Terminalcoffee discussion
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things people should no say tae ye...(kevin in a kilt)
They should never say that I don't look like a sassy skinny minnie.
"Are those new slacks""Your underpants are showing"
[from a guy:] "That shirt is fabulous"
[from a hot chick:] "My dad was a couple years behind you in high school i think"
Ha...Kevin, a couple weeks ago I was talking about some music with a student and she said, "When were those band around? You know I was born in 1990, right?"You know what made that particularly hard to hear? The student was so nice...she seemed to feel sorry for the old dude talking about his ancient music...
"You look tired."Thanks for telling me I look like shit!
Except from Richard or very close friends, then I know it's more compassionate.
Some random comments that will either irk me or provoke me into inflicting some kind of physical harm on you:
1. "Have a good one." Be more specific, please.
2. "You've got a case of the Mondays." You'd be surprised how many corporate flunkies I work with who think this comment is funny. It's not. I think any man who says this should have his ass kicked. Hard.
3. Any comment that ignorantly plays upon my Hispanic roots, such as "You must love rice and beans" or "I bet you're a great dancer."
4. "Kenny Loggins kicks ass." I swear, someone once bragged about that.
5. "I hate to say this..." No, you don't. Just say it, already.
1. "Have a good one." Be more specific, please.
2. "You've got a case of the Mondays." You'd be surprised how many corporate flunkies I work with who think this comment is funny. It's not. I think any man who says this should have his ass kicked. Hard.
3. Any comment that ignorantly plays upon my Hispanic roots, such as "You must love rice and beans" or "I bet you're a great dancer."
4. "Kenny Loggins kicks ass." I swear, someone once bragged about that.
5. "I hate to say this..." No, you don't. Just say it, already.
Lori wrote: ""You look tired."I am guilty of this one.
it is sorta like when we talk to an old grizzly stoner dude with a white ponytail about woodstock and he goes "bro...i was there"
"Rode hard and left wet" is another comment I find horrible and insulting.
And I'm guilty of abusing that one.
And I'm guilty of abusing that one.
Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "it is sorta like when we talk to an old grizzly stoner dude with a white ponytail about woodstock and he goes "bro...i was there""Kevin should not have said that to me.
edit: I did imply he wore Zubaz pants earlier, so he had every right to say that to me.
"when are you having more kids?""you can't have only one child!"
I also don't like being called "skinny"... Thin/athletic, whatever, just not skinny.
I hear you, Bells. People who say "are you going to try for a fourth since you don't have a girl?" piss me off. Listen. I like having three boys. I would have liked having two boys and a girl, one boy and two girls, whatever. The combination doesn't matter...each is unique and has advantages and disadvantages. But the question seems to imply, whether intended or not, that the fates looked on us without favor and we wish one of our kids was a girl. And that pisses me off.
Yep, right with you, RA!I HATE the assumption that we have "fertility issues" since we aren't pumpin' 'em out like the Duggars.
TRUE! My father-in-law has asked 3 women that, and none of then were pregnant! We told him unless he sees a head coming out to keep his mouth shut!
Oh sheesh, that's just a given!Bells, I hear you, everybody always asked when I was going to have another! Now that I look back on it, I shouldn't have felt compelled to explain, just said Never.
for me i get a lot of short comments because i'm 4'11'' sometimes i joke and say im 4'12''.. but i get a lot of comments about that and my last name, because if you take a few letters off it spells a certain body part.. i dont get horribly mad just a bit annoyed.. because those things were all my life, so for me its gotten old, to hear it over and over..
Do NOT tell me I'm overreacting. It won't help.
Jackie "the Librarian" wrote: "Do NOT tell me I'm overreacting. It won't help."I would never think of it.
Oh Jackie, yeah, that really gets me going instead of calming me down!I'M NOT OVERREACTING DON'T TELL ME I'M OVERREACTING!!!!!
