Nothing But Reading Challenges discussion
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Yesteryear
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Yesteryear, by Caro Claire Burke - July BOM - (start 15 July 2026)
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Date Chapters MPDQs
15 July 1-8 Lexi
16 July 9-22 Catherine
17 July 23-34 Midu
18 July 35-47 Imke
19 July 48-end Angie
Guidance for DQ setters
Aim for a reasonable number of questions: 4 - 5 is typical. Please don't post too many - any more than 7 gets unwieldy!
Use consecutive numbering of the DQs for your days. So, for example, if Day One is posted as questions 1-4, Day Two should start at number 5 etc.
Don't worry too much about your questions: you aren't being tested on how clever your questions are!
Hints and tips:
- Is there a quote that jumped out at you? Use that in a question.
- What about the characters - do they generate strong feelings? No feelings? - either way, we can explore that!
- What about that plot twist?!
- Explore the writing style: is there an unusual structure being used? what's the tone of voice like? or the point of view?
Want more information about how NBRC runs their Book of the Month discussions? Check out the information here
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Catherine - extra entry
Midu - Pico de Orizaba
Imke - Ben Nevis
Angie - Sinai
Brittany - Olympus
Catherine - Aoraki
MelanieJoy - extra entry
Angie (extra entry)
MelanieJoe - Elbus
Teddie - Kinabalu
Melissa - Drakensberg Ampitheatre
Timestamp: 2026-07-13 05:55:56 UTC
(view spoiler)
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You don't need to be particiating in the team challenge to participate in the BOM.
If you are in the team challenge, please note your team name when volunteering.
Where we have more volunteers than DQ days;
>If we have more than one volunteer from the same team, only one team entry will go into the randomiser to be selected to write DQs. (the other volunteers will be 'back ups')
>The nominator of the BOM is automatically assigned a DQ day
DQ volunteers are randomised around 3 days before the start date of the BOM. Please confirm your participation if you are selected. We reserve the right to go to the next person in the list if we don't hear from you
Volunteering for DQs - Team SinaiCould I also use an extra entry, please?
Volunteering for DQs - Team Ben Nevis
I'll go backup for Imke (Ben Nevis)
Reporting for duty for Pico de Orizaba
Volunteering as backup for Team Pico de Orizaba.
Volunteering for Team Olympus
Volunteering for Drakensberg Ampitheatre!
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Volunteering (as back up) for MelanieJoy --- Elbrus!
Volunteering for Elbrus!Can I use an extra entry? Do I have any?
Volunteering for Aoraki with a bonus entry.
I'm in for DQs - Team Kinabalu
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Can I use an extra entry? Do I have any?"
Yes and after this you still have 2 extras
Sinai is good with the last day.
Day 1 DQs: Part 1 – Chap 8 1. Have you heard of this book before starting it for the BOM? It seems to have become immensely popular since I nominated it, as it is the longest hold I have ever seen at the library. Why do you think it is so popular right now?
2. We are introduced to Natalie and her current life as an influencer in the first section. She says she is “perfect at being alive.” How much do you think she believes her own production of her life versus knowing it is staged?
3. Natalie wakes up to find herself in what appears to be the 1850s with a new husband and family. What details that really stood out to you about the shift in the people? What about the material and items?
4. Finally, this section shifts back and forth between the 1850s setting and Natalie’s time in college. Also, Harvard has a massive income disparity issue which is seen here and how do you think that influenced her time there? (Older article but still relevant: https://www.harvardmagazine.com/2017/...). Also allowing for cultural differences, do you think she would have had a different life trajectory had she gone to a different school?
Day 1 DQs: Part 1 – Chap 81. Have you heard of this book before starting it for the BOM? It seems to have become immensely popular since I nominated it, as it is the longest hold I have ever seen at the library. Why do you think it is so popular right now?
It is being used as a book club read everywhere. I actually live in the state -Utah where the popular Ballerina Farms trad wife lives. I think a lot of people want to see how the book plays out this controversial matter.
2. We are introduced to Natalie and her current life as an influencer in the first section. She says she is “perfect at being alive.” How much do you think she believes her own production of her life versus knowing it is staged?
She's mostly delusional at this point in her life. Always performing begore just living.
3. Natalie wakes up to find herself in what appears to be the 1850s with a new husband and family. What details that really stood out to you about the shift in the people? What about the material and items?
I was lost at first on what was going on because of course I went into this read blind. So, I did read the Goodreads info and was no longer confused, But, ya everything has changed.
