Hiding Yourself

[QuillPenLove]

Do you ever feel like you hide your true self from people? Why do you think Yozo did this so much?

[Melly]

The answer to the first part of this question is simple enough, yes, I do. The reason is much more complicated. I was raised by a narcissist who used shame and guilt like a weapon. My first long-term dating experience was with another narcissist who excelled at making everything seem like it was somehow my fault. I came out of that with an anxiety disorder that makes me over analyze every interaction I have with people. Even now, after years of therapy and a plethora of coping mechanisms I still often question if what I'm saying or doing is acceptable.

I think, in Yozo's case, that it became easier, in a way, to act like someone else. He became what people wanted or expected him to be because he was so convinced that if people saw the real him they would act like the wild animals "more horrible than any lion, crocodile, or dragon" that he believed to be hiding inside people's true nature.

[QuillPenLove]

Melly wrote: "The answer to the first part of this question is simple enough, yes, I do. The reason is much more complicated. I was raised by a narcissist who used shame and guilt like a weapon. My first long-te..."

Yes, I believe it was definitely a coping mechanism for him.
It’s incredible how even when two people suffer the same trauma, they will respond and cope in completely different ways. Our fears, emotions, upbringing, etc all play such a major role in how we deal with things.

I’m so sorry for the trauma you had to live through. I hope you become stronger day by day.