I was nine, and that time they used fat tissue from my bellybutton. Yet again the surgery failed and the hole came back. So now I've got a scar above my left ear (it's hidden by my hair which grew back, but you can feel it), several scars around my bellybutton (they did an odd job of cutting out fat tissue there), and lots of scar tissue in my left eardrum, and a hole that was never fixed. I have conductive hearing loss, which is when the nerve is perfectly fine but the eardrum is damaged. All I need is for the volume to be turned up. Which is why I listen to music on my headphones really loud (or so other people tell me, I for one don't think it's loud).
Ah. Albert knows to shut his mouth when I've got a hearing test. I hate them. It's like your teacher giving you the same vocab test every single day when she knows you'll get a big fat F on it.
Me: Oh. I'm really sorry, Cheyenne.Sara: You write in me getting kidnapped, drugged, almost dying, getting abducted again, almost dying, like, twenty more times, and you're sorry that she has an ear problem.
Nikara: (slapping Sara) You take that back!!! I feel sorry for her.
Kyra: Yeah, that's the point of me creating you, Sara. To get to make you almost die, like, a billion times. Besides, unlike Cheyenne's ear problem, you kind of asked for it.
Sara: Well, THAT is just MEAN. I'm outta here!!!
Nikara: Finally.
Albert: Don't feel sorry for her. She uses it to her advantage.Me: ALBERT! I do not.
Albert: Oh? It isn't using it to your advantage when you turn your bad ear to people when they're saying boring things?
Me: No. It's self preservation. If I listened to them I'd go mad.
Albert: Well I'm glad you can justify your rudeness.
Me: Oh just shut up.
LOL you should see my tan line. Leftover from a carwash the beginning of sophomore year. I wore a spaghetti strapped tank top, and a bra that criss-crossed at the back. BAD DECISION. The tan lines on my back look like this |X|
Albert: It was a good suggestion.Me: Don't you dare encourage him.
Albert: Oh, he doesn't need encouraging.
Nikara: (whooping)(fist pump) Go Al!!!!!!Kyra: That was a lovely little scene. And Al? Post 976 does not qualify as PG13 in the LEAST.
Sara: It kind of does. She didn't ACTUALLY lay out in the sun naked with Frank. If she did...
Kyra: You guys are disgusting!!!
Bennu: Aaron's back.
Aaron: (bruised up)(barely standing, staggering forwards) Someone... someone help me!
Sara: (catching his shoulder) Nightshade did THAT to you? Did you listen to my private self-defense lessons at ALL???
Aaron: They didn't work. She's coming...
Everyone: (screaming and running, leaving Aaron alone again) AAAAGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Albert: She forgot to make him a sandwich? How horrible!Me: Albert, shut up.
Albert: What? You don't agree?
Me:..... Sometimes I think you're truly hopeless.
Albert: And others you think I'm truly not?
Me: Who said anything about you ever not being hopeless?
Albert: Today is the first time we've written a story in a long time. *playing with rock*Me: I know. *sitting on his stomach*
Albert: Your dreams are rather odd.
Me: I'm rather odd.
Albert: That makes two of us. You know dreams normally mean something?
Me: Yes. But what could that one have meant?
Albert: *sits up, knocking me on the floor by accident* Sorry.
Me: Ouch.
Albert: I think it means you're fighting hard for something.
Me: *tilting head thoughtfully* What would that be?
Albert: I don't know.
Me: *sighing* Well you're the one with all the brains.
Albert: Please keep in mind that my knowledge is limited to yours.
Me: Hm. I bet it was YOUR dream.
Albert: *scoffs* Do you know how delusional you are sometimes?
Me: Sometimes I think I'm delusional all the time.
Albert: That's not true. *pauses* Well... it kind of is.
Kyra: I LIVE in delusions.Sara: You'd have to, to keep company like us.
Albert: Trust me, Cheyenne does too. Sometimes her delusions are all that keep her sane.Me: ALBERT! You make it sound like I belong in a mental hospital.
Albert: You make it sound like you don't know anyone who's been in a mental hospital.
Me: HEY. That's confidential information.
Albert: *scoffs* If your mother was in your head for even an hour she'd send you to the mental hospital.
Me: Only because she'd meet you and think I'm crazy for keeping you around!
Albert: *looking hurt* That was not a very nice thing to say.
Me: I'm not a very nice person.
Albert: *laughs* I know. Do you know how many men you've driven away with your mean comments?
Me: Uhm.... A lot.
Albert: *laughs again* Yeah.
Me: *looks away and glares at the ground*
Sara: Hey, now, Albert. Few tips on being a muse; you've got to insult your charge frequently, but not enough to make them distance themselves from you. That way, you can inflict even more damage!!!Kyra: I can think of plenty of reasons for not keeping you around. I just don't want to send you away in fear that I'll lose track of you, and you'll sneak off to some remote part of my mind where you can literally force me into a mental institution.