4. Finally, this section shifts back and forth between the 1850s setting and Natalie’s time in college. Also, Harvard has a massive income disparity issue which is seen here and how do you think that influenced her time there? (Older article but still relevant: https://www.harvardmagazine.com/2017/...). Also allowing for cultural differences, do you think she would have had a different life trajectory had she gone to a different school?
Definitely a different life, but probably still some form of a trad wife. Just not as intense. I think her husband will push for this life more.
Day 2 DQs: Chapters 9-225. Natalie is becoming more aware of the differences by the work that needs to be done and her new husbands' treatment. She also finds a camera piece on the ground. If this is all fake, what do you think is the purpose of this being a "reality" type show?
6. Natalie is letting herself go a bit and her MIL tells her to shower and leaves a pill for her. What are your thoughts on this scene?
7. Natalie was very against her husband being a teacher and had strong opinions of how that was more a woman's role. How offended were you on this comment or do you agree? Do you feel women should be the ones raising the kids, cleaning and cooking while the husband goes to work?
Mod
1. Have you heard of this book before starting it for the BOM? It seems to have become immensely popular since I nominated it, as it is the longest hold I have ever seen at the library. Why do you think it is so popular right now?
Yes I had seen a lot of media about it and friends talking about it. I think it has hit that perfect mix of people being curious about trad-wives and also showing that an influencer's life is not real life.
2. We are introduced to Natalie and her current life as an influencer in the first section. She says she is “perfect at being alive.” How much do you think she believes her own production of her life versus knowing it is staged?
I feel like she knows it is a production, but she is ok with that being "her life"/ A few quotes in this section like:
“I felt an intoxicating combination of embarrassment and glee”
And
“It was too much, a shameful display of wealth, I should give it back….and also, I’d launch a holy war before I parted with it”
and
“Be a mother, be a wife, and keep the household clean. Oh - and don’t forget to smile!” "
3. Natalie wakes up to find herself in what appears to be the 1850s with a new husband and family. What details that really stood out to you about the shift in the people? What about the material and items?
I found this curious how she said they were her kids but not her kids. I wasn't expecting this. I thought she would be in a totally different 'world' although at this point I honestly had no idea what was going on!
4. Finally, this section shifts back and forth between the 1850s setting and Natalie’s time in college. Also, Harvard has a massive income disparity issue which is seen here and how do you think that influenced her time there? (Older article but still relevant: https://www.harvardmagazine.com/2017/...). Also allowing for cultural differences, do you think she would have had a different life trajectory had she gone to a different school?
I'm not sure how much of my answer is based on the fact that I have already read the book, sorry (I had to read it and get it back to the library before this BOM started!), but I think her upbringing had more to do with her life trajectory than college
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5. Natalie is becoming more aware of the differences by the work that needs to be done and her new husbands' treatment. She also finds a camera piece on the ground. If this is all fake, what do you think is the purpose of this being a "reality" type show?
I was so surprised by that piece of plastic! I really didn't think we were in a reality type show, I thought it was some kind of time travel thing. And then it made me wonder if she was mistaken about that piece of plastic. It doesn't seem to fit
6. Natalie is letting herself go a bit and her MIL tells her to shower and leaves a pill for her. What are your thoughts on this scene?
I loved how this explored how Natalie was completely unprepared for marriage and childbirth. Especially when she realises Caleb is a rich idiot. Having a newborn is so HARD especially on the mother who has to feed as well as having all those physical and hormonal impacts.
These comparisons between her MIL and mother were so well done. One drinks and takes drugs and the other pretends she is being watched. But as Natalie says "you don't get to complain about privilege".
7. Natalie was very against her husband being a teacher and had strong opinions of how that was more a woman's role. How offended were you on this comment or do you agree? Do you feel women should be the ones raising the kids, cleaning and cooking while the husband goes to work?
I don't believe in gender lines/jobs and I appreciated the author included this to show that their "traditional" living is actually impacting them both in different ways from being who they want to be.
Day 1 DQs: Part 1 – Chap 8*I've read this one...will attempt to answer from my POV for this point in the book
1. Have you heard of this book before starting it for the BOM? It seems to have become immensely popular since I nominated it, as it is the longest hold I have ever seen at the library. Why do you think it is so popular right now?
I haven't read a lot of books on the topic of tradwives and influences...it's different. And there has been quite a lot of 'hype' surrounding this one. I'm always attracted to debut authors and got this one from my BOM subscription.
2. We are introduced to Natalie and her current life as an influencer in the first section. She says she is “perfect at being alive.” How much do you think she believes her own production of her life versus knowing it is staged?
I didn't think she believed it all. She needed everyone else to though.
3. Natalie wakes up to find herself in what appears to be the 1850s with a new husband and family. What details that really stood out to you about the shift in the people? What about the material and items?
