Axis Mundi X discussion
note: This topic has been closed to new comments.
Closed for the Winter
>
What do you find appealing?
message 101:
by
Lori
(new)
Apr 27, 2008 11:31PM
What's weird is that I now find older men very attractive. Not elderly, 50s, early 60s. Alittle gray. But that's a good thing, since I'm older myself! They've got life experience etched in their faces. I don't need a washboard abdomen, or ripped physique, altho being in somewhat decent shape is important. I've always looked at hands, not into manicured hands on a man at all, more worker-like. But the eyes say it all. Humor and kindness. I do like a full mouth on a man, too, nice to kiss.
reply
|
flag
Mod
i like taller men. i've always had a thing for distinguished, roman type noses for some reason (think adrien brody). i've always liked men who are fairly lean and lanky, with striking eyes and facial features (the kind that aren't quite pretty, but could be if you look long enough). i like it when guys put a little thought into how they look, but not so much they out-girl me (i've dated a metrosexual before; it's really not terribly fun after awhile, and it's a lot of pressure for an only just barely girly girl). i like people who look like they could be completely silly with me, but who would also take me seriously. guys who like animals (at least cats) are also VERY attractive to me. the only deal breakers though, as far as i'm concerned, are insecure machismo, disrespect of anyone (although especially me) and stubborn ignorance.
I don't think I have a physical type. I have been engaged 5 times and married once and none of them are anything alike!
1) Relatively short for a guy, my age, blond hair, blue eyes, slightly chubby and into Punk / Tattoos etc...
2) Relatively short for a guy, my age, big brown doey eyes, brown hair, athletic build with tree trunk, soccer player legs and into Church / Ice Hockey etc...
3) Very tall (to me - 6'4"), 12 years older than me, brown hair, blue eyes, bit of a beer gut...but otherwise average and into Neil Young / Rainbow Gatherings / Raising Rattlesnakes etc...
4) Tall-ish (6' - 6'1" or so), 3 years younger than me, blond hair, blue eyes, thin...like really thin and into Black / Being Moody / Drinking / Music / Art / Lit etc...(oh, and he was gay, er, well, he still is.)
5) Tall-ish 6', 6 mo. younger, brown hair, brown eyes, generally athletic to average and into Church / Rugby / DIY and anything that made him look, feel or be superior. I married that one.
So, you see, since I loved them all in their own way...I honestly don't think that I have a physical type. Basically, if you open your mouth and you are dumb or irritating, you haven't got a chance. If I like you, if you are interesting and/or funny, smart...you've got a shot. After that, it's about passion, if you've got the heat, then you'll light my fire. Hair pulling is good! Sometimes a girl just wants to be slammed up against the wall and taken, screw the nice guy bullshit!
Have I said too much?
1) Relatively short for a guy, my age, blond hair, blue eyes, slightly chubby and into Punk / Tattoos etc...
2) Relatively short for a guy, my age, big brown doey eyes, brown hair, athletic build with tree trunk, soccer player legs and into Church / Ice Hockey etc...
3) Very tall (to me - 6'4"), 12 years older than me, brown hair, blue eyes, bit of a beer gut...but otherwise average and into Neil Young / Rainbow Gatherings / Raising Rattlesnakes etc...
4) Tall-ish (6' - 6'1" or so), 3 years younger than me, blond hair, blue eyes, thin...like really thin and into Black / Being Moody / Drinking / Music / Art / Lit etc...(oh, and he was gay, er, well, he still is.)
5) Tall-ish 6', 6 mo. younger, brown hair, brown eyes, generally athletic to average and into Church / Rugby / DIY and anything that made him look, feel or be superior. I married that one.
So, you see, since I loved them all in their own way...I honestly don't think that I have a physical type. Basically, if you open your mouth and you are dumb or irritating, you haven't got a chance. If I like you, if you are interesting and/or funny, smart...you've got a shot. After that, it's about passion, if you've got the heat, then you'll light my fire. Hair pulling is good! Sometimes a girl just wants to be slammed up against the wall and taken, screw the nice guy bullshit!
Have I said too much?
"Sometimes a girl just wants to be slammed up against the wall and taken..."Yowza, that's HOT!!!!!!
I date personality. No, really. And sometimes that has worked out really badly for me, resulting in what my friends like to call, "pity dating," because "oh, but they're so nice/smart/whatever!" ... despite the fact that I'm obviously not attracted to them. I haven't done this recently, but it was a strong habit of mine. I think I just didn't want to be considered shallow, that combined with my insecurity in thinking boys who were attractive in any way wouldn't want to date me/I wouldn't have anything in common with an attractive person- yes, I was very snobby towards good looking people. Thought they would all be shallow and full of themselves and with no interests beyond sex, drinking and hair. I guess that means I was shallow in my own way. :)Anyways, like I said, I don't do that anymore. I mean, if you were to ask me purely about looks, I'd say gimme the Colin Firth/Hugh Grant lookalikes. But the first time I saw my current boyfriend, the butterflies, they went aflapping in my stomach and he looks nothing like them except I suppose his hair is brown. So yeah, for me- I can tell you objectively what I find attractive, but what will inspire me to actually /want/ someone? That's different, and elusive. I think its better that I don't pin it down, entirely.
