Buddy Read for My Friends by Frederik Backman

[Joy D]

Amy, I think you will like it if you read to the end, which is where the lightness resides.

[NancyJ]

Amy wrote: "I am daunted about starting. I love Frederick Backman, and have adored every single one of his books. But between the length and the alleged sadness, darkness and violence, its daunting. Its the th..."

I think you’re right that you are likely to appreciate the best in the story. Yes, there is abuse and sadness, but there is much love and joy in the story too. It’s making me remember some of my experiences as a teenager, both good and bad. I remember the feeling of being “saved” by friendship. I want to savor those good memories.

I’m quibbling with some of the same little things that bugged me in the narration of Anxious People. The snarky tone, and the word idiot are even more pronounced in this book, but I suppose it fits because teenagers talk like that.

Backman often has a few characters referred to by their jobs/roles rather than their names. It was very helpful in the Beartown books because there were so many characters. In this book, it made it easier for me to spot the interesting character contrasts between the art teacher and the custodian. “The Artist “ though is bugging me. I’d like him to have a real name. I wonder if there will be a twisty reason for it. (Like the neutral pronoun in Anxious People).

[Algernon (Darth Anyan)]

NancyJ wrote: "Amy wrote: "I am daunted about starting. I love Frederick Backman, and have adored every single one of his books. But between the length and the alleged sadness, darkness and violence, its daunting..."

'I wonder if there will be a twisty reason for it. '

I finished the book today and this is one of the unanswered questions that helped me reach the finish line. Of course, many readers will find a reason for revealing the true name only in the last couple of chapters, but for me the device remained only an affectation, a way for the author to reinforce to idea that the boy is special, extraordinary, high above us simple mortals. Or maybe he is every misunderstood teenager who ever lived, the sparkle of genius that lives in all of us and is more often than not extinguished by bullies and inconsiderate adults. He doesn't need a name because he is legion.

[NancyJ]

Algernon (Darth Anyan) wrote: "NancyJ wrote: "Amy wrote: "I am daunted about starting. I love Frederick Backman, and have adored every single one of his books. But between the length and the alleged sadness, darkness and violenc..."

Regardless of how I’ll feel about the author’s decision later, I really love your explanation, especially the part “or maybe he is every …”

[Algernon (Darth Anyan)]

I may have hated the style of presentation, but the core ideas of Backman are as clear and strong in his latest novel as in his debut one about Ove... and not much changed - friends and kindness will help you overcome trauma.

[Jason]

Joy D wrote: "I had a slightly different reaction. I don't see it as black and white thinking. I see it as an ode to creativity. Many (maybe even most) creative people face huge challenges to acceptance and pres..."

I am in agreement with your views.

My biggest take away from this book is the fact that sometimes we don't have the right words. Sometimes we don't show love the best way possible. But love comes across anyway. We show it the best way we can. The past story is very much a "Stand by Me" story.

Also, the power we have when we care about others and are not so self-absorbed or confined to all socially defined norms. I think that point is made about the painting and how its valued by collectors vs art enthusiasts as well as the painting vs graffiti. The end is adults and teenagers coming together to help each other.

Lastly, how is value measured? What is true value? The price put on something? The way it makes people feel? The change that it can cause?

I do think the essence of the story is much stronger than the story itself. This dark, depressing, and horrific book leaves this feeling of hope in the end. The ability to be in the present, in the nows, in the good moments.

One of my favorite character arcs is Teds brother. (view spoiler)[At first it seems like he would become just like his father. He probably would have. But it's also evident later that he does love his little brother, but it took just someone believing in him. He was jealous of Ted's friends and the fact that they had Ted as a friend. The people you surround yourself with is important. (hide spoiler)]

Sorry for going on and on. I have been processing this book for a while now.

[Sarah]

I am a retired school psychologist and usually abandon books with abuse because it's too much like being at work. However, the art, teenagers and humor kept me turning pages. Laughter was used as a coping strategy and I like the idea Backman poses that people who share laughter with you may inform that these are your friends, your people. "You can only escape loneliness and feel belonging when you find your people." Early in the editing process there was a proofreader who commented, the word 'laugh' was overused (guess this was not one of his friends). The teen rebellion is really a coping strategy to refuse adulthood and stay a child, testing the boundaries as they mature. These are composite characters who Backman says he "grew up with those kids". Art emanating from a town by the sea provides mood and inspiration. The pier represents connection, contemplation (sitting on the dock by the bay), and defense for me. I found a painting from a local artist that fits my mental image (can anyone tell me how to insert images into these posts?) and I'm thinking of taking up the painting challenge from p71, Paint Laughter or Paint The Sea. Anyone want to join me?

