Joys and concerns

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

I will be seeing the specialist on Monday, 12/10. Same one I saw for my other eye and he is THE person to see, so in good hands, yet scared.

[Paul]

Comfort and huggies to you my dear, dear friend.

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

Thank you. I will let all of you know what happens as soon as I can.

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

In case anyone gives a rip, I'm fine.

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

My aunt Pat is not doing well and I ask for your thoughts and prayers. She is my grandma's last sibling. All of the in-laws are gone as well. She has been in nursing home for over a year now, after living in assisted living for a few years. I am asking for enough time for grandma to get in her goodbyes and for my aunt to go quietly into that goodnight.

[Paul]

Thoughts, love and energy heading out my dear. BIG huggies

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

My grandma got her goodbyes in on Thursday afternoon, and Aunt Pat passed late that evening. She will be celebrated on Monday.

[Paul]

My condolences dear friend. Huggies.

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

Thank you.

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

As of Saturday, April 27, Aaron's landlord (whom he has had for only 1 year) put the building up for sale yet again. Many of you may recall that the building went up 2 years ago, one week after Aaron's open heart surgery. Well, this coming Sunday, May 5 will mark two years for that and this Wednesday will mark one year since his lease started. Convenient isn't it? No notice can be given by tenants to move out and they will be there until a new owner takes over. Any new owner will have to keep the lease as is until it expires, unless they want to condemn and tear it down, then they must give 90 days notice. Aaron cannot afford more than what he pays now and in order to stay with the low-cost clinic we are a part of, he must not move into the city of Cleveland or he will lose his care. He cannot afford what is offered via his work, so you can see our situation.

On a higher note, we became mouse parents again after losing our remaining two at Christmas. We now welcome a dulche de leche colored girl named Dusty (as in Springfield), a gray and white girl called Pogo (she has a possum face of half gray and white) and Tatianna, a light brown,(kinda like a ferret brown) girl to our lives.

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

We lost Pogo last night and Tatianna is showing signs of following her.

Dusty seems o.k.

With all of my other stress, I am so numb I can't even cry right now.

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

Tatianna is hanging in there. I will know more later today.

[Narzain, The Minister of Awesome]

Tatiana is doing fine; she's favoring one paw, and isn't as steady on the ladders as she was, but she's active and eating. Dusty is also fine, and has been a wonderful sister to Tatiana, keeping her warm and comfortable while she was sick.

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

Tati has a relapse last night and we are preparing for the not so great outcome.

[Narzain, The Minister of Awesome]

And in a cruel twist of fate, we lost Tatiana last night. One week to the day after losing Pogo. When I got home, she was laying very still, partly on her side in the entrance to their plastic igloo, and her eyes were closed. I tried blowing on her to rouse her, but only disturbed Dusty, who was sleeping next to her. I went to get the supplies to remove her, but then she drew two deep breaths. At the time I thought she was letting me know she was still holding on. Now I think they were her last breaths. I checked on her just before bed, and she was gone.

Dusty seems mostly okay, if a bit lost and shell-shocked. She was always the most skittish and standoffish of the three, though she will take crackers from me by now.

I am not dealing with this terribly well right now.

[Paul]

I am so sorry to hear about the loss. Much comfort to you my friend.

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

I am too numb to cry yet. I am going to purchase a companion for Dusty today after I go swimming and rid myself of some of this stress. Narzain is still recovering from whatever he had last week and this has been weighing on us as we have been holding a collective breath.

[Narzain, The Minister of Awesome]

Dusty's new roommate, Endora, is absolutely adorable! Alas, she is also an escape artist. This morning I found her sitting on top of the cage; she got out, but couldn't get back in to where the food and water live. Fortunately, she is not shy about being handled, and let me pick her right up and put her back inside. Hopefully this experience "scared her straight," so I don't have to wonder where she'll be whenever I leave the room...

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

I know it's not funny, but it is.

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

Dusty passed yesterday and Endora seems fine, so I will be obtaining a companion or two today.

[Narzain, The Minister of Awesome]

We now have a total of three mice, and a story. So, yesterday Kim went back to the pet store where she got Endora (who were supposed to be getting more female mice in on Friday) to get her a new roommate. Well, they meant NEXT Friday, sorry. So, option two, the store nearest my place, where she got a nice-looking mouse. What neither she nor the store employee could tell at the time was, that one was a boy. Apparently he was tense & spraying that unique boy-mouse musk on the drive, and his little nuts were a little more obvious then. Oops. Easy mistake.