Amy, I'm with you on the hair pulling. Me likey. Me likey very much. Rawr.
Interesting ... the slam up against the wall reference, not to mention the hair pulling, all raises a question that I think we men struggle with...(When I say we men, I mean those of us raised to be "sensitive" ---dorks, in other words ... Well, OK, maybe just me) ...
Anyway, the question is:
What pleasure is there for women (or anybody, I guess) in "being taken"?
Mind you, I'm only asking on behalf of a friend of mine. Meanwhile, I must go re-spackle ...
I dunno, Kirk. It has to be done right. It can't be done in a mean or threatening way, at least, not for me. But when the passion and heat are really intense, it can be great. I think some women enjoy knowing they inspire that kind of passion.
The hard part is figuring out when women want to "be taken" and when they want something else.But figuring out is fun, usually.
Part of being good in bed is being able to pick up on your partner's cues.
Mod
But please allow me to emphasize: TRUST CONSENSUAL SAFE WORDS TRUST
There is nothing erotic about being raped.
Sure. I didn't mean that in a violent way. I meant what Sarah said. I tend to watch the eyes.
Mod
I thought that's what the English language was for (and, well, other languages too... not to appear Anglocentric or anything). You know, communicating.
Great. How long are you two going to yell at me for this?
It's so much more than just the eyes, though, although that's part of it. It's also how they respond. Moaning and arching of back usually means they're into whatever it is you're doing.Charissa, I think you probably like it a little rougher than I do. I'm not into the bondage or spanking but a little hair pulling and up-against-a-wall action is great.
Mod
No spankings, please! I don't mean hair pulling until some comes out... It shouldn't hurt, just enough to be a little cavemanesque. And, as far as bondage goes, I'll tie you up if you want, but my appendages stay free, thank you!
Mod
Right, not too violent, just a little tug.
Well, I only ask because I think it's something men don't necessarily appreciate until we're challenged to discover the deeper emotional intimacy and responsibilities of trust with our partners. We are raised as men "to get," and that doesn't foster much concern for others' vulnerability. Unfortunately we usually have to learn by hurting somebody---and I mean emotionally, not physically.
Mod
Mod
Wasn't there just a study showing that men's cologne was a turnoff for women?
I dunno, Kirk. I don't know how men are raised or what they think. I can only speak from my experience (which is pretty limited)..
All right. I'm shutting up and getting out the Hi Karate.
Depends on the cologne. My Henry can wear some pretty amazing cologne! I'm with you Mimi!!
OK, so, back to the non-bedroom stuff.I also like a man who can sing, and if he can dance (and is striaght) it's another plus. Of course, my husband can sorta sing, and can't dance at all. But he's a talented actor.
James Marsden is another one who does it for me.
That's hot Donna! What guy doesn't like a girl with snot running down her face?
I agree with the singing thing Sarah. I once dated this Irish guy who perpetuated the Irish Leprechaun stereotype. Short, tiny in proportion, not so cute, a little weaselly to be honest, but the man could sing! I lay on the couch with my head in his lap and make him sing to me endlessly. It made him infinitely more desirable!
I agree with the singing thing Sarah. I once dated this Irish guy who perpetuated the Irish Leprechaun stereotype. Short, tiny in proportion, not so cute, a little weaselly to be honest, but the man could sing! I lay on the couch with my head in his lap and make him sing to me endlessly. It made him infinitely more desirable!
Mod
Tapping is okay Nick...just a tap though.
I love cologne as well, not too over-powering and it must be clearly masculine, not that unisex stuff, please ;o)
Un-appealing...girlie hands! I don't care how hot the guy, how great he smells, how clever he might be. He could be the master of tantric sex gods...but if he has girlie hands, NO THANK YOU! I want callouses, scars, rough, manly hands...and no long nails guys. Long nails on a guy are just gross!
I have a friend who's being stalked with The Guy With the Freakishly Small Hands. His hands aren't girlie, necessarily. They're just little boyish.
Mod
Mod
Have I mentioned that my husband is a pianist, with long, agile fingers?
Mod
A pianist and a cunning linguist? Wow.
Mod
Mod
Just kidding, Does he BBQ?
Mod
He cooks, I clean up the kitchen, I think it's fair enough.
I love cheese enchiladas. That's what I always order from crappy Mexican.
Mod
I'll bet it is. Yet another reason I love California.
Mod
Chris makes good guacamole, too. And he's tall. He looks like a cross between Dr. Drew Pinsky and Clinton Kelly on What Not to Wear.
Mod
Only straight, right? Because Clinton's pretty much gay.But Chris sounds amazing. Well done, you!
This topic has been frozen by the moderator. No new comments can be posted.