The biggest change seemed to be in husband Caleb who is now dominant and her daughter Mary who is older and 'the head of the household' or the kitchen anyway.
4. Finally, this section shifts back and forth between the 1850s setting and Natalie’s time in college. Also, Harvard has a massive income disparity issue which is seen here and how do you think that influenced her time there? (Older article but still relevant: https://www.harvardmagazine.com/2017/...). Also allowing for cultural differences, do you think she would have had a different life trajectory had she gone to a different school?
I think it's possible her life may have been very different. Although her mother and her religious values were significant in shaping her beliefs. She wouldn't have met Caleb and ultimately been influenced by the horrible experiences she had with other collegiates at Harvard.
Day 2 DQs: Chapters 9-22*I've read this one...will attempt to answer from my POV for this point in the book
5. Natalie is becoming more aware of the differences by the work that needs to be done and her new husbands' treatment. She also finds a camera piece on the ground. If this is all fake, what do you think is the purpose of this being a "reality" type show?
I really started questioning everything about this story when she found that plastic. Confused I was.
6. Natalie is letting herself go a bit and her MIL tells her to shower and leaves a pill for her. What are your thoughts on this scene?
Mary's mother is in to how things look vs her daughter's well being. This scene really angered me a lot. It's sad how Mary's mother is 'influencing' her with her words and actions towards her daughter. There's a lot of spill over from comments and actions like this.
7. Natalie was very against her husband being a teacher and had strong opinions of how that was more a woman's role. How offended were you on this comment or do you agree? Do you feel women should be the ones raising the kids, cleaning and cooking while the husband goes to work?
I think Natalie was very concerned about her husband's extreme values and the influence he'd have on children he taught...I didn't really think it was about 'men teaching' although I could have missed something there.
My husband and I share responsibilities around the house and did the same when our children were growing up. I personally do most of the cooking...but he's terrible at it (maybe that's on purpose ;)
Day 1 DQs: Part 1 – Chap 81. Have you heard of this book before starting it for the BOM? It seems to have become immensely popular since I nominated it, as it is the longest hold I have ever seen at the library. Why do you think it is so popular right now?
Yes, I had heard about this book, it was recommended by a Dutch booktuber who had read it. Also, several of my co-workers are talking about it. This BOM came at the perfect time for me to start it. I think it is so popular at the moment because of the whole “Tradwife/influencer thing on social media.
2. We are introduced to Natalie and her current life as an influencer in the first section. She says she is “perfect at being alive.” How much do you think she believes her own production of her life versus knowing it is staged?
Everything, I think she feels as if she knows it all and has the perfect life. Other women should be as she is.
3. Natalie wakes up to find herself in what appears to be the 1850s with a new husband and family. What details that really stood out to you about the shift in the people? What about the material and items?
What stood out to me is how Mary treats Nathalie, but also the growth tracking. And the description of the house and surroundings.
4. Finally, this section shifts back and forth between the 1850s setting and Natalie’s time in college. Also, Harvard has a massive income disparity issue which is seen here and how do you think that influenced her time there? (Older article but still relevant: https://www.harvardmagazine.com/2017/...). Also allowing for cultural differences, do you think she would have had a different life trajectory had she gone to a different school?
No I don’t think so. Looking at the little bits and pieces we get from her upbringing she was already set on that trajectory.
Day 1 DQs: Part 1 – Chap 81. Have you heard of this book before starting it for the BOM? It seems to have become immensely popular since I nominated it, as it is the longest hold I have ever seen at the library. Why do you think it is so popular right now?
I had not heard of it until now. Not sure why it's so popular, but it's giving total Ruby Franke vibes. Maybe that's why?
2. We are introduced to Natalie and her current life as an influencer in the first section. She says she is “perfect at being alive.” How much do you think she believes her own production of her life versus knowing it is staged?
It's all in her head, and it's what she's portraying to the world, even if she knows it's not true. Just exemplifies how social media is mostly a scam.
3. Natalie wakes up to find herself in what appears to be the 1850s with a new husband and family. What details that really stood out to you about the shift in the people? What about the material and items?
I thought it curious that they were her children but weren't, and Caleb appeared to be Caleb but not. I couldn't figure it out.
4. Finally, this section shifts back and forth between the 1850s setting and Natalie’s time in college. Also, Harvard has a massive income disparity issue which is seen here and how do you think that influenced her time there? (Older article but still relevant: https://www.harvardmagazine.com/2017/...). Also allowing for cultural differences, do you think she would have had a different life trajectory had she gone to a different school?