Not wanting to circle back around, she went to another shop nearer to her place, where she found two adorable girls: Esmerelda, an all chinchilla-grey cutie, and Serena, a study in black and white. They stayed at Kim's place until I came by after work. Then they moved in with Endora, and hit it off immediately. They also started climbing the walls immediately; two ninja mice in the house!

What happened to the errant boy, you ask? We took him back this morning, with many apologies and declarations that he didn't do anything wrong, we just can't have a boy mouse. We're trying NOT to go into the baby mouse business. They took him back no problem; I last saw him heading for the igloo in the store's display cage.

All's (hopefully) well that ends well. Our three girls are active (and staying inside the cage). Perhaps de-stressing can now commence? One hopes.

Any errors in relating this story are all mine, and I apologize on behalf of my brain.

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

We are excited about the ninja mouse thing,as it is fun to watch them climb. As of Friday evening, the two newbies were climbing upside down. (By the way, Narzain you did a great job of relating what happened.)

I knew something wasn't right when the smell started in the car. I haven't smelled that since Etoille and Sol so I knew that that meant! Unpleasant is one word for it.

On Saturday, while we were at the library, my contact lens was irritating my left eye. I went to remove it, and could not find it. My eye was still bothering me, so I thought my contact had migrated to above and or behind my eyeball. I'm panicking,thinking I need to go to the ER and have my eye flushed out. It was on the desk. It blended in with the desk. They are lightly tinted to bee seen when you drop one, except the desk is the same color as the tint. So, there I am, with only one eye to see with, trying to type.

Not good.

Thankfully, I wear disposable ones, and have backups. We were close to my house and it was quickly fixed.

Sheesh!

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

Miss Endora is indeed an escape artist. She has gotten loose 3 times this wee, twice in one hour while Narzain was there to catch her. Not in the actual act, but close. The cage is now clamped,covered with parts from the old cage and things have been removed from inside the cage that may have provided leverage for Miss Tiny Henie. Come on growth spurt!

[Narzain, The Minister of Awesome]

The precautions seem to be adequate, as Miss Endora has since stayed inside the cage. Now if I can just get her and Esmerelda to stop fussing at each other...

Serena just stays out of those arguments. Smart girl.

[Narzain, The Minister of Awesome]

SAD AND EMOTIONAL POST ALERT





This morning was a sad one, as it saw the loss of our Endora. Just after 7 am, I went by the cage and offered goldfish crackers (the treat of choice) to the girls. Serena and Esmerelda took theirs, but Endora was laying on the second level of the cage with her legs hanging through the bars, not responding. I reached in and supported her legs; she moved over to the side of the cage and lay back down. Within a few minutes, she took two deep breaths which I think were her last.

I took her out and held her for nearly a half hour, looking for any sign of breathing, but she was gone. This hit me hard, as I have become very attached to the cute little escape artist. I don't know if she had a sudden illness (she was fine last night), or if one of her escapes had somehow damaged her inside, and it caught up to her this morning. She did not seem to be in pain, thank goodness.

I think what hits me the most is the fact that she always came back to me. Always. Except this time.

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

BRAGGING "AUNT" TIME!

My "niece" Leigh graduated on Tuesday. My "niece" graduated 7th in her class of a 100+ (it's a HUGE Catholic High School), wore 5 honor cords, 2 tassels (one honors the other her school), was awarded 2 Presidential letters for Excellence, was one of 5 students inducted into the Academic Hall of Fame, and was the only student awarded the Medal of Educational Excellence by the Sister of Notre Dame.

If I wore buttons, they would be bursting!

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

My grandma was admitted into the hospital yesterday. Since Monday she has had shortness of breath and swollen legs (she refused to give up playing cards Monday and Tuesday so she told my mom "let's wait and see). Mom took her to Urgent Care and they in turn called her cardiologist after running and EKG. He had her admitted. They feel it is heart failure of some type. As far as I know, as of last night, she will be fine and should be able to come home today or tomorrow. The added stress right now is that the particular hospital in question does not have a good family history as grandma lost 2 siblings there and this is also where my dad died.

The nursing home/assisted living/home health care aid discussion is up and running.

I am shell shocked, scared and barely holding it together.

[Narzain, The Minister of Awesome]

As should be obvious, I'm here for you. Anytime, anyplace.

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

Thank you.

Update: I talked to her cardiologist yesterday. A combination of things are going on. Age is a factor to ALL of this. She has internal bleeding, which we know, but they don't know where. To do the exploratory surgery may cause more harm, and it also nay not be fixable. She has a clogged minor artery (again, we knew this) and now has A-Fib. and related heart failure. The treatment of blood thinners will exacerbate the bleeding, and the milder ones will not prevent stroke. She should be released in a few days and should be able to go to physical rehab before coming home, but for how long she will be home, I don't know.

