Self-Harm

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

TW: this topic discusses self-harm and related subjects in detail

Self-harm, also known as Non-Suicidal Self-Injury (NSSI), is any act against yourself with the intent of inflicting pain or discomfort, causing injury or bleeding, or to punish yourself, but without the intention of ending your life.

Forms of self-harm include:
- Cutting
- Burning
- Scratching
- Depriving yourself of necessities like food, water, or medical treatment
- Punching yourself
- Intentionally overworking yourself
- And more

See a detailed article about NSSI here: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health...

In this topic, suggest coping mechanisms, ask questions, and provide support.

If you'd like to learn about movements helping people recover from self-harm, find them in this folder: https://www.goodreads.com/topic/group...

Please do not vent here about anything unrelated to self-harm. Our venting topics can be found here: https://www.goodreads.com/topic/group...

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

All self-harm is valid, no matter how severe or consistent! You deserve to feel supported, cared for, and to recover ❤️

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

Hey all, I just want to share my experience with self-harm. Big TW for SH, depression, and suicidal ideation

Early 2025 I started slipping into a depression due to stress with my friends, family tension, and self-dislike around school and my (at the time undiagnosed) ADHD. Frustration was building up inside of me and I didn't know how to let it out. I started having dangerous compulsions and imagined doing awful things to my body, and started scratching and biting myself to release tension and feel something. In April, on a family Easter trip, I was really stressed and had a lot of panic attacks and being around my family constantly in an unfamiliar environment with no "safe place" pushed me over the edge. I was alone in the guest room at my grandma's, dissociating badly, and grabbed a pair of precision craft scissors and cut for the first time, not that deep but I can still see the scars. After that I couldn't stop, it got worse in the following month or two and I kept turning to it to release tension, and got addicted to the adrenaline/dopamine rush and would just cut even when I didn't "need" it. My depression got worse, family stuff got worse, school got worse, I became suicidal ~June. My mom found out about all this, and I got sent to a psychiatrist and got a diagnosis for Generalized Anxiety Disorder, depression, and finally ADHD. I got sent to therapy early August. I was doing a bit better in September, mostly gotten out of my addiction but still really suicidal. Idk how I am now, not good, not bad, but trying my best.

Anyway I just wanted to share my experience in case anyone relates or has advice or just wants to hear from another person struggling with SH. Please please remember guys self-harm and suicide are NEVER the answer and please don't get started on sh because it's really addictive. Stay safe out there 💕

[ophelia ⋆˚࿔]

aww I’m really sorry you went through/are going through that, I know how hard it is <3

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

Ophelia ˚࿔ wrote: "aww I’m really sorry you went through/are going through that, I know how hard it is <3"

Thank you <3

[ophelia ⋆˚࿔]

TW: sh, depression

I just have a question about if somethings valid… so every time I hear about sh it’s with scissors or a knife or blade, and I sometimes feel like it means that other sh isn’t actually sh or that bad… like when I first started I was just scratching myself really hard, but then I started using a key (yes, a key, it was all I had…), and I still have scars on my leg that haven’t really faded even after a few months, but I feel like because it wasn’t the “normal” type it doesn’t matter… and ik it does but I just don’t feel like it ig (btw as of right now I’m a week or so clean)

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

Ophelia ˚࿔ wrote: "TW: sh, depression

I just have a question about if somethings valid… so every time I hear about sh it’s with scissors or a knife or blade, and I sometimes feel like it means that other sh isn’t a..."

Any sort of act to intentionally cause yourself harm or discomfort is self-harm. You are 100% valid. Just because it's not the commonly-talked-about type doesn't make it "not bad". Whether it bleeds or scars or not it's still valid. I hope this helps.

And congrats on a week clean, keep going <3

[ophelia ⋆˚࿔]

Tysm, that means a lot <3

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

Ophelia ˚࿔ wrote: "Tysm, that means a lot <3"

Ofc <3

[nidhi (matching with my sisss)]

Tw: burning, Sh?

Does turning the shower up really high count as self harm ?

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

Nidhi ;) wrote: "Tw: burning, Sh?

Does turning the shower up really high count as self harm ?"

Depends on what reason. Were you turning it up really high to burn yourself?

[nidhi (matching with my sisss)]

Barnette ⋆˙⟡ wrote: "Nidhi ;) wrote: "Tw: burning, Sh?

Does turning the shower up really high count as self harm ?"

Depends on what reason. Were you turning it up really high to burn yourself?"

Kind of. I was a bit angry at myself.

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

Nidhi ;) wrote: "Barnette ⋆˙⟡ wrote: "Nidhi ;) wrote: "Tw: burning, Sh?

