soooo I wrote a poem (its kinda long)

[brigitte ୨୧]

I was in the shower and feeling poetic, so i decided to write a poem. Its late for me so if it sounds stupid or cringey or anything im super tired and have been studying all day. Please give me completely honest opinions i will take your criticism

Myself and 6
Existing beyond unmoving walls painted blue
In a room sits a dog bed, gone cold from the weather
Gone cold from the ghost who occupies it, a dearly loved friend who's time came to an end
Pitied, lonely, blue
A girl hides in her mattress at night
The monsters under her bed and in her closet and living in her soul can't get her there
Peering out the covers when she sees a light
Curious is the wick to the candle of truth
Or the candle of lies
And she sees that beyond the light is a hand
The warm hand of a smiling stranger
Reaching for her
Wordlessly welcoming her
The lonely, blue girl reaches for the hand and is pulled away
Entering a world of sunshine and rainbows and laughter and happiness
Friends hug her and tell jokes and the girl has never felt this way before
Like she finally found her place in this cruel, unfair world
Every night the hands of new friends welcome her back
But one of the hands has gone cold
The veins are black and flow with something that once was love
Hate
Hate and evil spreads until it's corrupted your mind
It doesn't stop there
It spreads unto the people who still dwell in the sun
It poisons the air
The cold hand that once welcomes you now wraps it's hands around your throat
A girl is trapped
Trapped is a word with so so many meanings and all of them describe life
Unable to escape
Unable to go further than what you already know
Unable to fight back
Holding a knife out to the girl is a cold hand of a once friend with black veins
The girl has become familiar with knives
Knife cuts skin, blade pierces flesh
The girl tried cutting away the black veins, trying to kill the monster that had grown from a mustard seed
to a tree in her heart
Monsters can't be killed
But they can be dimmed
When you try to refuse the hand beyond the light welcoming you at night
You are pulled from under her sheets and forced to continue this act
It's thunderstorms and depression and revenge and doubting yourself
Telling yourself you aren't enough
You have become the monster
The last grains of sand spill onto the hill trapped within a glass
My time has passed
But maybe
Maybe there is hope because after thunderstorms there's a rainbow
Maybe is a word that can't be grasped
Out of reach
But holds possibilities of a day where you are the one to finally reach out your cold hand and grasp it

[Emma!]

Its at the same time dark and hopeful. I like it!