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New Moon Review and Rant
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Wow...I didn't read all of that, I don't have enough time (YET) but of what I read...Wow. Just..
Wow.
As a matter of fact, SweetSacrifice, I am planning to read the rest of the saga. I'm already on page 125 of Eclipse. It's strange that I'm going through these books so fast, not because they're particularly good but because I'm having so much fun writing these reviews. :)
You're a critic!! Go!! Become old(er, if you are like twenty or so) and go be a critic. Hehe, that is just wrong, poor Jacob, he's the rubber ball, thing or whatever it is. I thought Bella just walked in a forest forever and ever... and then she almost died.Hasn't she been dumped before?
Nice review. :)I agree, Jacob is the one redeeming character in the series. He gets awful in Breaking Dawn, though.
Rose wrote: "Hasn't she been dumped before? "If you're talking about Bella- apparently not. In Twilight, she says that she's never had a boyfriend before. Then Eddiekins gets all shocked and wonders why. She says she doesn't know.
IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE A WHINY PESSIMIST WHO COULDN'T SEE SENSE IF HER LIFE DEPENDED ON IT, IDIOT!
*ahem* Just saying.
Wait, SMeyer confused me, and you confused me too Shade. If she's never had a boyfriend before because she's a whiny pessimist, then why did five guys have a crush on her at the end of the second chapter?
Nice one, Wolfy.(Nickname! Now you have one! Yea!)
Rose wrote: "Wait, SMeyer confused me, and you confused me too Shade. If she's never had a boyfriend before because she's a whiny pessimist, then why did five guys have a crush on her at the end of the second c..."New nickname! WOO *fistpump* ;D
And that, Rose, is what we call Really Bad Plot Planning. :P Seriously, who does this? "Oh, I've never had a boyfriend before! No guy has ever liked me! Oh, now I'm in a new town and every guy in the entire school is falling all over me!" Um, NO.
And SilverWolf, can I just call you Silver? I'm laaaazy with nicknames. ;)
Also, I agree entirely! That's totally what they are! But you forgot to add desperate and pathetic to the list :)
She is! Tell me, Shade, if some guy told you he was a vampire, and he thirsted painfully for your blood, what would you do?
God I hated New Moon. So much unecessary ness. And Jacob had to go get screwed. He was the best character. UGH!
I know! Then he got really bad in the later books, like when he put his mark on Renesme (I spelled it wrong, I know).
Heh. WIN. :DAlso, when he imprinted it was like "Geez, I thought you were cool! Now you've thrown away your jetpack and ENTIRE LIFE to fall in love with a two-year-old!" Creepy.
Rose wrote: "She is! Tell me, Shade, if some guy told you he was a vampire, and he thirsted painfully for your blood, what would you do?"Scream "OH MY GOSH HE'S GONNA EAT ME YOU GUYS," kick him in the soft spot, and call the cops. :D
I'd slap him across the face, scream "You're weird!" and move back to Arizona.
Ooh, good idea about the moving-back-to-Arizona thing. Although actually, I'd rather live in CA. :)
Well, how is she supposed to get to CA?? She probably doesn't even know where it is.
Ha. ;) I was saying what I'd do personally, if that happened to me. But thankfully, that hasn't happened, so for now, I'm good. :D
Yeah, what a releif.... so glad. So far everyone I know is not a werewolf or vampire.
Same here!Although once I was walking in the school hallways when suddenly I hear my friend screaming "OH!! SO YOU'RE A VAMPIRE, TOO?!"
I still don't know why he said that, or what he was even talking about. o.O
I dropped my fork when you said that... now I have to get a new one.... didja ask him about it.
First of all, someone asked me in the topic "My Observations" to give my thoughts on Jacob Black (though I'm too into this at the moment and too damn lazy to go back and see who it was; you know who you are). Jacob is one of the only characters in this series I actually like. He's a warm, loving, forgiving person. He just might be the one redeeming quality this series has. In all honesty, I was actually enjoying the story (or at least the portions he was in), and I was thinking to myself "Hey, maybe I've been too hasty about this Twilight hating thing".
Boy, I sure wish I hadn't done that. With one swipe of her claw, Meyer transformed Jake into a typical Twilight character: violent, overly dramatic, and full of angst. What was the deal with that? Did she look back through her manuscript one day and go "Oh, no, this character doesn't have enough issues for this series. He should be a pissed off werewolf"? Well done, you hag.
The rest of the story was typical Meyer nonsense. Bella bleeds in front of the Cullens and destroys her own birthday party, so Edward dumps her and runs away to South America. This leads to Bella spending the remaining chapters clutching at her chest and trying to induce hallucinations. Her antics include standing in the middle of the street, learning (poorly) to ride a motorcyle, and jumping off a cliff. Yes, she jumped off a cliff. I was hoping for jagged rocks at the bottom that would cut her to shreds, but alas.
In a move that infuriates me still, she decides that since she can't have Edward, Jacob will have to do. She clings to him, spends a great deal of time earning his trust and affections, then drops him like a filthy rag the minute the Cullens come back. This causes him a great deal of unnecessary pain and torment.
Bella eventually tries to make amends for this in the epilogue, but of course it's far too late by then. Jake refuses to be friends with her anymore, and who can really blame him? It certainly didn't help that she took her pet vampire Edward along with her. What the hell kind of sorry attempt at reconciliation was that?
He deserved better than this, if only because he was adding something positive to what is proving to be a mediocre saga (at best).
I was almost tempted to give Meyer bonus points for Victoria. This time around, she didn't just introduce a villain at the last minute. We knew this character from the previous novel. Oh, wait. Where was Victoria? She was mentioned and built up through a good portion of the story as the main antagonist, only to be replaced by the Volturi at the end. Instead of the confrontation the reader comes to expect, Edward mistakenly gets the idea due to a phone conversation with Jake that Bella is dead. He ought to know at this point in the series that none of us could be that lucky. Overcome with grief, he decides to anger a council of Italian vampires who feast upon tourists by exposing himself. Don't get excited, aspiring Twi-tards, I don't mean it like that.
Bella and Alice go rushing off to Italy to keep him from stepping into the sun. That's all. That was the whole climax of the story. It was kinda like this:
Bella: -in slow motion- "Edward, noooooooo!"
Edward: "Wow, I really must be in hell, because I see Bella."
Bella: "Edward, don't expose yourself!"
Edward: "Why? Did you want to go first?"
And as for Victoria? Well, your guess is as good as mine. A passing remark is made that she fled from the Forks area and that her scent vanished. I guess that means that she'll probably resurface at some point later in the series after the reader has forgotten about her, because Meyer has this uncanny ability to get off-topic.
I'll give this book a 3 out of 10 because of Jacob. I still hold out high hopes for him, most of which will probably be dashed. Meyer will probably have him locked up in the city pound by the end of the series.
-Ben