I don't think it would've mattered on the school because she was very set in her thinking and ways. But I do think Caleb being rich was icing on the cake.
Day 2 DQs: Chapters 9-225. Natalie is becoming more aware of the differences by the work that needs to be done and her new husbands' treatment. She also finds a camera piece on the ground. If this is all fake, what do you think is the purpose of this being a "reality" type show?
I initially thought it was time-travel. But after that find I did think it was a Truman show-type setting. She loved the spotlight so why wouldn't she do something this outrageous - for clicks, fans, etc.
6. Natalie is letting herself go a bit and her MIL tells her to shower and leaves a pill for her. What are your thoughts on this scene?
Having kids is HARD so I get her being so overwhelmed. Especially with such a dimwit weak husband. Her MIL giving her the pill sort of made sense (at least stereotypically) - woman self-medicate a lot in those types of positions, where they have to appear to be perfect on the outside.
7. Natalie was very against her husband being a teacher and had strong opinions of how that was more a woman's role. How offended were you on this comment or do you agree? Do you feel women should be the ones raising the kids, cleaning and cooking while the husband goes to work?
Of course I don't think in this day and age people would agree with that. With both partners having to work, other responsibilities are also shared more today than 50 years ago. But it was on par with her belief in the "traditional" wife and family.
Day 2 DQs: Chapters 9-225. Natalie is becoming more aware of the differences by the work that needs to be done and her new husbands' treatment. She also finds a camera piece on the ground. If this is all fake, what do you think is the purpose of this being a "reality" type show?
A reality show or some sort of payback. I am not getting a very good impression of Natalie and I also don't trust her narrative.
6. Natalie is letting herself go a bit and her MIL tells her to shower and leaves a pill for her. What are your thoughts on this scene?
Strange it's all so weird. It does sound like she has some post partum issues, but also her in laws are very strange.
7. Natalie was very against her husband being a teacher and had strong opinions of how that was more a woman's role. How offended were you on this comment or do you agree? Do you feel women should be the ones raising the kids, cleaning and cooking while the husband goes to work?
Not offended really. And it's not my opinion, I'm more of do what you like to do and what makes you happy. Do not look for other people's opinions. If teaching makes you happy do it. And the housework is to be divided/negotiated between partners.
Day 3 Discussion Questions: Chapters 23–348. When did you first begin to suspect that Natalie wasn't actually time-traveling? How does this revelation reshape your view of her as an unreliable narrator?
9. Is this Truman Show mentality unique to Natalie, or does social media force us all to perform our lives? How does her need for an audience survive even when she believes she has been stripped of her phone and transported to the 19th century?
10. What is the author trying to say about the dark, symbiotic relationship between the Tradwife aesthetic and toxic online subcultures like the Manosphere? How does the sudden collision of 19th-century aesthetics with modern technology highlight the absurdity and danger of Caleb and Natalie’s extreme off-grid fantasy?
Mod
1. When did you first begin to suspect that Natalie wasn't actually time-traveling? How does this revelation reshape your view of her as an unreliable na..."
Can you please update to start your questions from #8 so we can keep the DQs continuous (saves confusion!) thanks!
Day 3 Discussion Questions: Chapters 23–348 (1). When did you first begin to suspect that Natalie wasn't actually time-traveling? How does this revelation reshape your view of her as an unreliable narrator?
I feel like that's later in the book. Like I didn't know for certain until towards the end.
9 (2). Is this Truman Show mentality unique to Natalie, or does social media force us all to perform our lives? How does her need for an audience survive even when she believes she has been stripped of her phone and transported to the 19th century?
Well, social media doesn't/can't FORCE anyone to do anything. That's on the PERSON. People make up their own minds, do what they feel they need to do, to get popularity and those clicks to make them feel important.
10 (3). What is the author trying to say about the dark, symbiotic relationship between the Tradwife aesthetic and toxic online subcultures like the Manosphere? How does the sudden collision of 19th-century aesthetics with modern technology highlight the absurdity and danger of Caleb and Natalie’s extreme off-grid fantasy?
Tradwife is one thing, Manosphere is taking that to the nth degree. Oh boy, "traditional Aryan wife"? That's a little too extreme.
Mod
8. When did you first begin to suspect that Natalie wasn't actually time-traveling? How does this revelation reshape your view of her as an unreliable narrator?
I still wasn’t sure at this point if Natalie just made up the plastic. So I hadn’t discounted time travel. I made notes as I was reading and it wasn’t until day 4’s section that I started to realise/suspect what was going on
2. Is this Truman Show mentality unique to Natalie, or does social media force us all to perform our lives? How does her need for an audience survive even when she believes she has been stripped of her phone and transported to the 19th century?