Sara: That's an irrational fear. I can do THAT just fine from where I am now.
Albert: I beg your pardon? I take pride in comforting Cheyenne.Me: Oh, please.
Albert: *turning away* That is why I named myself Albert.
Me: If you continue on with why you named yourself Albert I'll shove a pair of chopsticks down your throat.
Albert: Fine. I didn't want to tell the story anyway.
Terry: I'm here!Me [grabs Terry by the face from behind and drags him out]
Me: See, be glad I'm not that violent with you.Albert: Oh, and threatening to impale my airway with chopsticks isn't violent?
Me: Let the record show that is not what I threatened to do.
Albert: Let the record show that you still threatened me.
Me: Let the record show that I didn't act on my threat.
Albert: Yet.
Me: Are you testing me?
Albert: Of course I am.
Terry: Okay, we've worked out our differences. What are we discussing?Me: Muses mentally disturbing their vessels.
Terry: Oh. Hey, speaking of disembodied personalities causing mental trauma, the Abomination in After Dark -
Me: Terry, if you ruin the end of the book, the sequel will revolve entirely around your past, starting with what happened in the fifth grade.
Terry: Woah ... I didn't realize you could be that scary.
Me: You live in my mind. I created the Abomination, remember? I created Ang Li and Edasi.
Terry: That does mean- wait, I thought Ang Li was a good guy.
Me: Er ... he is?
Terry: Why is that a question?
Albert: Shouldn't you be sleeping?Me: Shouldn't you be not bothering me? Wasn't that a condition of you getting to vote on the poem this week?
Albert: I don't remember...
Me: Me neither.
Albert: ..... Didn't you document this somewhere?! Go check.
Me: Why would I do that when I can waste my time on google maps looking at places I used to live?
Albert:..... You really need a life.
Me: *scoffs* I have a life.
Albert: I bet you aren't doing anything outside of the house for a week.
Me: Actually I have my first drive lesson on sunday.
Albert: *claps hands* Ooooooooooh I get to drive?!
Me: NO you most certainly do not get to drive. Considering you have no control over my body.
Albert: That's debatable.
Me: *holds up chopsticks meaningfully* You were saying?
I'm not sure where else to post this but I think it's funny and I want to share. First person: Erica, four years old, comes up to my hip, light brown hair, bright blue eyes. Second person: me.Erica: *walks into room* Hello, what would you like to order? *holding a pencil and a paper pad*
Me: *looking up from laptop and observing her inquisitive eyebrows* Ummmm. *clears throat* I'll have noodles with chicken and--
Erica: *sighs loudly* We make hamburgers here!
Me: Erm. Well okay then, I'll have a cheeseburger with bacon and green tea.
Erica: *scribbles on notepad* Okay! Coming right up. *leaves the room and comes back with a sheet of paper with fridge magnets piled on top* Here's everything you ordered!
Me: *smiling at the magnets* Well thank you.
Erica: *lingering by the bed* What do tigers eat?
Me: Uh, meat?
Erica: *thumps the giant stuffed tiger on my bed impatiently* What does THIS tiger eat?
Me: Meat.
Erica: Okay! Coming right up. *she leaves the room and comes back with more magnets, then shoves them under the tigers nose and mutters* NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM!!
Oooh. Gears are turning for a story this time. The one that is happening now. . . Summer Festival. . . I don't know if I should put a thing on here about it. . . I think it would be too silly. Lol.
This thread is all about silly!! Why do you think I just posted a comment about my four year old niece pretending to be a waitress?? Lol. Tell me I'm not the only one who thinks her attempt at tiger-eating-noises was funny? She literally said "NOM NOM NOM NOM"
Me: Hello Jake.Jake just sits there.
Me: Uhh. . . hello?
Jake still has a blank face.
Me: Oh yeah I know why. . . you haven't officially been put onto a story yet.
Jake: Yeah pretty much. . .
Me: Okay. . . well I will now give you someone you have a crush on. . . somebody that is very loosely based on someone else. . . more fiction than real though. . . and her name shall be . . . Amy.
Amy: Hiya!
Me: AHHH!
Amy smiles.
Me: Wow. That was fast.
Amy: Hi Jake.
Jake: Oh. . . uh, hi Amy.
Me: Now if only I can find a location for you guys.
Jake: Uh. . . hey. . . you. . . storyteller?
Me: Yeah. . .
Jake: We're at a carnival.
Me: A CARNIVAL?! What are you talking abou---?
(I get hit by a giant swinging sarcophagus...)
