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Nathan's Writing > Muslim (contains explicit language)

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message 1: by Nathan (last edited Apr 28, 2015 05:54PM) (new)

Nathan | 19 comments MUSLIM

Kareem needed to show Westerners what a true Muslim was. He had to do this for his people. For Allah.
He grabbed his phone so he could film it and upload it. He checked himself in the mirror by the door, staring at his chest. He zipped his black jacket up to the neck, hiding it.
'Allah, help me,' he said. He left the flat, keeping a slow pace as he had fifteen minutes to get to the train station , and it was six minutes away.
Two long blocks from home Kareem reached the highway. He stopped at the first crossing, pressed the button and waited for the green man. A shiny, blue ute slowed up and its passenger poked his head out, a blond guy in his twenties.
'Go back to Eye-rack, camel fucker!' he yelled.
Kareem was going to tell him he was an Afghan, an Afghan-Australian, but the man's head retreated into the car. It sped up suddenly and honked as it fled.
It was the long beard. This happened to Kareem sometimes, even in multicultural Dandenong, and this saddened him. But he'd show them. He'd show the world.
'The pot drips what's in it,' he whispered. It was a quote from a poem by Rumi, the mystic poet and founder of the Dervishes. The words comforted him and he repeated them silently. He'd heard them before but it was only now he understood their meaning. If you're filled with love then love spills out of you and into the world. Likewise with hate.
He reached the station and considered doing it there, but there were many more people in the city.
It took an hour to reach Melbourne from Dandenong and Kareem usually read the Koran on the train. But after yesterday's incident he thought it prudent he shouldn't. Instead he stared out the window, at the concrete landscape and graffiti rushing past.
A few commuters had opened newspapers spread out and a bold, black headline reflected through the glass and repeated down the train. Homegrown Terror.
Yesterday a boy stabbed two police officers in Narre Warren and was shot. Correction. Yesterday a Muslim boy stabbed two police officers in Narre Warren and was shot.
That's why I'm doing it, Kareem thought. That's why I have to do it.
The train stopped and more commuters got on. A Caucasian man entered Kareem's empty berth and sat opposite, in the aisle seat. A Melbourne businessman; it was easy to tell as most of them wore charcoal suits, serious, handsome faces and manicured hands. The man ignored Kareem and opened his newspaper, shielding himself with it.
HOMEGROWN TERROR, and the front of Endeavour Hills Police station wrapped in police tape and forensic officers. Kareem faced the window and stared out. The pot drips what's in it.
The train filled to standing room only as it approached the city. Kareem tried not to fidget or shift too much in his seat as it left Richmond Station. Flinder's Street next. The last stop.
He'd do it at the bottom of the stairs at Flinder's Street. It had a Police Station and hopefully a few of the officers would be around.
The train slowed and stopped. Kareem had to wait until most of the carriage emptied. He turned on his phone and left the train. All he had to do was press the YouTube icon and it uploaded instantly.
He followed the herd up the stairs and into the lobby. Through the gates and underneath the dome. He approached the stairs, dodging punks and goths and made his way down to street level. He stared at Young and Jackson's opposite. The words HOMEGROWN TERROR flickered in red across the digitally wrapped pub.
This was it.
Kareem pressed play on his phone and unzipped his jacket. He shook it off, revealing his blue T-shirt, and the writing scrawled across it in yellow capitals. FREE HUGS!!! and a smiley face beneath. It was written on the back too.
It didn't take long. People stopped and regarded him.
'I'll have a hug.'
He swivelled on the spot. A white teenager, a skater boy with four skater friends behind him. Kareem opened his arms. The boy smiled, stepped into the hug and his friends took photos on their phones. His friends had to have hugs and photos too.
Kareem stayed at the foot of the steps for an hour and a half. He hugged 142 people, three of them police officers urged on by the crowd.

message 2: by Maj, "Chewing-on-the-table"-kind of special (new)

Maj | 537 comments Mod

message 3: by Nathan (new)

Nathan | 19 comments Thank you, Maj.

message 4: by Kamiko (new)

Kamiko (kamiko1108) | 1125 comments It's amazing to see what one person can do. I'm liking this so far, can't wait to read more!

By the way, I think it's spelled "Quar'an" instead of "Koran".

message 5: by Philippa (new)

Philippa It can be spelled differently. Both Kiran and Qur'an are acceptable.

message 6: by Philippa (new)

Philippa Apologies. KORAN. Wow, my spelling mistake defeats the entire point of that post. :-/

message 7: by Maria (new)

Maria Lovely sentiment.
You write very well.

Strictly for constructive reasons:

a- ditto on the spelling of Qur'an
b- a tad bit over exlpaining on Rumi quote

Lovely work. Looking fwrd to reading more.

message 8: by Nathan (last edited Apr 30, 2015 01:41PM) (new)

Nathan | 19 comments Hi everyone,

Thank you so much for the feedback. I enjoyed writing it. City Loop is another favourite and I'd love to get feedback on that one too...

M, you're right about the over explaining of the Rumi quote...I shouldn't treat the readers as morons and in future I'll remember that.

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