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From what I can tell it sounds like he does like you, the gift is probably his way of showing that. I am constantly buying things for the people I care about before that's how I like to show it and I reckon its the same for him. If you aren't comfortable with acting like a couple when you aren't you only have two options either, don't wait till your birthday and be together, from the perspective of an older sister your parents dont want you to date because they dont want you to be doing adult things with a boy, I'm assuming you are around 14-15 or younger so I would agree with them in that sense, but you can still date someone if you want to. The other option is you tell him that you dont want to be acting this way until you are in a relationship, you have mentioned his autism and I can tell it is something you are mindful of which is lovely but you cant let that stop you from talking to him in a way that you would to others. I don't know him so I don't know how his autism affects him, going off my understanding it may upset him if you tell him to back down a bit but he will understand even if it takes awhile.
Thank you so much for that advice. I really appreciate it (I'm also nearly 16 (:)
I'm on the spectrum also. if you feel uncomfortable with him giving gifts id tell him. I'm confused when you say "he also has autism, so that might have something to do with it" are u talking about the gift giving ?
that could be his way of gift giving. as someone with autism and ADHD it's hard to express emotions sometimes so maybe he uses gifts to express his. but I'm same with you I don't need lots of gifts to like a person or whatever. id be honest with him.
(unrelated but I saw the title of this my brain immediately went to the song "what can I do" by Renee rapp :) )
ella wrote: "that could be his way of gift giving. as someone with autism and ADHD it's hard to express emotions sometimes so maybe he uses gifts to express his. but I'm same with you I don't need lots of gifts..."I never thought about it, but it would make sense if his love language is gift giving and thats now he showed me how much he likes me.
ella wrote: "I'm on the spectrum also. if you feel uncomfortable with him giving gifts id tell him. I'm confused when you say "he also has autism, so that might have something to do with it" are u talking about..."Yes, but also I have spoken to him about it in person, but he still doesn't seem to grasp not acting like a couple yet.
ella wrote: "(unrelated but I saw the title of this my brain immediately went to the song "what can I do" by Renee rapp :) )"Omg yessss, I didn't even realise :D
hmmm if you have already talked to him I'm not sure what else. he's obvi missing what you're putting out but you feel uncomfortable so I'd keep trying
okay. he is such a sweet and kind person, but I'll keep trying to tell him to take things slowly for now
maybe you could show him that you do really like and are interested still, even if you aren’t ready for a real relationship yet. that way he wouldn’t feel as though he needs to earn that from you. (I’m not saying that you don’t already show him that ofc 🙂x) but he sound like a really sweet boy for you!! x
also I am around your age so i totally get you girl xx
thank you so much for the great advice xx
Okay, I don't know all too much about autism but his actions don't seem to have any correlation with his autism to me. It just seems like a normal "boy likes girl so he buys her something she's mentioned she wants" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I understand that how you might feel uncomfortable with the gift esp if it's coming across as couple stuff to you but I guess that's where communication comes into play. Idk if you have, but communicate your gratitude for the gift and then tell him to hold off on gift giving or any other couple things for the time being till it's your bd. He may not understand it initially but he'll eventually get it. It'd help you to be mindful of what you say (things that you'd like to have) because it seems lover boy's love language is gift giving so he'll probs buy it for you 😅 Also, it's important to understand your feelings about this. Will you still feel the same about him when your bd approaches bcz your uncomfortablity might be a sign too.
I don't think I'll be as uncomfortable about it after my birthday, but just a little until then. I also don't know a lot about autism so thats why I was wondering if it had something to do with it, but thinking about it more and more, it does seem like a normal "boy likes girl" thing lol
@gina yeah same gift giving isn't really an autistic trait I agree with you just a guy liking a girl
you could ask him about his autism if he feels comfortable bc having autism can be a difficult thing. it can be complex especially if he has other disabilities
Well great if you don't see your uncomfortablity being an issue in the long run. Just tell him to hold off on gift giving or anything else for the time being.I also think that since you don't know all too much about autism, you could ask him about and understand how different his autism is, ya know. It's perfect ground for getting to know him better imo :))
@ella, I agree with you on that. Understanding his autism will help her better understand him as a person
thank you so much for the advice. I really appreciate it all xxx
My parents like him so they might not see anything weird about the gift, but it still makes me feel a bit uncomfortable with it. He knows that we can't date yet, but he still seems to be doing couple things. I feel like I should tell him, but I don't want to hurt his feelings too much. Remember, he also has autism so that might have something to do with it, but I don't know.
Any advice about this would be appreciated xxx