Sara: That's kinda creepy. Hey, Kyra, can you do that rapid-fire character-create thing?Kyra: Of course I can. How do you think you came to live?
Sara: Ouch.
Nikara: That Erica sounds like such a darling!!! I hafta meet her.
Kyra: (snort) Good luck with THAT.
Sara: Given the fact that you rare a fictional character and Erica is real, and add that to the fact that you don't even live in the same state, I'd say your chances of meeting her are...
Nikara: Ye-es?
Sara: Zero.
Nikara: (sigh) You hafta ruin everything, don't you?
Nikara: AHA!!! We DO live in the same state!!!Sara: Hm? Cheyenne lives in California?
Nikara: I think so.
Sara: That doesn't mean her cousin does, necessarily.
Nikara: True, but the odds are higher.
Sara: The odds are still zero.
Nikara: Oh, come ON!!! How about a point-oh-one percent chance?
Sara: (snort) If even.
Nikara: Spoil sport.
Hahaha, yes I live in California in a household of seven which includes my niece (not cousin).
Kyra, what part of Cali do you live? Nor Cal, or what?
Yeah, northern CA. Kinda near San Fran.
I like it up there. It's a few hours away from me.
I LOOOVE Sacramento!!! I went there with my Girl Scout troop once in fifth grade. And again on a family road trip later. XD It's a very sophisticated city.
Hold on, give me a moment. I have to stop laughing.
Muse: Carol used to lived in Sacramento, didn’t she?M: Carol has a habit of living in bohemian places.
Muse: (Shaking her head.) You think the whole state is like Los Angeles.
M: Let’s just say I don’t think there are a lot of starchy conservatives within a hundred miles of the La Brea Tar Pits.
Muse: Not everybody on the West Coast lives in Southern California.
M: I think Cheyenne lives on a yacht in San Diego and keeps a quarter of a million in personal checking.
Muse: So you think she escapes to Sacramento to get away from the San Diego weather . . .
M: (Puzzled.) How far could it be?
Muse: (Smirking.) Oh, just a short drive. There are a couple of small towns to go through--you know, like L.A. She probably takes the scenic route up Highway 1. That adds fifteen or twenty minutes.
M: I think you’re having fun with me.
Muse: (Running her fingers through her beautiful, rosewood-colored hair.) Maybe I’m in the mood for some fun.
M: (Grumbles.) I’d better go make more coffee.
Muse: (Smiles, yawns, and stretches languorously.) I’ll be waiting . . .
M: (Trudging toward the galley.) Why couldn’t I have had a muse who’s dumber than I am?
Muse: (Arching an eyebrow, she turns to the reader.) Do I look like a blonde?
(M is scooping coffee. There’s a tapping at the sliding door. It’s Maud, an eccentric, middle-aged artist who lives in a cabin up the hill.)M: (Opening the door.) Morning, Maud! Come in.
Maud: Can’t stay. (She holds out a small bag.) I just picked these. I know how you like tomatoes. (She smiles.) These are perfectly ripe.
M: You grow the best tomatoes, Maud. (Taking them gratefully.) Thanks. I’m making some coffee. Sure you won’t stay for some?
Maud: No, I’ve got a deadline to meet.
M: A deadline?
Maud: (Nods.) Illustrations. Another children’s book. How are your stories coming?
M: (With frustration.) Seems all my muse wants to do is get cozy.
Maud: (Adjusting her glasses.) There are a lot of writers who wish they had your problem. You just keep her happy.
M: (Shaking his head.) The things I do for the women in my life.
Maud: What’s the topic for this week?
M: (Blank.) I don’t remember. (Laughs.) I hardly ever write to the topic anyway. I’m not good at that sort of thing.
Muse: (Peeking out from the doorway to the hall.) Hello, Maud! (Her dark hair hangs down over her bare shoulders.)
Maud: Well, hello there, honey. (Momentarily at a loss for words.) I always like a girl who doesn’t overdress.
Muse: (Smiles.) I’m appropriately dressed for the occasion.
(M starts coughing. He sets the tomatoes on the counter.)
Maud: (Winks at M, then waves.) Bye, now! (She walks off, along the winding drive.)
(M watches Maud for a moment, closes the sliding door, then glances in agitation across the living room to the girl who is waiting in the door to the hall. She returns his glance with long, dark lashes and big eyes, her beautiful fingers on the doorframe.)
M: (Mumbles to himself.) I was doing something. What was it? (Seeing the open coffee can, with an air of resignation, he puts the lid on it.) Oh, well. (He heads for the hall door, muttering to himself about responsibilities.)
M wrote: "Muse: Carol used to lived in Sacramento, didn’t she?M: Carol has a habit of living in bohemian places.
