Booktok 📚 discussion
Anyone else sick of people writing "You can add me" and than never accepting friend request??
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I always accept friend requests. I’ve quit adding people due to the reason that they don’t accept them. It gets irritating but it’s like whatever
Yesss or they just unadd you out of nowhere
Glad I'm not the only one. I've just decided at the end of the month I go through my list and anyone who didn't accept the friend request, I cancel the request and unfollow them.
I'm going to somewhat play devil's advocate here:1. There's minors on Goodreads who would prefer to make their pages private. There's been creepy guys on some of the other groups messaging these girls asking for their age, where they live, etc. Others would rather make their pages private for personal reasons, and I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing.
2. As someone who has a challenge question, I think it's interesting to see what other people think about when it comes to books. I've had a variety of challenge questions over the years, whether it's asking for a person's last five-star read (so I can look into it and possibly add it to my TBR) or my current question which is essentially asking for people's hot takes on bookish social media trends. I think it's great to see what other people's opinions are! Now, I will agree that it's somewhat odd to have a challenge question that's like, "Why do you want to be my friend?" and I've even had someone in the past who had a challenge question that said, "Check how many books we have in common; if our bookshelves are less than 40% similar, I won't accept you," but if it's book-related I don't mind at all and I like seeing everyone's answers to my challenge question!
3. As someone who's approaching the 5,000 friend limit on Goodreads, I've started to become more selective with who I accept friend requests from. If someone friend requests me and answers my challenge question with something totally unrelated to the question, I decline the request.
I also have other things in my bio that state who I'm more likely to accept a request from; usually they just have to be active and have similar book tastes as me and I know some people prefer that their GR friends are around the same age as them. Some people also don't always check their friend requests or notifications because there is a notification issue/glitch going on where people stop getting notifications across the board. If they don't get notifications, they can't know who liked a review or if someone sent them a friend request.
I accept all the request and it’s not based on challenge question about music taste . Challenge question are annoying when it’s like “I WiLl ReMoVe YoU iF uR InAcTiVe “ LIKE HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO ANSWER THAT AGHHHHHHH
i usually accept most frq, but i only add people that are in my age group/have similar taste. i have this in my bio, and it does take me a long time to sort through my requests. the only people i don't add are people over 30 or people with drastically different tasteand i do add interactive people faster, because what's the point of friending someone if you're never going to interact with them lmao
I dont like the challenge questions, and my goodreads keeps glitching where my friend requests aren't being sent.
sorry what are challenge questions? I've never come across them and don't think I have that option whatever it is
A challenge question is a question you have to answer before you are allowed to send a friend request to the person. Is could be something that “what’s your favorite trope” or “what was your last 5-star read” or something completely unrelated to books or reading
They are questions users set up prior to the friend request being acceptd to help filter out spam. But the ones i keep seeing are: why do you want to be my friend? or, What are your music tastes?
Beth :) wrote: "sorry what are challenge questions? I've never come across them and don't think I have that option whatever it is"you can add a challenge question if you go to your profile settings and go to the "account and notifications" tab, then scroll down to the bottom! basically it helps you filter out spam requests and you can ask people a question that they have to answer before you accept their frq. you'll see their response next to their frq <3
⋆˚୨ৎ˚⋆ Kim ⋆˚୨ৎ˚⋆ wrote: "I'm going to somewhat play devil's advocate here:1. There's minors on Goodreads who would prefer to make their pages private. There's been creepy guys on some of the other groups messaging these ..."
Love the devil's advocate points!!!! Which are all entirely valid... except when your actively asking people to friend request you.
- If I see a private page I assume they are under 18 and don't even friend request them.
- If it's a book related challenge question I'll answer it, but I've had some ask questions about TV shows?? If you are going to gate-keep your friends maybe don't tell people to add you, and instead these people should send out friend requests, it's just irritating.
- Same for people who get close to 5000 friends. If you know you are limited, stop asking people to send you a friend request you know you aren't going to accept just to get more followers. Just say you've hit your limit but people are welcome to follow you.
Hope you're enjoying your day!!
Kristen wrote: "Is anyone else sick of all the thread on this group where people are always saying "you can add me" or "you can friend me" and when you try...1. Their page is private so you can't see their readin..."
Its really annoying, I added you
Crystal L wrote: "Kristen wrote: "Is anyone else sick of all the thread on this group where people are always saying "you can add me" or "you can friend me" and when you try...1. Their page is private so you can't ..."
Thanks, Crystal - I sent you a friend request :-)
Can we decline the request if we’ve sent it to someone who hasn’t accepted it tho?
you can just unfollow them, and i'm pretty sure that cancels the request
★ Livlyy ★ wrote: "Can we decline the request if we’ve sent it to someone who hasn’t accepted it tho?"Yeah, you can go to:
- Friends -> People I'm following (on the right side menu) -> Reader's Your Following (also on right side menu)
- From there just click "Cancel Friend Request" to the right of person's activity.
Hope this helps!
i’m also going to play devil’s advocate here as someone who is picky just for the sake of being picky (i.e. i’m not a minor/private profile/nearing 5000 friends). to preface this, i want to say that if i do respond to a post that asks for friends i do specify i’m looking for friends that read similar genres/books to me.
my personal “philosophy” i apply when it comes to goodreads friends is that i’d like to see books i would be interested in reading on my front page, so i prefer to only add friends whose tastes coincide with mine.
at the end of the day, i don’t think people are entitled (and i know that is probably quite harsh wording) to being goodreads friends with everyone. people use this site for different purposes, some people lean more heavily into the social aspect of it while others use it as a reading logging tool.
to me personally it’s not that big of a deal if i add someone and they don’t add me back. i also don’t mind just being a follower of a user who provides good reviews.
however, i can imagine that some people lean more heavily into the social aspect of this site and that’s why they’re interested in adding new friends. i personally think it’s better to have quality over quantity, i.e. a smaller amount of like minded friends who support & respond to your updates rather than a large collection of people who’s updates i don’t or am not interested in interacting with.
This happens to me too!! I always accept friend requests!
I get it too! But I also agree with Kim and I try to be careful with denying friend requests from minors and I do my best to not send friend requests to minors as well. It gets a little tricky when it comes to that side of things!
i know right! i get so excited when i see that somebody has sent me a friend request & always accept as soon as i see it!
Kristen wrote: "★ Livlyy ★ wrote: "Can we decline the request if we’ve sent it to someone who hasn’t accepted it tho?"Yeah, you can go to:
- Friends -> People I'm following (on the right side menu) -> Reader's Y..."
Thank you so much :)
honestly the constant “looking for gr friends!!!!” Thing always popping up from millions of people is so annoying. I understand looking for specific people like people into horror or sum but its the same shit everyday
1. Their page is private so you can't see their reading habits or details
2. You have to answer a question to be considered, so of which are strange or not at all reading related
3. You send the request and they NEVER accept it
I mean, what's the point of joining this group if you never accept friend requests!
*sigh*