The Seasonal Reading Challenge discussion
SPRING CHALLENGE 2025
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Group Reads Discussion: Dinner for Vampires
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I've deleted this comment because I did not post it with my Readerboard name. I re-posted in message 4 and linked to message 4 when I claimed points.
I am clearly not living in the same universe as the author of this book so much of her dialogue does not make sense to me. While I could in spots I could feel sorry for the author, I felt she needed to learn how to take care of herself.
Nick KY*****REPOST with READERNAME****
This memoir is hard to listen to. [I did the audiobook.] It is read by the author, and we cannot fully know the extent to which she is trying to apologize for the Christian cult that she was a part of, even after the horrendous things they did to her.
Joy Lenz was a privileged girl whose natural talent led her, through the typical stage-mom push of her parents, to become a child actress in Hollywood. As a teen she landed a role on the teen soap opera "One Tree Hill" (I am unfamiliar with it, but it sounds typical teen-soap-opera-ish.) Luckily, she did not fall into the trap of drugs or hedonism that led to so many bad places for child actors in Hollywood. But she did fall. In her case, she joined a Christian cult, no doubt thinking that the fanilial Christianity of it would keep her safe.
Eventually she is coerced into marrying the cult leader's son, an emotional mistake from the get-go, and handing over all her TV money to her husband and her father-in-law.
Because of the heated emotions of the marriage, she continues a pattern of yelling back at those yelling at her that she had started with her mother. Good for her for sticking up for herself -- even while she's being deluded into continuing a toxic lifestyle. It seems to be a pattern for her. That was my problem with hearing her read her memoir. How much, I asked as listening, is she apologizing for her own role in these volatile situations. She is the victim here, and I do not believe for a minute that she is inviting the abuse. But she also appears to be naive -- so naive -- in continuing the cult lifestyle, and somehow even still apologizing for it. Even at the end of the book, I am left wondering if she will forever be apologetic for the cult...she so wants to be a part of the Christianity behind it all. Like so many, she gets duped by those who would use Christianity as a springboard to patriarchal power.
Well, thank God she finally got out of the marriage. (That's not a spoiler -- you know from the beginning that's she's telling of a former marriage and a former life.)
I am always interested in reading about cults and the tactics that cults use to entice people to become part of their group. This book is one of many I have read about over the years. When reading these I feel like I'm watching a horror movie and screaming, "No. Don't do that!" and yet they do anyways. I always question myself to see if I could also have believed in something to the extent that I would allow a group to take over my life. I think that these accounts of ex-cult members is so important to make people aware of these dangers.
Mod
I also love to read any thing fiction or non fiction about cults. I am intrigued by how someone can find themselves joining one. It seems like one would ask " does this seem a little off?" But the truth is cults prey on those who are wanting to be loved and validated, it feels they are there to help you and love you and give you what you have been missing. I feel like cults are hiding in every part of the world and many times hide behind "religion" The way they can effect a person is and bring them is just so freaky.
I did not feel that Joy was apologizing for their behavior. I have a background of abuse, and as a victim of abuse it is very hard to come away from the abuser(s) thinking its not your fault. I did not feel she blamed herself for being swept into the cult but maybe she might blame herself for not seeing it for what it was sooner and knowing how to get out. When you are already breaking inside its hard to see that those that promise to love you are might be the truly broken ones.
JennRenee wrote: "I really enjoyed this book. I was a big fan of One Tree Hill and Haley was one of my favorite characters. I have watched this show fully more than once, and I would have never known what this actre..."JennRenee, so sorry to hear that you have a background of abuse. But I am glad to hear that you survived and have become an obviously giving and together person. Your patience as a moderator of this group has all my admiration. Good for you.
KRISTA KYI listened to this book and really enjoyed the journey.
Her cult experience was so innocent to begin with- small groups of believers gathering at homes to learn and grow together, support each other in their lives.
I found myself yelling in my car as the red flags appeared throughout the story. I hope and pray that my daughter can see these flags as she navigates her own faith journey.
