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I’m so sorry! I sadly don’t have any ideas (I know it’s awful) but that sounds AMAZING!!! I would totally read that! Again I’m sorry I dont have anything to tell you.
ITS GREAT TRUST ME!!unfortunately i hate writing so I can't rlly give u feedback but pls write it I'd love to read it!!
Oh! thanks for responding! Ya'll better not be lying to me. it better be "GREAT" and "AMAZING"
It honestly doesn't make any sense. but shower thought always give plot holes *sighs*
It sounds cool! But why are they at the institution?
Something to keep in mind that maybe not to have too many povs. Five seem a bit too much to someone like. Unlike you, you are someone like Brandon Sanderson who can keep the reader attention for with povs that don't feel dragged out.
So there's a kingdom like any other fantasy dystopian novel. The king needs some spy's for-plot hole- so they blame people for doing things they didn't do like murder, treason to give them a reason or they take peeps without the whole kingdom finding outshit I give up- chatgpt to the rescue
The story takes place in a dystopian fantasy kingdom called Mevadora, with cities like Levon. People born with abilities are called Lorals, though some powers are feared more than others.
The kingdom is ruled by a manipulative king who secretly runs a brutal institution called Aspendine, where dangerous, uncontrollable, or politically inconvenient people are imprisoned.
there!The multi POV are kind of for me cuz I get bored writing from one POV all the time and i'm just trying something new i guess
hey!! fellow writer hereee!multi POV stories can be literally the best things ever... if written the right wayyy
when writing in multi POV it's important to write them in their own distinct voices. i have read books with several POVs and then been "wait? this is a different character talking?" because the transition between characters was not pronounced enough
i think it's definitely worth a shot at writing! just keep the voices seperateddd :)))
eloise (my tears are acrylic paint) wrote: "hey!! fellow writer hereee!multi POV stories can be literally the best things ever... if written the right wayyy
when writing in multi POV it's important to write them in their own distinct voic..."
Totes thx
wait can I get personality traits that are diff so I can write from diff povs My main 5
Raven: Jasper- observative, straight-forward
Crimson: Nyla- hot-headed, vengeful, petty (for the right reasons)
Ember: Cameron- humorous, playful
Lunar: Lillian- phycological, hopeless
Sapphire: Olivia- Ahead of her time, normal, strategic
for anyone who wants to read chapter 1 cuz I just finished it (1248 words)
Chapter 1
And the story begins: Raven
I feel broken. No hope, no feeling. Just broken, numb and broken. There is grey all around, the only color in this place is the people who still have hope. I admire the people with hope, but I don't need hope to survive when I've got instincts.
I hear screams coming from the shadow room. Never been, and I don't want to find out now. Footsteps. A lot of footsteps are coming toward me. Athin shoes stomp in this direction, although I can't see doesn't necessarily mean I don't know they are coming for me. I just know. That's a power I have. Well, I call it a power at least. Maybe I'll be able to escape this time for longer than three days. I'm betting my life on it.
They walk until they reach my cell. “Come with us, Raven,” a cadet said in a solemn voice. I don't care to move my muscles. There are three of them and one of them is a new Athin because I don,t remember seeing him the day before while I watched the Athins discuss some bullshit about waffles and how the cafeteria should serve them when they were supposed to be having a meeting about politics while I was in the courtyard yesterday. “Don't make me say it again, Raven” he warns, folding his arm. I don't want to know what he'll do with me if I don't and like I said I don't plan on visiting the shadow room any time soon. I get up and hide what my mind is thinking by copying his expression. Serious and unmoving. I walk toward him and stand in front of him, we’re eye level. Surprisingly since I'm usually taller than most Athins.
“Where are we going, Cadet?” I ask him with no hint of true emotion in my voice. “You'll learn soon enough, wrong doer” he grabs me roughly by my arm and shoulder and he pulls me along the corridor. Athins act like we killed their mother or whole family for that matter, and I guess we could've. You've gotta be downright rotten if you wanna end up in this place. As we walk I observe as I always do since there is nothing else to keep my mind occupied. There is no weapon better than information, as I've learned from years of experience because when you have no such thing as a Loral, surviving is a tricky thing but when it's all I got I'll stick to it. As I walk I see my favorite person in this messed up place, Robin, the janitor. She looks in her forties and has been working in the Aspendine for half her life. She gives me a wave and a little smile as she sweeps the floor. I give her that same treatment but as Cadet Carl sees my interaction he pulls me faster along the hall. I spare her a look over my shoulder as a goodbye because I might never see her again, but she doesn't know that yet.
We keep walking down the Aspendine’s wide halls until we reach the door. There is another Cadet waiting by the door, she is not that tall and is Asian-Indian I’m guessing-but she speaks perfect English “Hey, Cadet Aemish. Is this the next one?” she asks her, voice higher-Its fear. The cadet who led me here, who I now know as Aemish, Nods and walks back the way we came. She tilts her head beckoning me to follow her outside to the Ground Yard. I follow her as we walk the soggy path, although rain soaked the ground, the sun shines brightly, a contrast to the life we live. “Hi, I’m Norel, well Cadet Earnest, but you can call me Nora. And you are?” she asks with a curious look in her eye. “Raven” I answered promptly. “Cool Codete”
She compliments my Codete as if we were friends. We're not. We walk in a comfortable silence. She’s not like other Athins. She’s relaxed, her shoulders aren’t tense as you’d think. She’s comfortable around me- Strange.
