hot girls read books discussion
Girl Talk! (non-book related)
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Am i the problem??
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It is very tiresome to be in this kind of relationships.Maybe your friends have somethings going on in their lives or maybe you guys have just outgrown each other(If you are school/college friends thats highly likely).People change,so does their priorities.It sucks to think that the person you were so close with is now practically a stranger but it is life.My advice to you is that go low contact with them,don't chase after them but work on yourself.Your self respect and mental health is your no.1 priority.As for the new friends,I personally don't recommend it.You are sad,tired and angry right now which makes you vulnerable so I fear that you might ended up befriending wrong kind of people.Heal yourself,respect yourself enough to not give your time and energy to someone who do not return it.Pick up some new hobbies,spend time with your family and work hard to improve your own life.Even if these friends come back to you or you make new friends,you should put yourself first.I hope i was helpful.Wish you happiness!
that was such a good advice, thanks a lot! and yeah what youre saying makes sense, before trying to get new friends, i should fully heal first. thank you!
give yourself a break , like sona says people change or you guys have outgrown each other which is highly possible. as a person who has been through very messy friendships I can only say belive me it's not worth it it's not not at all. I only exhausted myself chasing after my so called 'friends' and emotionally invested so much to just end up in misery and emotionally Drained. then you start believing your unloved and you forget and overlook the acctual people who care for you. and this way you lose an acctual genuine connection because you were too busy trying to prove to the people who don't care THAT u matter. either confront them which is the best option so ur not left haunted afterwards or regret or want to go back , nicely express you feel this way , so you acctually directly know what they feel and if they really don't care belive it it's not worth it , our time is very temporary and it better spend with the right people. with thst being said , please cutt them off , don't bother and heal and spend time with your family. it does hurt alot but it doesn't mean you weren't enough or you weren't worth it , they aren't worth your time I mean it and they really don't have the right to break you and you won't break just because they feel like they can treat you however they want . they can't. and you won't let them. it will hurt at first , you might keep trying again. but you'll realise and you have it's not worth it. so take a breath. and back off. look around , you'll find many people worth giving time.
you will naturally look and feel alive with the right people not only thst but you will know how much to give and take and to whom and not let it get to u and sometimes we need these kind of stabs in the heart to become a beautiful version of ourself , a Phoenix isn't a phoenix if it doesn't rise from it's ashes stronger and more glowing .
thanks a lot for saying this and helping me out! im gonna try and focus more on self growth cause more and better friends will come, im about to start college, so there'll be plenty people whom i could befriend. again thanks a lotttt <3
Others have already said such helpful things! I would just like to add I think you should be really proud of yourself. It's special to have a big heart and actually use it for others. You're clearly a very thoughtful person and considerate friend, and that's more important in the long run. From my perspective, it seems you're more ready for healthier friendships in college than they are (April Fool's jokes at someone else's expense? At that age? I'm sorrrry babes I am judging them for that, like a little bit). Good things are coming for you! Trust me, after you realize what you deserve in your relationships life just gets better.
Friendships take effort from both sides. If you’re the only one constantly showing up, it’s okay, actually, it’s healthy, to take a step back. You're about to start college, and honestly? You're going to meet so many new, like-minded people who actually get you and match your energy.I know it hurts right now. Your friends are acting like total jerks, and I’ve been there too. My own friend group fallout left me confused and upset, but it ended up being one of the good things that happened. It pushed me to find the people who truly cared and helped me grow into who I am now.
Please don’t exhaust yourself out trying to hold together one-sided friendships. I get that aching, uncomfortable, maybe even terrified feeling you're dealing with, but once you're on the other side of it, I promise you’ll look back laughing.
i get yalls points, thank you meagan and sam for your advice 🫶. i have realised a few problems in me too, havent build the boundaries, am too people pleasing. i got some self help books (🤢), am on the path of self improvement now!
So Dish’s birthday came around, and I planned this surprise. Coordinated everything. Told Mango and Drawer early in the evening — let’s do something for Dish. Mango said he was already going to Dish’s house that night, and I said let’s all three go together. I got the cake. Spent money I shouldn’t have, thinking we’d split it. At 8PM, Mango texts saying his mom said no. Drawer got caught in something bad (not that big of an emergency, but whatever), and I kinda understand that. Then later, Dish tells me Mango is going to his place… the next day. With cake. With his mom. Never mentioned that to me. Just bailed and made his own plan.
If he didn’t want to celebrate with us, he could’ve just said it. I kept calling, he kept ignoring. I was so excited, and it felt like such a slap. And this isn’t new. Mango once played an April Fool’s prank — a day before my JEE (really imp entrance exam in India, somewhat like SAT) — saying his girlfriend dumped him. I was shattered. I believed it, worried about him nonstop, even though something in me said he was lying. She was his first ever girlfriend and he was keeping us posted about their relationship and it was really cute and sweet, all the efforts he put in and his girlfriend is a really nice girl as well. Five days later, he tells me it was a joke. Says he’s a ‘good friend’ for not dragging it out until May. He wasn’t even going to tell me — only did because Drawer slipped up and mentioned his girlfriend.
And then there’s Drawer’s phone breaking on the afternoon of the Dish's birthday. She just vanished. No message, no attempt to contact me via her mom’s phone or even her laptop. I even called her mother, but Drawer was out. I only found out what happened after 4 days — not because she told me, but because she and Mango were talking on Instagram. And she was chatting with Dish via Pinterest on her laptop. She could have reached out. I'm not on Instagram or Pinterest, but we are on Telegram. She just… didn’t. I would’ve. And that’s what kills me — I would’ve found a way. But I clearly wasn’t worth the effort. You can i say, i could've reached out via Telegram then, but I was done being the only one who puts in effort, I was tired of always reaching out and not getting met even halfway through.
She has other friends in her neighborhood that she stayed in touch with, and I was just left wondering. I already feel like I give too much — emotionally, mentally, even financially. And they always have some reason, some excuse. Drawer and Mango both have this pattern — being rude, flipping blame, not changing even when they know they’ve hurt me. It’s always me left sitting with the ache.
Right now, every interaction with Mango or Drawer just drains me. Makes me feel unloved, unimportant, optional. And I’m tired. I’m not trying to punish anyone. I just need to step back. Protect my peace. Let myself breathe.
So now I’m wondering… do I need new friends? Or just thicker skin? Let me know if yall need more context, more past incidents, cause there have been A LOT, this was all just in the month of May.