I like to wear empire waist dresses. Most everyone think when you pull out the empire waist dress you are trying to "hide" something. No, I just think they are comfortable.Also my husband comes home from work with the same story every couple of weeks "So someone was asking about you at work today..." And the story is always "You're married? Is she your baby-mamma? No? Why'd you get married ,then!?" or "Have you tapped so and so yet?" and when he says no "Why not? I'd tap that." Maybe cause one girl is complicated enough without throwing cheating in the mix...? I just don't get it.
1) When people find out that I'm leaning-childfree and don't fantasize about getting married and they say, "Oh, I didn't want to get married, either" or "Someday you'll change your mind." You know, someday I might really change my mind, but that doesn't mean that marriage and popping out babies is innate because I am a female.2) "When are you going to get a job?" although "When are you going to get a REAL job?" is worse. (It's classist; people do work in university dining halls for a living.)
3) "When are you getting your license?" When you pay for my lessons and then buy me a car. It's not like there's a lemon-yellow Corvair sitting in the garage just waiting on me to learn how to drive it.
4) "Free Tibet... with purchase of China"/"Free Tibet... with China of equal or lesser value." This isn't funny and will never be. It becomes really offensive when I'm in a serious discussion with someone else and you butt in because you see my free Tibet stuff.
5) Mental-illness related: "You just have to think happy thoughts!"/"You just need Jesus"/"You're weak if you need medicine."
Who da what now? I suppose not...
i was kidding because of the baby mama comment. just trying to be funny
Maybe not everyone can relate to this one, but those with any kind of chronic illness can. I hate it when you see someone you haven't seen in a while and the first thing they ask you, in a certain uber-concerned syrupy voice "How are you feeling?" I'm sure people are just trying to be nice/concerned/so-full-of-empathy-it-makes-me-want-to-spit... but after hearing it a million times I just want to say "I'm fucking fantastic!"I can also relate to the "only one child?" comment. Especially since my family's circles are all Mormon, and it's just oh-so-sad that I couldn't have more than one. Sure, we would have liked to have another one, but I'm thrilled with the one we have. Perfectly happy with her, and she's not scarred for life that she doesn't have any siblings. (Although she did ask us for a long time if we'd give her a baby sister)
Sometimes I just want to tell people to butt-out.
Oh Sher, my neighbor does that, how are you FEELING bullshit. yech.
Wasn't there a "How are you feeling" thread here on GR? Because that could have been a hornets' nest of ill feeling, I think.
I cringe and want to yell loud cussy things when people ask me if I'm dating anyone... with the implied "YET?!!" and then feel it's their duty to tell me I need to put myself out there more and the icing on the cake to that conversation is, "I'm worried about you." I get that from ex-boyfriends, even.WHAT THE HEEEEELL?!!!
I have had to resist the urge to set up single friends like Heidi with guys I know....but 1) all the single guys I are not suitable for my female friends (um...my single guy friends are losers), and 2) this assumes that A) my single female want to date right now, and B) they can't find dates on their own. Both A and B are insulting, no doubt.
Well, Heidi, we worry about you because we don't want you to turn into Crazy Cat Lady...
By the way, Heidi, I was on the train this morning heading to work, and I saw a woman that looked so much like you, it was unnerving. Un. Nerving. To say the least.
By the way, Heidi, I was on the train this morning heading to work, and I saw a woman that looked so much like you, it was unnerving. Un. Nerving. To say the least.
RandomAnthony wrote: "I have had to resist the urge to set up single friends like Heidi with guys I know....but 1) all the single guys I are not suitable for my female friends (um...my single guy friends are losers), an..."Well, in a weird way I feel somewhat flattered, actually, when a friend tells me (s)he wants to fix me up with a friend - it's like they trust me enough to invest some care in me. Actually, I do want to date. I just haven't met anyone recently who I would date. And I'm not interested in dating someone I don't like just to kill time... I can't get over the assumption that I'd prefer to be in a relationship with anyone to being alone/independent.