[Amy]

I am excited to start - and am at the point that if its going to be a reality for me, then I have to check into the library every day at the speed reads section and see if it turns up. I am otherwise number 327 or so out of 798. So unless someone has a hard copy they want to drop off in the mail, (I would pay for the book and the mailing), I am starting my daily library visits. I am sure it will turn up somewhat soon with that plan...

[Amy]

Day one of speed read library check…. I went in there, and it wasn’t there. So I went to speak to one of the nice librarians who was quite informative. He explained to me how the speed reads work in terms of looking for it outright….. and that I wasn’t even really looking in the right place. Then he showed me how to look into my account on the phone and figure out whether or not there was one waiting. And if one turned up, I could call them up and they would hold it for me for a 1/2 hour. Turns out there are three of these out for speed reads and if I check every day on my phone, it seems one will turn up. As for the waitlist, I am number 322 out of 727. So I think the speed reads are the way to go…. How nice that it’s just a click and a pick up away. I will keep you all informed of my progress.

[Sue]

I was finally able to get and read my copy. What an emotional ride!

I listened to the audio during a plane ride and finally gave up trying not to cry in public.

I didn't grow up in the sort of environment described here, for which I'm very grateful. But I did have that one friend who really "got" me, and it made all the difference.

Here's my review: my link text

[Algernon (Darth Anyan)]

Did anyone else notice the conversation about Basquiat in one of the later chapters? I think Backman borrowed a lot from the young artist biography and from his artwork when he constructed his nameless teenage artist in the novel.
Reading about Jean-Michel Basquiat after I finished the book helped me somehow to understand the rants about people throwing big money at vulnerable people and also why I had so much trouble imagining what the famous painting by the sea looked like. It probably looked a lot like the ones painted by Basquiat.

[Holly R W]

@Algernon, I've now looked up Basquiat, a painter that I'm unfamiliar with. He painted a work called "Seascape." His style would mesh with comments about The Artist's work in the book: bold, abstract and startling. Basquiat also incorporates graffiti, which would have meshed with The Artist's style.

While reading the book, I had a rather fuzzy image of The Artist's painting, that was nothing like what I saw of Basquiat's work.

[Joy D]

It's not like what I pictured, either.

[Jason]

Wow. Not what I was picturing. I was imagining a Monet and was thinking, how could they not see the three on the pier. I get it now.

[Amy]

Got the book off the speed read and started it. So excited and also to be able to be somewhat in time for the buddy read.

I am already in love with this book and this very special author. What a shame I have to do anything other than read today...

[Amy]

At close to 50%. let me tell you all how enraptured I am by this beautiful book! Every sentence is a promise and a present. There is such a beauty and depth of feeling in this book.

I don't feel triggered in the least by this. There is such human connection, such love, and art that transforms. I hear the laughter too. I know there are people who didn't feel this one, but me? Definitely in the love camp. I am savoring this.

[Jason]

Amy wrote: "At close to 50%. let me tell you all how enraptured I am by this beautiful book! Every sentence is a promise and a present. There is such a beauty and depth of feeling in this book.

I don't feel t..."

I'm glad you are enjoying this book so much. I am excited to hear your final evaluation and thoughts.

[Amy]

"I love you and I believe in you."

"Don't you get it? You're the Happy Ending!"

"Paint the way the birds sing, or Painting the way we laughed together."

"One of Us."

"What are you going to do with this one precious wondrous life?"

"She goes to art galleries, she cries, she finds out how hard her heart can beat.... She tries to learn to be a human being... She sees the world, then the world sees her.... Louisa will stand close to the wall breathing in the painting, in the middle of an explosion of storm and longing, and then she will know."

Books are artisty ~ and Backman is one incredible artist. I appreciate and feel art, but I feel writing more. What kind of feeling, dynamic, experience some authors are able to convey with words, do make one hear the laughter and the birds singing. We feel the pain and its beauty and the full cost of love. In a moment one is simultanteouly in the teenage world of these four and these two teenagers, as one is in the new world of Louisa and Ted and the new people they encounter along the way. Plus the wafts of our own childhoods, the friends for whom our hearts beat. The people and moments for whom there are a thousand "forevers of now." Backman captured that so beautifully and more. Backman understands the human condition, and what it means to choose life , as well as loving and living, and create beauty, even in the face of tragedy, loss, and devastation. This book is an experience of love, art, friendship, and capturing the moment, even as it evolves. A good book makes us feel, a great book makes us weep and forever changes us. This one is such a work of art and will stay with me a long while, possibly forever, the way I know my teenage friendships will. I can relate to Ted, even longer, as I know what it means to have friendships that walk with you over a lifetime, and still be the same and yet totally transformed into even more of who we are. This is a book about friendship and love and art and life, and when there are no spaces between any of those things. Time both stretches and is non-existent.

Thank you for this beautiful five star read that will stay with me forever, as will my friends and forever now moments. What an absolute pleasure to read and savor this. Top Ten for Life.