WIP Library discussion
Reviews and Constructive Critisisms
message 1:
by
Louis :3, ~Author~
(new)
Jan 01, 2025 03:37PM
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From what I read it was really good and I was hooked.
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Ashes of the Past.
He/She/They is/are Always Behind Me
idk, prolly gonna have more at like 3 am when I cant be on, but ill get back to you on that
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I also think that you write a lot of first person. I LOVE first person, but its also good to branch out a little! Maybe try writing an introduction from a 3rd person perspective and see how you like it!
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I think Castle Danger! Is in 3rd person
Ok, so I really love your writing style in general! The stories all had an intriguing story and amazing description. *Warning: I'm going into editor mode.
If you're looking for a bit more constructive criticism, there are a few things I have in mind.
In general, your prologues have a hook, but sometimes continues when it could have stopped, making it feel a little unfinished.
I really, really like the prologue for Ashes of the Past. It might be improved if the last line wasn't there in my opinion.
I think it could be the first line of the first chapter...
You don't have to take any of my suggestions though.
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Your writing is some of the best creative writing I've read, honestly.
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Neptune~"I'm about as intimidating as a butterfly" wrote: "huzzah- you should read Kipp's tho- his is great"I will if he chooses to share. I love reading creative writing! (and writing it)
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I will if he chooses to share. I love reading creative writing! (and writing it)"
He has his own group for his WIP book!
Neptune~"I'm about as intimidating as a butterfly" wrote: "Ella✨(booktrovert) wrote: "Neptune~"I'm about as intimidating as a butterfly" wrote: "huzzah- you should read Kipp's tho- his is great"I will if he chooses to share. I love reading creative writi..."
oooooooh
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I..."
i think I invited you-
I have to go, see you guys! :)
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This is Kipperdoodles group ^^
The Boy and The Bottles: Book Review and RP!
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i wanted to bud
I'm glad that I'm in both now! :)
hey, so i have a question about one of the stories
“Wow, I didn't know you were related to him. She’s your sister, huh?"is the him a mistake, or is his sister male?
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In The Last Ones, Chapter 1, paragraph two: “Business.” There shouldn't be a period there because it's not the end of the sentence.
Also, I'm really sorry if I'm being overly judgy
There's really nothing else to fix.
I think it was really great!
It felt a little unfinished, though
In the next chapter I'd really like to know what she meant about Willow being a professional
You could start with him going and talking/asking her about that
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For Ashes of the Past, I think it's basically perfect
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