Does turning the shower up really high count as self harm ?"

Depends on what reason. Were you turning it up really high to burn yourself?"

..."

In my opinion, that counts as self-harm. I'm sorry.

[Thibaud]

Something that keeps me from doing self-harm is going outdoors, knitting, reading books, whittling sticks, painting, and drawing. Setting boundaries like how I use the quote from Robert Jones Jr , "We can disagree and still
love each other unless your
disagreement is rooted in my
oppression and denial of my
humanity and right to exist" Whittling does involve using a knife, so maybe be mindful of this one. Stay away from social media, alcohol, and guns. Only use guns when calm along with knives.

[⋆｡°✩ Sol {Hiatus}]

Nidhi ;) wrote: "Tw: burning, Sh?

Does turning the shower up really high count as self harm ?"

it has if you did it purposely just to feel it being too hot, and its been marked as sh on some things ive watched

[⋆｡°✩ Sol {Hiatus}]

Tw: Sh (obvi)

'm 2 days clean so far, only because I'm scared honestly..Im terrified of going too far then regretting it yknow? And everytime it gets deeper and deeper and I wish I could just stop. My last ones are weeks old and still not fully healed which freaks me out and my new one was..pretty bad and I hope it heals quick but I know it wont. The immediate regret but peace after is so scary but I also can't tell anyone in real life.

[Sage]

⋆｡°✩ Sol {My Gf's Version} wrote: "Tw: Sh (obvi)

'm 2 days clean so far, only because I'm scared honestly..Im terrified of going too far then regretting it yknow? And everytime it gets deeper and deeper and I wish I could just sto..."

Damn that's literally me (except I'm not 2 days clean). I'm sorry, that sucks and it also sucks that you don't have anyone to talk to.

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

⋆｡°✩ Sol {My Gf's Version} wrote: "Tw: Sh (obvi)

'm 2 days clean so far, only because I'm scared honestly..Im terrified of going too far then regretting it yknow? And everytime it gets deeper and deeper and I wish I could just sto..."

I get that so much I'm so sorry. Just keep fighting to stay clean, 2 days is amazing.

I'm ~5 days I think but stuff from over 2 weeks ago still isn't healed and it scares me too. Stay strong

[⋆｡°✩ Sol {Hiatus}]

Barnette ⋆˙⟡ wrote: "⋆｡°✩ Sol {My Gf's Version} wrote: "Tw: Sh (obvi)

'm 2 days clean so far, only because I'm scared honestly..Im terrified of going too far then regretting it yknow? And everytime it gets deeper and..."

you too love <3 (platonic I swear😭)

[⋆｡°✩ Sol {Hiatus}]

Sage wrote: "⋆｡°✩ Sol {My Gf's Version} wrote: "Tw: Sh (obvi)

'm 2 days clean so far, only because I'm scared honestly..Im terrified of going too far then regretting it yknow? And everytime it gets deeper and..."

You're doing amazing too, just being here and pulling through

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

⋆｡°✩ Sol {My Gf's Version} wrote: "Barnette ⋆˙⟡ wrote: "⋆｡°✩ Sol {My Gf's Version} wrote: "Tw: Sh (obvi)

'm 2 days clean so far, only because I'm scared honestly..Im terrified of going too far then regretting it yknow? And everyti..."

Thank you <3 (and I understand nws 😭)

[AVA (INACTIVE!)]

TW: sh & sa??

Awh ml, I'm so sorry. I've had history with sa before and I know how scary it might be. Obviously you have your own story so you might not be that same as mine. I will never walk in your shoes but I hope you're okay. I started sh last night and I couldn't stop. Let's hope it'll get better. 🫂

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

TW for description of SH scars

Does anyone else struggle with shame and stress about their scars regularly?

I'm at a water park and have been wearing my swimsuit all day. It's a tank top and long shorts. I have scars all over my legs, large white visible ones, and some less visible ones on my arm and shoulder. I'm scared of what people think if they see them, I keep constantly tugging my shorts down farther and trying not to show the underside of my arm. Do people think it's horrifying? Gross? I'm too young to deal with that stuff? Do they pity me? I would hate that so much if they did. I don't want people to notice them. I want to feel seen but I don't want strangers seeing what I've done to myself and for it to be on my body forever.

I often stress that it's attention-seeking to have these markings on my skin and to show them, as if I'm looking for pity. I know I didn't do it for attention. I know that. But is it attention-seeking to show them? Do I subconsciously want pity or just for people to know this about me?

How do I deal with this shame and convince myself that it's not attention seeking, or fix my behavior if it is attention seeking?

