I hope you're having a better day than I am

[Elsie]

Okay, recap:
Morning: Wakes up at 7, not able to get ready efficiently, has a cheese and turkey sandwich for breakfast.
Math:
I figured out the "core of the lesson" with one equation, without knowing it, made me happy! But my ex bf and ex friend is in that class, which makes me uncomfortable!!
Science:
My head hurt sooo bad, and there was this IDIOT boy who's always so freaking loud!!
Lunch:
Fine. Nothing special.
English:
Fine. Nothing special.
PE:
I could yell about this one for a long time. First, I ran two laps, which made me soooooo lightheaded, and then we had to play freaking basketball, which I love to watch, but HATE to play, and it caused me so much stress, especially since I didn't get great sleep, and I already wasn't having a great day. I felt pointless and useless. I was trying, I swear, but in that moment of time, I just hated myself a little, I think. I felt like I was doing it wrong, and everything: the sounds, the people, it was just too much for me.
I'm a writer, a reader, the observer. I want to experience things cool like that, but I'm too weak to try. I'm too scared, I write and read marvelous journeys and spectacular views, but I'm too dumb to do it myself.
I walked up to the coach and said:
"Can I sit out?"
"Why?"
"I just feel lightheaded and don't feel good. This is causing me stress."
"You won't get participation points."
"Okay."
I hated it, and I hated myself for not doing it.

[annabelle]

aww honey i'm really sorry your day was absolute trash!
don't beat urself up about it, we all have bad days. u just gotta try again tomorrow. I hope you could go home and chill, u def deserve to rot in bed for a few hours after that >3
also girl you might be getting sick?
hope ur okay now 🤍

[ella]

sounds like you're beating yourself up about P.E and made it into something bigger. don't make that decision control the rest of your day.

[Elsie]

Thank you, girls! I probably was beating myself up a bit. It's kind of a habit of mine. I came home and scrolled through Goodreads. I'm a bit more relaxed. My head still hurts, though.

@annabelle, I will try again tomorrow. It'll be a lot easier; tomorrow is Saturday. I'm not sick, I just have an obsession to stay up to late for my body and mind. I need to stop. That was probably one of the biggest reasons why I was so stressed.

[Elsie]

@Ella, thank you. The rest of my day was better. I went to a basketball game with my family, and we had a ball (literally). But I don't think I decided to be upset about that in the moment. Have a great night!