Gus wrote: "Well, Heidi, we worry about you because we don't want you to turn into Crazy Cat Lady...God damn it, what's wrong with crazy cat lady??? Why does everyone say that like it's a BAD thing? Just because I have a lot of cats, does not mean I am fucking crazy, OK?? Would everyone think I was crazy if I had a lot of DOGS, or goldfish, or gerbils? What is it about multiple cats that automatically spells "lunatic"?
BTW, I was 40 and had 6 cats and STILL managed to snag myself a man, so having a bunch of fucking cats doesn't neccessarily equal lonely, insane spinsterhood.
Ok, so...things one should never say to Mary...nope, can't think of a thing.
Ok, so...things one should never say to Mary...nope, can't think of a thing. LMAO!
Would everyone think I was crazy if I had a lot of DOGS, or goldfish, or gerbils? Heh...yes, no, and yes? I mean, and really "Yes" for the last one?
Gus wrote: "By the way, Heidi, I was on the train this morning heading to work, and I saw a woman that looked so much l..."Why was it unnerving, Gus? I would never be crazy cat lady - I'm too allergic to cats.
I swear, Heidi, if you saw this woman, you'd have been unnerved, too. You'd think you'd had a twin sister you didn't know about.
i think the goldfish lady and the cat lady should get their clans together for a luncheon
Gus wrote: "I swear, Heidi, if you saw this woman, you'd have been unnerved, too. You'd think you'd had a twin sister you didn't know about."I wish you'd taken a picture (covertly). :| Hmmph (and still kinda cool)!
yeah gus. you could have done the "peace-sign-paris-hilton-kiss-lips" thingie like you were taking a phone pic of yourself BUT SECRETLY had the camera turned around the OTHER way to capture a covert and very spy-like pic of heidi's twinit's just seems too easy....
Mod
Thank you for taking offense. I hate "crazy cat lady" jokes too.
I might give it a shot, Heidi. Heh, heh, I said "shot." Get it?
At some point in my life, I think I could have become "Crazy Cat Man." I dig cats. Even if they do poop everywhere.
At some point in my life, I think I could have become "Crazy Cat Man." I dig cats. Even if they do poop everywhere.
Sally wrote: "Yes, I'm really fond of Mary. Thank you for taking offense. I hate "crazy cat lady" jokes too."
Oh I wasn't really offended. Let's face it, it is a bit weird to have 10 cats. I just keep thinking I'll get it right with the next one....
Kev, you are indeed Crazy Ice Cream Guy with a Mohawk (purple, we hope).I knew the Crazy Cat Lady, and I mean bonkers! She lived in a teeny trailer with no less than 50 cats who ran the joint. They were everywhere, on counters, coming out of the cupboards, everywhere you stepped. This lady, who was ever so nice, just sprinkled cat litter all over the floor so they could go anywhere they pleased, and then ate only cat food herself because she was poor and didn't want them to miss out on what they liked. She had no electricity in her trailer. We used to bring her real food when she got desperate and needed it.
So, I conclude that to aspire to be a true Crazy Cat Lady, it must be a cat to square footage ratio - 50 cats per 500 sf, I think. Plus you have to let them have the run of the house.
That being said, I doubt anyone on this board qualifies. I'm aspiring... but haven't come close yet. ;)
(And Kev, I loved the cat/goldfish luncheon comment!)
My husband knows one. She keeps buying outdoor buildings from him to shelter her ever-expanding population. People know about her and keep dropping off unwanted cats and kittens on her property. She clearly has money and it's great that she takes the poor kitties in, but hubby says she is crazy as a loon.
Kevin "El Liso Grande" wrote: "i could be Crazy Ice Cream Guy
"
What do you mean could be? :-).
"
What do you mean could be? :-).
1. About a year ago a woman with whom I work said, when I lost weight, "You look like a skinny minnie."
2. Today one of my best friends at work, a woman, said my tie was "sassy".
I appreciate the sentiment...but...I am a guy here, ladies! Don't forget!
What should people never say to you?