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OMG I got goosebumps reading this! I am so sorry for everything you had/have to go through and I really hope, things will get better for you! You are so strong and amazing!
Mod
This was earlier this year that I wrote this so I'm doing much much better now.
"I want to build a future where I don't flinch when I hear footsteps."that's actually so real, and i'm sorry you've had to go through all of that <3 love you always, especially when you feel like no one does
Mod
Mine is below:
I am someone who feels things deeply, maybe too deeply for the world I live in. I am someone who notices everything, even when I pretend not to. I carry old pain in my body like secret tattoos that no one else can see. I’m tired of pretending I'm okay when I’m not. I am a fighter, not because I want to fight, but because I’ve had to. I am someone who wants more for myself, even when parts of me feel stuck. I am the girl who still dreams, even in places that tried to kill her dreams. I am strong because I have been made to be strong. I am soft too, even when no one seems to notice. I am a protector, especially for those younger and smaller than me. I am the kind of person who feels guilty for existing too loudly. I am trying to forgive myself for needing space and comfort. I am not the roles I was forced into. I am not the anger that was thrown at me. I am the quiet resistance growing in the cracks of my heart. I want safety. I want my life to belong to me. I am someone who aches for connection but is careful about trust. I am the older sister trying to be a shield when she’s still building her own armor. I want to be seen. I want to be heard. I want to be loved without conditions. I am still figuring out what love even means. I carry guilt that doesn’t belong to me. I carry shame that others forced onto my shoulders. I carry strength that no one taught me but I learned anyway. I am someone who plans — because not planning feels dangerous. I dream about a soft life but live in a hard one. I am someone who finds comfort in strangers because strangers listen. I am loyal, even when it hurts. I keep secrets, even when they burn inside me. I am someone who says "I'm fine" because it feels safer than telling the truth. I want freedom more than anything. I crave peace like a starving thing. I am tired but I keep moving. I am someone who dreams of building a life she never had. I want to own my choices. I want to choose myself first. I am the girl who feels guilty when she chooses herself. I am trying to unlearn that guilt. I want to become the woman my younger self needed. I am someone who sees beauty in brokenness. I am someone who believes healing is possible. I am still scared of what healing might look like. I hide the worst parts of me because I'm afraid no one will stay. I am someone who finds safety in planning, lists, goals. I am someone who uses words like armor and wings. I want to be extraordinary. I believe I already am, even if it doesn’t always feel like it. I am trying to build a new story out of the ashes of the old one. I know what loneliness tastes like. I know what disappointment sounds like. I know what survival feels like. I want more than survival. I want joy. I want adventure. I want softness without apology. I want to build a future where I don't flinch when I hear footsteps. I want to make my dreams so loud they drown out the past. I am someone who chooses hope, even on the days I don't feel it. I have learned to mask my fear with anger. I have learned to mask my sadness with silence. I am unlearning all the ways I had to protect myself. I am discovering who I am when no one is watching. I am the one who keeps promises to herself now. I am the one who dares to imagine being free. I want to rewrite the ending of my story. I want to be my own hero. I am someone who values truth, even when it hurts. I am someone who values loyalty, even when it is hard. I believe in the power of small beginnings. I believe in second chances — even for myself. I am someone who can dream of making $120K a month and still feel scared about tomorrow. I am the kind of girl who loves too hard and trusts too little.
I am sensitive to the needs of others but often numb to my own. I am learning to listen to myself more. I am learning to validate my own pain. I am someone who never really had safety but is determined to create it. I am terrified of failure and still willing to try. I am someone who finds herself in books and dreams of living inside them. I grieve the family I wish I had. I am someone who holds onto hope, even when it feels foolish. I want to become the type of woman who makes younger me proud. I want to make art out of my hurt. I am someone who doesn't want to be understood — just loved. I find freedom in music, in writing, in moments that feel bigger than pain. I am someone who struggles with feeling enough. I am learning that I don't have to earn love. I am teaching myself that my worth is not negotiable. I am building boundaries even when they make me cry. I am someone who is often overlooked but never truly invisible. I want to rise so fiercely that no one can pretend I don't exist. I am tired of apologizing for my existence. I want my life to feel like mine. I want to choose softness over survival. I want to believe that life can be beautiful without hurting first. I am someone who tries harder than anyone realizes. I am someone who still cries in silence. I am someone who still dreams in color. I have not given up — even when it felt easier to. I am someone who notices the small kindnesses, the fleeting magic. I am building a life made of soft mornings and loud victories. I am someone who wants to dance in freedom without looking back. I want to live without flinching. I want to live without apologizing. I want to live without shrinking. I am someone who isn't afraid of starting over anymore. I am proud of the parts of me that refused to die. I am stubborn in the ways that matter most. I am someone who learns from pain instead of surrendering to it. I am someone who will fight for herself now. I am worthy of the future I'm dreaming of. I am allowed to want more than survival. I am allowed to shine, even if it makes others uncomfortable. I am allowed to change the rules that hurt me. I am allowed to speak without permission. I am allowed to rebuild my life on my own terms. I am not selfish for choosing myself. I am not wrong for dreaming bigger. I am not broken because I hurt. I am someone who refuses to be small. I am someone who believes in rising again. I am someone who deserves softness, sweetness, love, and freedom. I am someone who knows she is capable of more. I am the architect of my future. I am a warrior dressed as a girl. I am a poet made of survival. I am someone who can learn how to thrive. I am someone who will make her dreams real. I am enough right now, even if no one says it. I am worthy right now, even if no one believes it. I am someone who is both hurt and healing. I am someone who is both broken and brilliant. I am someone who is rebuilding her life, one brave choice at a time. I am someone who can and will change her life. I am the beginning of my own revolution. I am the soft rebellion the world never expected. I am me — Khadijah — and that is more than enough.