[ophelia ⋆˚࿔]

Honestly I relate to that a lot… none of my scars are white yet, even the ones that are literally months old (idk why but I heal realllly slowly so they’re still like pinkish red after around 4 months), and yeah I never even wear shorts because of them… I’m really sorry you’ve been going through that 💗 you aren’t attention seeking, and no one will judge you for it, and it’s not gross. It just shows that you got through those hard times. I don’t really have any advice but yeah I’m really sorry you went through that <3

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

Ophelia ˚࿔ (semi-hiatus) wrote: "Honestly I relate to that a lot… none of my scars are white yet, even the ones that are literally months old (idk why but I heal realllly slowly so they’re still like pinkish red after around 4 mon..."

Thank you so much <3 I'm sorry you relate and don't even feel comfortable wearing shorts but I'm also proud of you for getting through what you've been through and still going <3

[Sai.‧ ⊹°‧ &#x1319d; &#x1319f; &#x1319e; ·｡⊹]

Barnette ⋆˙⟡ wrote: "TW for description of SH scars

Does anyone else struggle with shame and stress about their scars regularly?

I'm at a water park and have been wearing my swimsuit all day. It's a tank top and lon..."

i think that wanting for your struggles to be seen is really valid. don't suppress it, you deserve to be seen and to be cared for and about. it is not "attention seeking" just to want this, because this is something you deserve <3 i can't relate to having sh scars but i've definitely felt like everyone is judging me for something before, and trust me that your mind is blowing it way out of proportion. no one actually judges the things you feel insecure about. they really don't. just have confidence, love yourself, and try to live life the best you can, because you're amazing and you can do this <3

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

Sai :) wrote: "Barnette ⋆˙⟡ wrote: "TW for description of SH scars

Does anyone else struggle with shame and stress about their scars regularly?

I'm at a water park and have been wearing my swimsuit all day. It..."

That actually really helps thank you so much <3

[sand (emalie)]

TW talk of self harm scars
yall are amazing people who deserve to not hurt anymore i hope yall feel better and i have a question how bad does it need to get to where its worrying..? like how many scars? i dont really know how bad it is for me i only scratch or tug at my hair or bite myself sometimes but when does it get too bad to where i have to get help?

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

sand (emalie) wrote: "TW talk of self harm scars
yall are amazing people who deserve to not hurt anymore i hope yall feel better and i have a question how bad does it need to get to where its worrying..? like how many ..."

Any self-harm is bad and you should try to stop if you can, but it really only needs professional medical attention if it's really deep (bleeding for multiple hours and/or needs stitches) or has gotten infected. Because you don't do open wounds you hopefully don't have to worry about that but that does NOT make your self-harm less valid and I really hope you can recover <3

[Ava (matching with the BAAAM Fam)]

So i have a for, of ocd called Dermatilliomania, that started after my grandpa died. Basically i pick amd stratch at bumps or anthijg on my arms or face to the point that i have stopped showing my arms

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

Ava wrote: "So i have a for, of ocd called Dermatilliomania, that started after my grandpa died. Basically i pick amd stratch at bumps or anthijg on my arms or face to the point that i have stopped showing my ..."

Is that considered self-harm?

[Ava (matching with the BAAAM Fam)]

Barnette ⋆˙⟡ (my girlfriend's version) wrote: "Ava wrote: "So i have a for, of ocd called Dermatilliomania, that started after my grandpa died. Basically i pick amd stratch at bumps or anthijg on my arms or face to the point that i have stopped..."

yeah

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

Ava (matching with the BAAAM fam) wrote: "Barnette ⋆˙⟡ (my girlfriend's version) wrote: "Ava wrote: "So i have a for, of ocd called Dermatilliomania, that started after my grandpa died. Basically i pick amd stratch at bumps or anthijg on m..."

May I ask why it's classified as SH? I don't know much about OCD but isn't it just a complusive behaviour, not something with intention?

[Ava (matching with the BAAAM Fam)]

Barnette ⋆˙⟡ (my girlfriend's version) wrote: "Ava (matching with the BAAAM fam) wrote: "Barnette ⋆˙⟡ (my girlfriend's version) wrote: "Ava wrote: "So i have a for, of ocd called Dermatilliomania, that started after my grandpa died. Basically i..."

it can involve self-harm-related thoughts (harm OCD) or compulsions

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

Ohh gotcha!

[[deleted user]]

Barnette ⋆˙⟡ (my girlfriend's version) wrote: "TW for description of SH scars

Does anyone else struggle with shame and stress about their scars regularly?

I'm at a water park and have been wearing my swimsuit all day. It's a tank top and lon..."