“You’ve got a scary one, Nor!” A Cadet yells at her as we pass him. He’s Mexican and not very tall either. “Fuck off, and go get your next!” she yells back at him and gives him her middle finger, flipping him off. He snorts as he speed walks back to the building. “Who was that?” I ask, not out of actual curiosity but for my sake, you never know when you need information. She turns her head toward me and doesn’t question my request. She answers truthfully “Oh, Him? He’s my bitch of a roommate, Al- I mean Cadet Zarraga.”
I nod slightly. He seems like a soft one, easy to crack. We walk in another silence, grass smushing beneath my feet, one of my pet-peeves. It’s gone quiet, the only sound is the mud beneath my boots.I always pay attention to the loudest thing, which right now are my spiraling thoughts.
What am I being gathered for? Judging by the unseriousness of Cadet Zarraga and Norel, they have nothing to do with it. I realize I can ask Norel. She seems loyal but maybe I can crack her. “What are you taking me for?” She looks at me again, her eyes flick to the ground then back to me “Sorry, Raven. I can’t tell you that yet” she says. “Well, what can you tell me?” I counter.
“What I can tell you, is that you should be ready to fight, whether you like it or not, Raven. I hope I get to see you again” she says genuinely. As she says that we turn the corner to enter a gargantuan valley-The Ground Yard. There are about 15 prisoners already here. Some biting their nails, some with their hands resting on their hips, Failing-in my eyes- to hide the fear they desperately need to hide. For that is how you survive in this place, because fear gets you killed. “It would be a shame to learn your name and not see you on the other side. Good luck, Raven” She turns and walks away, back the way we came.
I slowly walk onto the field of unknowns at the moment. They put a dais out on the field, this must be serious. The Princes are seated on the Dias. I knew that the royal family founded the Aspendine-I have eyes and ears-but i never thought i’d see a Torres in person. Prince Nico-The third born, and Prince Skye-The youngest. The Athins are everywhere. At every exit, every escape, no way out. Perfect, just perfect.
There is a blonde girl at the far right side of the Ground Yard, her hands are shaking like they’ll never stop. I know she feels my gaze because her eyes flicker over to me for a split second and then back to the ground. From rumors, I think her name is Lunar. They say she killed the kingdom's most honored priest. She was the only one who knew it would happen before it happened. Some say she tells the future, some say she is just crazy. I think there’s more hidden under her fragile exterior but we lived on opposite sides of the Aspendine so I never got a chance to ask her.
I walk over to the grimy stone wall to lean against it. To do what I do best-observe.
YESSS i love ittttt also i have an idea- romance subplot? i feel like a subtle enemies/freinds to lover would be fireeeee with this
like I said 5 povs...(my crazy self) that's just pov 1 hehe..there will be romance between Crimson and Ember which are the next 2 Povs
Crimson x Ember
Norel x Prince Nico
VOCABAspendine- The institution
Loral- Ability
Levon- A city in Mevadora
Mevadora- The Kingdom
Codete- Their codenames
Athins/Cadets- People who work for the king at the Aspendine
Chapter 2 (1344 words)Too Much In Too Little Time: Crimson
“Have fun, Bitch” the Athin that shoves me to the ground is the real bitch. “Fuck you, Asshole” He laughs deeply at my directness. He walks away without a backward glance.
Thank the actual heavens I’m away from him, i might have just killed him if it lasted even a second longer. I get up from the mushy ground and wipe the mud from my pants. I think I’m the last one here. The some of them are all gathering in a straight line in front of the dais-When the fuck did a dais get here? Listen first, questions later, I tell myself.
I look around to see a dark skinned girl walk toward me confidently, her braids swaying as she walks. When she stops in front of me I see she is smiling at me “Hey Would you have any idea why we’re here? You just seem like you know something the rest of us don’t” she says to me kind of quietly. “Sorry, you're out of luck-”but then i remember something “two nights ago i snuck down to the cafeteria for a late night snack” I was expecting her to ask why or make a face but she doesn’t so i keep going “Ms. Everitt gave me a donut to snack on, but after that I was sneaking back up to my quarters but when I heard Athins coming I dipped behind a wall and heard them say something as they walked by. Ugh, what was it? Something like ‘I can’t wait to see the prisoners fight for freedom’ or something like that” I look at her, expecting her to say something, she does “Thanks, That might’ve been helpful” she smiles at me.
“Line up, Prisoners!” a Cadet shouts across the Ground Yard. The girl pulls me to the line “C’mon”
As the prisoners get moving to form a line in front of the dais, I look over my shoulder to see the Raven Charmer slowly get off the grimy stone wall and walk toward the line being created. I start talking to the girl beside me to distract me from the memories of that night, of how Raven treated my friend, Tinler.“We didn’t really introduce ourselves, I’m Crimson. What’s your name?” I ask the girl beside me. “Oh, I’m Sapphire” She flashes another toothy grin my way and I return it.