I loved the depiction of the Divine Christian feminine course. So many of these are around to learn how to make money from instagram etc. and learning how to smile . I thought it was very well done! Her need to perform is more deep seeded but social media has given her the outlet
3. What is the author trying to say about the dark, symbiotic relationship between the Tradwife aesthetic and toxic online subcultures like the Manosphere? How does the sudden collision of 19th-century aesthetics with modern technology highlight the absurdity and danger of Caleb and Natalie’s extreme off-grid fantasy?
I’m not sure how to answer this and I think I’ve read it four times. Haha
I am not on social media and don’t follow all this stuff which is possibly why.
I also don’t think this was every Caleb’s fantasy or dream to live off grid. He just was at a loss as to what to do and fell in love with the idea of being a farmer.
The main thing about this part for me was Abigail’s confession and Natalie tells her she can’t divorce him for all the reasons Natalie also can’t leave . It was a perfect insight into what is going on with Natalie.
The whole passage with Amelia vommitting the pudding and passing out and the overall narrative that everyone lies about what it is to be a woman and are pretending about life for women from birth was very well done imo.
Day 3 Discussion Questions: Chapters 23–348. When did you first begin to suspect that Natalie wasn't actually time-traveling? How does this revelation reshape your view of her as an unreliable narrator?
It was the plastic…but I still wasn’t sure if it was Natalie, a hostage type situation involving drugs or something, or what. The confusing part was Mary. My confusion was heightened at this point honestly.
9. Is this Truman Show mentality unique to Natalie, or does social media force us all to perform our lives? How does her need for an audience survive even when she believes she has been stripped of her phone and transported to the 19th century?
Social media is a real problem in our culture. Paired with growing use of AI it’s transformative and not in a good way. In Natalie’s case her extreme situation from every angle is forcing us as readers to acknowledge this challenge of our culture I think.
10. What is the author trying to say about the dark, symbiotic relationship between the Tradwife aesthetic and toxic online subcultures like the Manosphere? How does the sudden collision of 19th-century aesthetics with modern technology highlight the absurdity and danger of Caleb and Natalie’s extreme off-grid fantasy?
I had to look up definitions to answer this but I think the author is showing that the "Tradwife" lifestyle and angry men's internet groups (Manosphere) feed off each other.
The story is demonstrating that trying to live like a pioneer while using modern technology is hypocritical. Characters like Caleb and Natalie want to escape the modern world, but they rely on the internet to make money and show off. It’s a fantasy because they are giving up modern safety and medicine for a fake, online lifestyle. They look ridiculous to everyone but themselves.
Day 1 DQs: Part 1 – Chap 81. Have you heard of this book before starting it for the BOM? It seems to have become immensely popular since I nominated it, as it is the longest hold I have ever seen at the library. Why do you think it is so popular right now?
I saw it at our library on the 7 day - no renewals section so I knew it was very popular. Now I've started it the subject matter is all over the media so I'm guessing that's why it's so popular.
2. We are introduced to Natalie and her current life as an influencer in the first section. She says she is “perfect at being alive.” How much do you think she believes her own production of her life versus knowing it is staged?
Wow, Natalie is awful. She is so self righteous I'm sure she believes everything she is spruiking and that she is superior to everyone she meets. I can't help thinking she is getting her comeuppance living the actual Trad Wife life .
3. Natalie wakes up to find herself in what appears to be the 1850s with a new husband and family. What details that really stood out to you about the shift in the people? What about the material and items?
It is sort of a parallel dimension. Where the core things are the same but slightly different. Like the children are like hers but not. The same with the husband similarities but differences.
4. Finally, this section shifts back and forth between the 1850s setting and Natalie’s time in college. Also, Harvard has a massive income disparity issue which is seen here and how do you think that influenced her time there? (Older article but still relevant: https://www.harvardmagazine.com/2017/...). Also allowing for cultural differences, do you think she would have had a different life trajectory had she gone to a different school?
No, she seemed to be on the trajectory way before College. But her experiences there so far seem to have solidified her opinions about what makes a successful person. She always had a very healthy opinion of herself and seems way too judgmental of others even at this early stage of the story.
DQ DAY 11. Have you heard of this book before starting it for the BOM? It seems to have become immensely popular since I nominated it, as it is the longest hold I have ever seen at the library. Why do you think it is so popular right now?
Yes actually! I think i saw it's getting adapted too so that's likely why it's hard to get imo i always have a hard time getting stuff that's being adapted.