I fear that I will not have her much longer and I am not ready for this, not yet, not now.

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

She is going in a rehab facility today, the same one she was in last time. She said that she doesn't want to be alone anymore, so assisted living or a home aide will be the end result here. It's still very scary and nerve racking.

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

Rehab transfer was delayed until today. Yesterday we were told that grandma has a bad heart valve. This morning she was transferred to I.C.U. She is full of water. They said she is comfortable.

I can't stop crying.

At least the last thing I said to her was "I love you."

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

We are in a holding pattern now. Yesterday, I went out to see her in the afternoon and said my good-byes and let her go. By the time we left,her blood pressure was back up, she had eaten most of her dinner and was watching television. She has been designated as comfort care (which is a fancy name for hospice style) as she has a DNR. The facility that was supposed to handle her rehab said that since we are in the system already, that they can place her in their comfort care location should she need to be moved.

I told her I loved her before I left and she said, " I love you too."

Now I'm numb and crying.

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

This will be one of my last updates for a while. As of yesterday, grandma was sitting in a chair eating breakfast when mom arrived. She will be moved today to the same facility she was originally supposed to go to on Tuesday. How long she will remain there I don't know. They may move her to another place as needed. She is officially in hospice care now.

On Tuesday, she told the nurse, " I want to die. Let me die. Unplug me." She is and was not on anything except oxygen. She said "Let me die." again while I was there, and yesterday she told her cardiologist that she was "ready to meet her maker."

I know she's tired and she has earned this, but I am hoping that she can make it to 96 next month and then slip away quietly.

Selfish I know, but still it would be nice.

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

I got a job. I will start on Tuesday, and will work 2 days per week (Tues. and Thurs.). I will have 3 children 2 girls and 1 boy (in that order) 6,3,8 months. It is still sinking in.

[Narzain, The Minister of Awesome]

Most excellent! In case I haven't already mentioned, I'm very proud of you!

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

The job fell through, I gained 5 pounds and a med student made me cry yesterday.

I am very likely to do a mile tomorrow.

[Narzain, The Minister of Awesome]

Burn out that aggravation, and play in the pool!

[Paul]

I am scared now. Very scared. There was a savage gay bashing on my street Saturday night. A gang of about 20 young thug punks beat one gay man. Police were called at least three times in the hour before the attack as the gang was milling around on the street, t-shirts pulled up to cover some of their faces, and trying to get into the bar on the corner. Of course, it being a gay bar, they naturally didn't bother to come out until someone was hurt badly. There is currently a cop car across the street from us, hopefully they are actually investigating.

I so want to move.

[Narzain, The Minister of Awesome]

You be careful, man.

It just sickens me what these young idiots are doing these days, just because they're "bored." Learn to read, fools, then you'll have something to occupy your time! Grr.

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

......

just too stunned.

[Paul]

I know I am an old fart, and rarely go out after dark. Never thought I would be grateful for that!

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

I stand by stunned. I cannot fathom WHAT in the world has gotten into people lately. I am so saddened by what our species has become....

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

I'm a day early, but I would like to ask for happy thoughts tomorrow as my grandma turns 96.

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

O.K. gang, this is hard, so please bear with me. I have been sitting on this for a week now because I didn't want to say anything until I saw the doctor yesterday.

I have to make the appointment today, but I have to go in for a mammogram and ultra sound because I found a lump in my right breast.

Last Monday, I was supposed to be getting dressed and as is typical, I started to entertain myself by playing with my boobs. Yes,guys,we women to in fact play with them. I was playing "droopy boobs" where I lift them up to where they are supposed to be and let them drop down. I felt something. This lead to my performing my monthly exam which I was going to do later in the week anyway. Since I was at Narzain's I had him see if he felt it too. He did.

I was able to find it every day in the same spot, so I told the doctor yesterday. He felt it too. He said that I am fibrous in this area and he is not panicked, but feels that we should have a picture of it.

So there we go.

I will keep you all posted as soon as I know what is what.

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

I go in today at 2:00 p.m. Fingers crossed.

[Paul]

Energies sent

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

I want to thank all of you who prayed and sent energies.

I am happy to report that I am 100% fine.

*whew!*

[Paul]

YYYAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Narzain, The Minister of Awesome]

The relief and joy in the room are palpable. And it's quite possible that the lab techs will get cookies.

[Kim, Wild-eyed Bibliomaniac]

Um, more likely than not.....