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Covers, Blurbs, 1st Line, Query > Query letters! (help, I'm dying)

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message 1: by Maya (new)

Maya Misra | 16 comments I definitely need help on my query letter (it's YA fantasy). I'd be glad to read and review your query letter in exchange. PM me and we can swap.


message 2: by K.M. (new)

K.M. Taylor (kmtaylor) | 45 comments Hi Maya!!

Query letters are so freaking tedious!! Every different agency has different preferences and formats. I'm querying for my debut novel right now so I can empathize with your plight!!

Email me at kiarrataylor@aol.com I'd be happy to help a fellow author out!

-KMT :)


message 3: by Lena (new)

Lena | 172 comments Mod
I know it's hard to put yourself out there, but I'd suggest posting it here for suggestions. I mean, if you're going to send it out for agents to see, you might as well get used to letting others see it!

I can also offer suggestions. I've written what feels like a million of these things!


message 4: by Maya (new)

Maya Misra | 16 comments Sure, I'll put it up. Thanks for the suggestion.



Dear Mr./Ms. ___,

I am writing to you because you represent young adult fantasy novels and [some personalized bit]. In a world where powerful Fae simultaneously coerce humans and walk on their streets like allies, Ansel seizes on the opportunity to tear them down--and get some personal revenge. My book, THE VILLAIN, is an 83,000 word novel written entirely from the villain's point of view.

Ansel does not start out villainous. He just hates the Fae, but for good reason. He should have inherited Lordship of his village until the day the Fae, a race that is in every way more powerful than humans, marched in and destroyed his home and his family. The Prince of Fae, Lupis, is responsible for this, and Ansel detests and fears him. Years later, Ansel is prepared to reclaim his status as a Lord when he comes of age on his seventeenth birthday. His future is assured, for the King has promised to restore his title.

However, Prince Lupis is ever-present in his life, always in the background but never gone for long. Ansel feels his own powerlessness sharply. So when a Fae, embittered against her own race, offers to teach Ansel magic, he cannot resist. Magic is what makes the Fae so superior to humans, and Ansel seizes on the chance to change this once and for all. But magic has dangerous consequences that Ansel cannot and will not see. To save himself, he must give up everything he stands for. If he does not, then he becomes the villain.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

[name and contact info]


message 5: by Lena (new)

Lena | 172 comments Mod
This is really long and complicated. It feels more like a synopsis than a query. I'd streamline and cut from this to shorten it. Start with the big event that sets off the action in your novel. This seems heavy on backstory.


message 6: by [deleted user] (new)

I agree with Lena, and some additional points. What you've written here starts well, but it ends up more like a back cover or flyleaf blurb. An agent wants to know what else you've written, who would want to read your book, and most importantly, a very short, clear synopsis of who does what to whom, and how it turns out. The ending, in other words. Hope this helps.


message 7: by Maya (new)

Maya Misra | 16 comments Thanks for the feedback! I'll definitely work on streamlining my query more.


message 8: by D.A. (new)

D.A. Paul (dapaul) Okay, this might be stupid, but everyone says "PM me"

What is PM?

I read that and thought I was only supposed to comment in the afternoon. It's the only PM I know.


message 9: by D.A. (new)

D.A. Paul (dapaul) Not related to PM (whatever that is), this is what I might change for my query. I tried sending out queries in the past and never had much luck, so, yes. I hope I helped just a little bit. I cut some stuff out since I didn’t need all the info to get hooked on the idea. Good luck!
Dear Mr./Ms. ___,

I am writing to you because you represent young adult fantasy novels and [some personalized bit]. My book, THE VILLAIN, is an 83,000 word novel written entirely from the villain's point of view.

Ansel does not start out villainous. He just hates the Fae, but for good reason. He should have inherited Lordship of his village until the day the Fae, a race more powerful than humans, marched in (in to where? Name of Village) and destroyed his home and his family. The Prince of Fae, Lupis, is responsible for this (destruction), and Ansel (both) detests and fears him. Years later, Ansel is prepared to reclaim his status as a Lord when he comes of age on his seventeenth birthday. His future is assured, for the King has promised to restore his title.
However, Prince Lupis is ever-present in his life, always in the background but never gone for long. Ansel feels his own powerlessness sharply, so when a Fae, embittered against her own race, offers to teach Ansel magic, (he accepts). (Unable to resist the temptation of dangerous magic, Ansel soon becomes the villain).

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,


message 10: by Sandra (new)

Sandra Holladay (sandrah48) | 5 comments FYI, PM stands for 'private message.'


message 11: by D.A. (new)

D.A. Paul (dapaul) Thank you!


message 12: by Maya (new)

Maya Misra | 16 comments I guess you learn something new every day. :)

And thanks for looking over my query!


message 13: by Veronica (last edited May 29, 2015 04:02AM) (new)

Veronica Bianchi | 20 comments Check this blog out. It helped me a lot when it came to query letters. This guy used to be an agent and he talks about how he liked his query letters.

http://blog.nathanbransford.com/2006/...

p.s. Hope it helps!


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