2. We are introduced to Natalie and her current life as an influencer in the first section. She says she is “perfect at being alive.” How much do you think she believes her own production of her life versus knowing it is staged?
At this stage of the book I think she's all in at believing her production - but as we go we see there are many cracks in her armor.
3. Natalie wakes up to find herself in what appears to be the 1850s with a new husband and family. What details that really stood out to you about the shift in the people? What about the material and items?
I think it was interesting that everything seemes kind of similar - people looking like relatives and her calling Caleb "old Caleb" was kind of an intriguing descripter.
4. Finally, this section shifts back and forth between the 1850s setting and Natalie’s time in college. Also, Harvard has a massive income disparity issue which is seen here and how do you think that influenced her time there? (Older article but still relevant: https://www.harvardmagazine.com/2017/...). Also allowing for cultural differences, do you think she would have had a different life trajectory had she gone to a different school?
Tbh I'm not super familiar with college income stuff but i will say going to a different college would've changed things to a degree.
Day 2 DQs: Chapters 9-225. Natalie is becoming more aware of the differences by the work that needs to be done and her new husbands' treatment. She also finds a camera piece on the ground. If this is all fake, what do you think is the purpose of this being a "reality" type show?
My first thought was amnesia/kidnapping.
6. Natalie is letting herself go a bit and her MIL tells her to shower and leaves a pill for her. What are your thoughts on this scene?
I don't like it but feel like for women of a certain wealth? Maybe this is normal. PPD is very real and definitely shouldn't have been addressed the way it was in this book.
7. Natalie was very against her husband being a teacher and had strong opinions of how that was more a woman's role. How offended were you on this comment or do you agree? Do you feel women should be the ones raising the kids, cleaning and cooking while the husband goes to work?
I think people should do what makes them happy. I'm not really offended in any direction - i live a "trad" type lifestyle myself and i enjoy it. I like cooking and taking care of my kids. I was more irked by Natalie lying so much with the nannys and stuff. I grew up staying at my grandma's a ton and I've always been adamant about being the primary caregiver of my kids and that's what works for our family.
Day 3 Discussion Questions: Chapters 23–341. When did you first begin to suspect that Natalie wasn't actually time-traveling? How does this revelation reshape your view of her as an unreliable narrator?
I'm gonna be honest i thought this was going in the "it's all a dream" direction most of the book until the "neighbors" showed up.
2. Is this Truman Show mentality unique to Natalie, or does social media force us all to perform our lives? How does her need for an audience survive even when she believes she has been stripped of her phone and transported to the 19th century?
Social media does this to people 100% - i haven't been on anything but goodreads for over 6 years and it has done wonders for my happiness. Everyone preforms and it gives me major FOMO. I'm so much happier knowing I'm living authentically.
3. What is the author trying to say about the dark, symbiotic relationship between the Tradwife aesthetic and toxic online subcultures like the Manosphere? How does the sudden collision of 19th-century aesthetics with modern technology highlight the absurdity and danger of Caleb and Natalie’s extreme off-grid fantasy?
I guess that they feed into each other? My real problem with trad life is that it's just not real. I actually have to remind myself of this when i see these charaters on youtube because i always think wheres my Sourdough starter? Lmao just not real. Life is messy and not everyone has two nannys and a housekeeper.
As far as the dangers of offgrid - pregnancy is the one that shouts the loudest to me in this book. As someone with a weird undiagnosed blood condition of some sort I'd be dead if i tried a homebirth let alone tried to also pretend there were no doctors or ambulances.
Mod
This is a very popular book and many of you have already read it. Which is totally fine to still join the conversation...
but...
Please be aware of not giving away spoilers in your answers or question asking.
Thanks in advance!
Day 3 Discussion Questions: Chapters 23–348. When did you first begin to suspect that Natalie wasn't actually time-traveling? How does this revelation reshape your view of her as an unreliable narrator?
I think very early on. Not just that she is unreliable as a narrator (we only hear her thoughts and opinions), but also the reactions (as narrated by Natalie) of the cast of characters around her to Natalie’s actions.
9. Is this Truman Show mentality unique to Natalie, or does social media force us all to perform our lives? How does her need for an audience survive even when she believes she has been stripped of her phone and transported to the 19th century?
I don’t think it’s unique to Natalie, I think she grew up with it earlier on in the book she describes that her mother imagines she is being watched while performing tasks around the house as if she is on a television show. I think Natalie approaches life as if she is being watched, like she is the star of her own very special movie/ TV show.
10. What is the author trying to say about the dark, symbiotic relationship between the Tradwife aesthetic and toxic online subcultures like the Manosphere? How does the sudden collision of 19th-century aesthetics with modern technology highlight the absurdity and danger of Caleb and Natalie’s extreme off-grid fantasy?