So I know you must have posted this awhile ago but I go through a lot of similar feelings from my own scars. I have a lot of them that are exposed regularly due to me being on my schools swim team (this does include a lot of mine that are white as well). In reality, I know that I can't tell you what others may think or if they will notice them or not, but I know I have told you before that no one knows exactly why or how they got there. Only you and those you trust to tell know about the stories behind them, and in my mind, noticing scars on others just shows to me of how strong they are. That they went through a rough time no matter what it was and they got out of it, stronger than before.

As a small story, I went to a summer camp and one of the younger counselors had a couple of giant scars on his arm. He told us why they were there- he got attacked by a freaking bear. Was that was I was expecting, do I even know if that's true? Of course not, but everyone never judged him for it, and all of the curious younger kids treated him like a superhero the rest of the camp. Your scars reflect you growing and healing, whether from accidents, self harm, surgery, etc- they are apart of you. Please love them as you should love the rest of yourself <3

[✦ autumn ✦ (to write is to breathe) ✧ SEMI IA]

Barnette ⋆˙⟡ (my girlfriend's version) wrote: "TW for description of SH scars

Does anyone else struggle with shame and stress about their scars regularly?

I'm at a water park and have been wearing my swimsuit all day. It's a tank top and lon..."

I wasn't in the group when this comment was made, but the comment above drew my attention to it.

When I see people with scars I'm never disgusted or horrified. Nor do I judge the person (that thought doesn't even occur to me.) Actually, it gives me a sense of respect for them, even as a stranger. Not only because I know they have been through so much and still persevered, but also because of the sheer courage it takes to not hide those scars. I admire people who have sh scars, because you have more strength than I would ever have. 💙

(I hope it doesn't make you uncomfortable that I replied, I know haven't really been able to interact much.)

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

[ Ollie ] - semi hiatus wrote: "Barnette ⋆˙⟡ (my girlfriend's version) wrote: "TW for description of SH scars

Does anyone else struggle with shame and stress about their scars regularly?

I'm at a water park and have been weari..."

I love that so much, Ollie. Thank you for taking the time to say that. It really helped. (/genuine)

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

Autumn wrote: "Barnette ⋆˙⟡ (my girlfriend's version) wrote: "TW for description of SH scars

Does anyone else struggle with shame and stress about their scars regularly?

I'm at a water park and have been weari..."

That doesn't make me uncomfortable at all, it actually means so much to me. Thank you for saying that, it's beautiful and genuinely really empowering <3

[Reagan]

TW- Anxiety, SH

So I have pretty severe OCD and anxiety. I would never think of harming myself, the thought terrifies me. However, (this has only happened a few times) but if I were to get mad at myself I’d sometimes cut myself never to the point of bleeding but often breaking the skin. But that is rare and I am getting therapy which will hopefully help. Sending prayers to all of you struggling with this 🙏😊 and thanks mods for creating this group! 💖

[Aspen~Ella]

💜 I also struggle with these things. You are not alone, stay safe!

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

Reagan wrote: "TW- Anxiety, SH

So I have pretty severe OCD and anxiety. I would never think of harming myself, the thought terrifies me. However, (this has only happened a few times) but if I were to get mad at ..."

I hope therapy helps you!! And (as the mod) thank you <3

[Riley]

i have at least 12 scars on my body and i hate it

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

Riley wrote: "i have at least 12 scars on my body and i hate it"

Gosh I'm so sorry you went through that. Why do you hate it though specifically?

[potatoe]

Tw: SH
The amount of scars on my legs from kicking, punching, and scratching myself. Does pulling your own hair count as sh?

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

Bookbunny (semi hiatus for a bit) wrote: "Tw: SH
The amount of scars on my legs from kicking, punching, and scratching myself. Does pulling your own hair count as sh?"

It depends on why you pull your hair. Is it intentional to lose hair or cause pain?

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

I should count my scars one of these days 😭

[[deleted user]]

Barnette ⋆˙⟡ (my girlfriend's version) wrote: "I should count my scars one of these days 😭"

Tw: sh of course

tried counting mine and stopped at 110, kind of almost crazy to me because I never realized how many there are.

[Barnette ⋆˙⟡ [my girlfriend's version]]

[ Ollie ] - semi hiatus wrote: "Barnette ⋆˙⟡ (my girlfriend's version) wrote: "I should count my scars one of these days 😭"

Tw: sh of course

tried counting mine and stopped at 110, kind of almost crazy to me because I never rea..."

Yeah. I imagine I'll feel the same way.

[✦ autumn ✦ (to write is to breathe) ✧ SEMI IA]

kinda off topic but i read that sentence and immediately thought of stars😭

so many stars that you can’t count them all, but the sky is beautiful with/without the stars.