The king steps up to the dais and so does the queen with the rest of the royal children. King Tristan Torres, Queen Malissa Torres, Princess Cadence Torres, Prince William Torres, Prince Nico Diaz-Torres, and Prince Skye. I have their names all memorized because of course that's the first thing you learn in history class.
I notice the 8 Cadets-4 fighters and 4 workers- they stand in 4 groups of 2 on the lower part of the dais waiting for some kind of order. I notice that the mean one from earlier that pushed me to the ground is one of them. Great. The king clears his throat loudly, which catches all of our attention. He speaks.
“Hello!” His voice echoes in my mind irritably. “Welcome to The Freedom Trials!”
What the hell. I notice the 18 or so prisoners gasp and look around cautiously, because ‘trials’ mean competition. Are these the people we’re facing, people I have to fight?
“Trials where you will fight for your freedom, to earn your freedom. In these trials you will begin in teams of 5, because trust will help you make it out alive if not freed. You can harm, you can kill for your freedom. As long as it’s in defense.” he looks down at us. We look up at him in awe. He gave us permission to hurt people. To break people who are already broken. “That is all you can know for now. We’ll get you in your groups in a minute.”
That was a statement, he said so much in so little words. That is everything every prisoner has been dreaming about since they were brought here. At one point, freedom was all I dreamed about. So I'll be in a group,I honestly hope I don't get stuck with anyone arrogant. I might not deal very well. Sapphire turns to me “I really hope we’re in a group together. That would be nice considering you're the only person here I talked to.” she says looking me in the eyes. I know she’s not the person who would back down from a fight with that eye contact. I say “Yeah, that would be nice” I give her a smile. That is the most I’ve smiled in a day, let alone in an hour.
Then I hear a scream from my left. There's a fight. Jesus Christ, already? A girl who looks Mexican with long black hair tied in a braid has punched a slim white boy, who now has a bloody nose. “You’re getting it, bitch” He pins her to the ground, he puts his hand around her throat. I hear her croak loudly “you wish I was” Then out of nowhere she flips him over and slaps him.
“Dark! Phantom! Get off each other, the trials haven’t even started yet!” His British accent is very detectable. It’s a Cadet whose name I did not care to remember. The girl who I now know as Phantom gets up and walks away with her hands balled in fist.
“We are ready to assign groups!” the king declares, then looks at the British Cadet “Thank you, Cadet Hawkins” The Fighter Cadet nods and returns to his place next to a blonde Worker Cadet. “We’ll go in order and start with team one! Spark, Phantom, Leafy, Claw, and last but not least Sharp will form team one for the Freedom Trials!” The king shouts with a smile. Probably excited to watch us fight to death. For all I know, he could just be looking for some entertainment in his high royal life. Well I can surely entertain. He starts to call the next group “team two will consist of Raven…” Please not me, please not me. “...Crimson, Ember, Lunar, and sapphire!” Shit. Why me? But Sapphire seems over the moon- in her own way. “Hey, we’re together. I guess luck is on our side.” She says with her unforgettable smile. “Luck was on my side for that, but Raven? The fucking Raven Charmer? Life must hate me to put me with his ass. At least I have you” I tell her as King Torres finishes naming the teams then the King says “team one is in that corner,” he points to a corner of the field. Then I notice that the eight Cadets from the dais have spread to the corners. Two in each corner, one fighter, one worker. The pairs they were in when they were on the dais. “Team two, in that one” he points to another corner for my team. Me and Sapphire look at each other and we turn to walk toward where we were pointed towards.
I can see the Cadets in our corner from here. The Fighter Cadet is tall for a woman. She looks scary. She’s tan, probably from training in the sun everyday, and she has short, shoulder length light brown hair. The Worker Cadet is Indian. She is shorter than the Fighter Cadet and I think she might be shorter than me, though I can barely tell from the distance. She has dark brown hair tied into a slick ponytail. Her skin is a little bit darker than my chestnut colored skin. She’s actually really pretty. As I walk with Sapphire and watch our corner, Raven gets there before everyone else in our group and the Indian Cadet strikes a conversation with him. She’s smiling like they are old friends, though Raven seems distant. Then Sapphire says “He might be hard to work with” I turn my head to see her staring directly at Raven’s neutral facial expression.
“You read my mind”
idk if you want the whole book but I am posting as I finish every chapter. If you really want i'll post chapter 3 but I wasn't planning on it
so I was wondering if I should write this cuz I came up with a plot. dystopian btw
So I was thinking a 5 POV book. so they live in an institution kind of like prisoners. I thought I was smart because you're usually at a hero's POV but your at the prisoners. Every person in there has done a horrible thing, or so we think at the beginning. 20 of them get chosen to compete for their freedom like trials. (4 groups of 5) and of course the main characters are all in a group. 5 main characters but they all have code names for example Jasper black is called raven. they do this because for some reason prisoners are not aloud to know their real names and some of them hve abilities
I'm at the stage where I spiral with possibilities
Ideas? critiques? would you read it? lmk every thought you had while reading this confusing plot summary.