I think the Tradwife aesthetic and the Manosphere go hand in hand as they originate from the same school of though a very conservative (orthodox) way of thinking the man is the provider and the woman the carer whether it is rooted in religion or politics. With the Tradwife focussing on ultra femininity and Manosphere ultra masculinity.
Day 2 DQs: Chapters 9-225. Natalie is becoming more aware of the differences by the work that needs to be done and her new husbands' treatment. She also finds a camera piece on the ground. If this is all fake, what do you think is the purpose of this being a "reality" type show?
Possibly payback in some way. Like if you want a traditional family life here's the real deal.
6. Natalie is letting herself go a bit and her MIL tells her to shower and leaves a pill for her. What are your thoughts on this scene?
Gross like even her mother. Everything is around being the perfect wife and mother. Like a man could never stoop to do anything domestic to help out.
7. Natalie was very against her husband being a teacher and had strong opinions of how that was more a woman's role. How offended were you on this comment or do you agree? Do you feel women should be the ones raising the kids, cleaning and cooking while the husband goes to work?
Ugh it was so bad and I think this is where people start to hate the FMC. In this day and age, I think family responsibility should be for all parents. I mean who is the one giving birth and creating a life. Men really should do more. I love how this book addresses how some men are children too 🤣
Day 3 Discussion Questions: Chapters 23–348. When did you first begin to suspect that Natalie wasn't actually time-traveling? How does this revelation reshape your view of her as an unreliable narrator?
When she found the camera. I think I realized the same time she did. But honestly, I haven't been completely convinced it's not real for her. Like maybe she is dreaming or something.
9. Is this Truman Show mentality unique to Natalie, or does social media force us all to perform our lives? How does her need for an audience survive even when she believes she has been stripped of her phone and transported to the 19th century?
Sadly, she grew up in a family that told her she had to be perfect in order to find a man, and she should want to have kids and perform daily for that perfect life, I think social media just escalated the problem into a full-blown issue. I think most influencers are completely fake and really do need help and to touch grass.
10. What is the author trying to say about the dark, symbiotic relationship between the Tradwife aesthetic and toxic online subcultures like the Manosphere? How does the sudden collision of 19th-century aesthetics with modern technology highlight the absurdity and danger of Caleb and Natalie’s extreme off-grid fantasy?
I think the story which is highly based on Ballerina Farms account is displaying that a trad wife is outdated and quite ridiculous. Social media creates fans and income. That income gives you the support to act like being traditional is something everyone can and should do. Unfortunately, were all living day by day struggling to move through life so I aint buying that propaganda, also men are no longer the caregiver, family providers, Women have fought to be equal and going back now would be like spitting in all those who fought for our freedoms.
Day 1 DQs: Part 1 – Chap 81. Have you heard of this book before starting it for the BOM? It seems to have become immensely popular since I nominated it, as it is the longest hold I have ever seen at the library. Why do you think it is so popular right now?
The book has been everywhere; I saw it mentioned in many posts online and in many videos.
2. We are introduced to Natalie and her current life as an influencer in the first section. She says she is “perfect at being alive.” How much do you think she believes her own production of her life versus knowing it is staged?
I think she made herself believe it, that it's her way to survive through her life.
3. Natalie wakes up to find herself in what appears to be the 1850s with a new husband and family. What details that really stood out to you about the shift in the people? What about the material and items?
It's giving me alternate reality vibes, like everything is similar to her life but things are off.
4. Finally, this section shifts back and forth between the 1850s setting and Natalie’s time in college. Also, Harvard has a massive income disparity issue which is seen here and how do you think that influenced her time there? (Older article but still relevant: https://www.harvardmagazine.com/2017/...). Also allowing for cultural differences, do you think she would have had a different life trajectory had she gone to a different school?
Maybe her life would have been different, since the people we meet are influential to our lives.
Day 2 DQs: Chapters 9-225. Natalie is becoming more aware of the differences by the work that needs to be done and her new husbands' treatment. She also finds a camera piece on the ground. If this is all fake, what do you think is the purpose of this being a "reality" type show?
I thought that she went into psychosis.
6. Natalie is letting herself go a bit and her MIL tells her to shower and leaves a pill for her. What are your thoughts on this scene?
I thought that she is on her last straw, she can't fake it anymore.
7. Natalie was very against her husband being a teacher and had strong opinions of how that was more a woman's role. How offended were you on this comment or do you agree? Do you feel women should be the ones raising the kids, cleaning and cooking while the husband goes to work?