Muse: (Shaking her head.) You think the whole state is like Los Angeles.
M: Let’s just say I ..."
LOL. Well considering I'm in California and I'm a country girl at heart.... and I had a farm as a child... :p Yeah there ARE rural areas here. And... San Diego is farther from here than LA. And LA is like 8 hours away from here.
I wish I lived on a yacht. I live in the heart of the ghetto.... Lol
Okay, here's a scene to "Get to know" my character. I don't know how it ends ...Terry was getting beat up again. A gargantuan fist formed a nest his his stomach, sending his tiny form flying back into a brick wall while another thug walked up to whip a police batan across his face. Terry rolled away from the wild asault and simultaneously tried to remember the last time the county cops carried batans.
A badly judged kick scraped his shin, and he decided he could wait until later to figure that particular bit of information out.
People talked about Terry Wrixon. In a small town, that was like saying they drank water from time to time, but he had become such an increasingly frustrating enigma that days would often go by without the citizens of Moorboro talking about anything else. The boy was clearly deranged, getting into fights twice a week, wandering into the wrong side of town for now apparant reason, and even creating improvised weapons in his bedroom all because ... what they couldn't imagine.
Terry, who managed to block the next several attacks, thought their ignorance was hilarious.
Had he merely been some sort of rebel, his actions would've just been fodder for when other subjects became worn from use. But he wasn't just some hooligan; he was Moorboro High's only straight A student.
Terry finally managed to retaliate landing a basic punch on the biggest thug's chest. Far from being a finishing blow of awesome power, the blonde sophmore's fist seemed to simply bounce off the big man's chest.
Ah, was the only thought Terry would remember having in that moment.
A dozen punches later, some weak, some solid, and Terry was just a huddled mass against the wall, all fight gone out of him. One of the thugs stepped forward, breathing heavily.
"I've had enough of these ..."
"Transgressions?" Terry suggested weakly.
"Yeah ... that. From you." Terry doubted that he realized how incoherent he was. "Now, I'm going to make sure you remember to stay away."
He pulled a knife, prompting a sudden gasp. Not from Terry. From a girl who had stood, watching the whole event from the corner of the empty building Terry now bled against.
Terry wiped a trickle of blood from his eyes and looked carefully at this newcomer. He recognized her, vaguely, as someone from school. Evelyn Sparrow?
(To be continued)
Great writing, Edward, as usual! Reading it was like watching it on a movie screen.Cheyenne, I’ve never been to California. I’ve merely heard about it. My brother-in-law used to be stationed in San Diego. He said it was usually fair and 72 degrees. I have cousins who lived in L.A. My uncle used to live at Marina del Rey. Carol Daring (I’ll give her the name she has in my stories) lived in Sacramento until about three years ago. She loved it. She said the weather was beautiful, and so was the countryside. She often visited and mentioned a place called Benicia.
The weather is beautiful... but moody. When summer finally comes we get about a month of switching from rainy to sunny. That's usually the period of time when everyone gets sick. I like the country, and the cities are okay. I would never live in a city though. And the only time I've been to San Diego was in the dead of summer, it was HOT. I've been to LA both in winter and summer. The last time I was there it almost rained. (That was April)
Oh, and if you ever visit I don't recommend Sacramento be one of your objectives. It isn't anything special. It really kind of sucks. Ione however is a nice place to visit. The town is really small and really old. I love it
The people I’ve talked to who have lived in California seem to have really liked it or really disliked it. That interests me about it. It seems to be the kind of place you either really like or really don’t.
Yeah. I guess I'm one of the rarities that are in the middle. There are some things I love about California, and some things I hate about it. If I didn't live in Sacramento I'd probably like Cali a lot more.
I mostly disliked it (California). I lived where it was always cloudy and never raining. If it just rained, I would've been so happy, but the constant cloud combined with the lack of rain is just depressing.I'll have to finish the piece later; I'm about to enter a meeting.
Nightshade: (looking up from stack of books) Hm?
Nikara: (walking up to table Nightshade's seated at) Where's Bennu?
Nightshade: Not sure. (flips page in book) He mentioned going for a walk though. Say, does anyone else here think we should tell Al about Frank seeing M's muse?
Sara: She probably already knows. Why did Bennu come to the library with you?
Nightshade: I insisted. He didn't mind.
Sara: He didn't mind coming to the library.
Nightshade: Yup.
Sara: Bennu.
Nightshade: I'm serious!!!
Aaron: (browsing Nightshade's stack of book selections) These are all books on martial arts.
Nightshade: I take karate and tae-kwon-do, what'd you think? I was reading up on unicorns? Bennu was supposed to be my assistant, that's all.
Nikara: You mean your punching bag?
Sara: Geez, no wonder he left.