I was left hoping for a bit more in the book; however, I will say that this showed how insiduously control can be exerted by cults on their victims. Her experience started as a bible study started by other who were also exploring their faith until a new leader was introduced to the group and slowly took over all aspects of her life.
I have been interested in reading this memoir since I saw it on shelves last fall. I wasn't a teen when One Tree Hill was on, but my husband and I enjoyed watching it back in the day. Haley's character was so grounded and relatable, for the most part, so it is surprising to learn of all that was going on during this time in her personal life. It is frightening to learn of how these groups lure people in, make them rely on them, then slowly break them down. I also feel like we live in a time when there are so many of these brainwashing or cult stories being reported in the news, in the US, at least. I also read "In My Mother's House" by Shari Franke for another task in this SRC and it's just very eye-opening how these predatory people or groups can take over a person's life. I like to think that I would know the signs and red flags, but I really don't think it's as obvious as it seems, especially if a person's initial time with them is positive and they make a lonely person feel like they belong to something.
I am glad that Joy is out of the cult but I would have been interested in knowing more about how she and her family have recovered in the past decade since she left the cult.
Bookwrm526I never watched One Tree Hill and knew almost nothing about it going into this book. I most likely never would have picked up this book if not for the Group Read for the challenge.
I was glad that the focus was more on her life and her experience getting into and out of a cult and less on the TV show, since I didn't know anything about it. I have a cousin who was in a cult (he was married to the leader's daughter!) similar to this, a small family thing in the American southwest, so I'm always interested to learn about how we get drawn into cults, how we break free, and how we talk about them. I appreciate the post script where she compares it to an abusive relationship, because I think that is an experience that (unfortunately) more of us can relate to than being in a cult!
Mod
Ahhhh I LOVED this book. One Tree Hill is one of my all time favorite shows and I absolutely love Hailey. I hated hearing about everything she went through, especially the abuse. Watching the show you would never know what she was going through.
Now if you'll excuse me I think it's time to binge OTH again.
I have never watched One Tree Hill, but I have a fascination of reading about people who have been in and then escaped a cult. This is especially all the more captivating when it is a famous person.This was an excellent memoir, the author really paints a vivid picture of how the "family" gradually took over full control of her life, and how it was only extreme physical abuse of her husband that finally made her take a hard look at the life she was in and all that she had lost. It was definitely a case of the frog being put in a pot of water and the heat being turned up slowly.
it is really sad how challenging your commitment to God can be used as a weapon to totally manipulate every aspect of a person's life
Ok, so I finished this a couple days ago and I've been sitting on it to try and figure out how I feel about it. Full disclosure, I'd never even heard of her TV show before and had no idea who she was. Also, I'm not a religious person so I can't really relate to how she was suckered into the situation in which she found herself. It really feels like her parents set her up to be vulnerable by indoctrinating her with all this stuff from an early age. Onto the voice on this - I listened to the audio so it was the author reading her own memoir - there was something just so... staged, or disingenuous? about it... I really felt like she was spouting a lot of false niceties about people (ex co-workers on her show, etc.) to get them on board with her rhetoric. No doubt she was in a crappy situation, though partly of her own making, and she was definitely being taken advantage of by her husband's family, but does that constitute a cult? For Idaho (where I currently live) none of the your-man-is-the-steward-of-your-spiritual-existence bullcrap goes beyond "mainstream" religious ideology.
Anyway, I'm glad she got away, I'm glad her ex in-laws didn't sue for libel, I'm glad her daughter isn't being raised in that environment, but I don't think her problems ended with leaving that family. She seems to still have a lot of personal stuff to work on.
JenJ IAThis memoir was an interesting read. I always enjoy memoirs for the opportunity to hear the voice of someone with a different lived experience than my own. I watched One Tree Hill and could not imagine Joy was living through this situation. She provided many details from her journals which helped to see how the manipulation of the cult happened over time. I felt the end of the book was a bit rushed, but it was a nice resolution to know that she and her daughter made it out of this challenging situation.
The requirement for task 20.10: You must participate in the book's discussion thread below with at least one post about the contents of the book or your reaction to the book after you have read the book.