Natalie is so awful that it didn't suprised me, just made me hate her even more. I think anyone can do anything regardless of their gender. Let's break gender roles!
Day 3 Discussion Questions: Chapters 23–348. When did you first begin to suspect that Natalie wasn't actually time-traveling? How does this revelation reshape your view of her as an unreliable narrator?
When she found the camera. She's been an unreliable narrator from the beginning.
9. Is this Truman Show mentality unique to Natalie, or does social media force us all to perform our lives? How does her need for an audience survive even when she believes she has been stripped of her phone and transported to the 19th century?
I think that if you post a lot on social media it is a sort of Truman Show experience for everyone. It was the only thing keeping her sane.
10. What is the author trying to say about the dark, symbiotic relationship between the Tradwife aesthetic and toxic online subcultures like the Manosphere? How does the sudden collision of 19th-century aesthetics with modern technology highlight the absurdity and danger of Caleb and Natalie’s extreme off-grid fantasy?
With everything happening in the world, the traditional lifestyle is making a comeback, and it's dangerous to think so narrowly. Progress happens for a reason; technology isn't always dangerous. We need more empathy and more critical thinking in this world.
Day 1 DQs: Part 1 – Chap 81. Have you heard of this book before starting it for the BOM? It seems to have become immensely popular since I nominated it, as it is the longest hold I have ever seen at the library. Why do you think it is so popular right now?
I have seen the book, but haven't really heard much about it. The holds at my small town local library is higher than I've ever seen! I don't have a clue why it is so popular, unless it is the influencer angle!
2. We are introduced to Natalie and her current life as an influencer in the first section. She says she is “perfect at being alive.” How much do you think she believes her own production of her life versus knowing it is staged?
I think she knows it is being staged and enjoys the spoils and popularity too much to care if it is "real" or not. However, she wants everyone else to believe it is true!!
3. Natalie wakes up to find herself in what appears to be the 1850s with a new husband and family. What details that really stood out to you about the shift in the people? What about the material and items?
I wasn't sure what was happening at first, but after reading the blurb about the book understood. It seems like more of an alternate reality with all the similar but different things (like her kids and husband.)
4. Finally, this section shifts back and forth between the 1850s setting and Natalie’s time in college. Also, Harvard has a massive income disparity issue which is seen here and how do you think that influenced her time there? (Older article but still relevant: https://www.harvardmagazine.com/2017/...). Also allowing for cultural differences, do you think she would have had a different life trajectory had she gone to a different school?
It could have had a slight difference on her life. But I feel like she was pretty set on what she wanted before she started college. She isn't a very nice person, IMO. I think she would have always done anything to be the popular/rich girl.
Catherine12096 books | 70 friends
see comment historyDay 2 DQs: Chapters 9-22
5. Natalie is becoming more aware of the differences by the work that needs to be done and her new husbands' treatment. She also finds a camera piece on the ground. If this is all fake, what do you think is the purpose of this being a "reality" type show?
I think someone mentioned it was like The Truman Show. I'm going to go with that. Purpose - probably to try and reveal that the "perfect life" is really only a myth.. despite what some on social media would have us believe.
6. Natalie is letting herself go a bit and her MIL tells her to shower and leaves a pill for her. What are your thoughts on this scene?
There was a whole genre of books in the 80's/90's with this theme. The Valley of the Dolls sprung to mind. A whole generation of women who were living what society believed was correct and they were miserable doing it. Thus resorting to pills to get through the days. I really hope those days are behind us. Women have more choice now though sometimes I think the dream that you can have it all, career, children, the perfect home is over rated and in reality just another type of imposition.
7. Natalie was very against her husband being a teacher and had strong opinions of how that was more a woman's role. How offended were you on this comment or do you agree? Do you feel women should be the ones raising the kids, cleaning and cooking while the husband goes to work?
Hoping we have moved on from that stereotyping. Really it is up to the individual couple how they conduct their lives which best suit their family and situation.
'My name was Natalie Heller Mills, and I was perfect at being alive.'
Natalie lives a traditional lifestyle – and has the social media accounts to prove it. Her charming farmhouse on her working ranch is artfully cluttered, her husband is a handsome cowboy, her homemade sourdough boules are each more beautiful than the last. So what if there are nannies and producers and industrial-grade ovens behind the scenes? What Natalie’s followers don’t know won’t hurt them.
Then, one morning, Natalie wakes up in a strange, horrible version of reality. Her home, her husband, her children—they’re all familiar, but something’s off. Is this a hoax? A reality show? A test from God? One thing Natalie does know is that it’ll make one hell of an Instagram post…
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Nominator: Lexi
Official Page Count: 400