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Nonbinary help
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Hi, Blaine. I'm non binary aswell and I want to help. For the coming out aspect, I think if you feel like you would be in danger if you came out, then you shouldn't for your safety. But, if you think they would be OK with it or you wouldn't be in danger then you should come out if you want to. Just remember, if you're still in the closet, you're still valid and you shouldn't feel pressured to come out, especially if it could put you in danger. I hope you find this helpful!👍❤️
I don't have much in terms of advice to give, but I will say I was in a similar circumstance around your age, although I came out at 13. My family didn't forget about it, but their response was closer to "even if that's how you feel, don't tell anybody else under any circumstances. we're the only people you've told right?" when really, they were the last people I told. They were upset when they found out other people knew. Since then, I haven't pressed the issue any, but it's more like I simply became more rebellious. I cut my hair in styles that my family disapproved of and the more they grumbled about how they wished it was long again, the shorter I'd cut it. If they hated a style of clothes I wore, I made a point to wear it as often as possible. If they ever outright called me a gendered term I didn't like, I'd simply say "don't call me that." if they asked why, I'd be very firm in saying "because I don't like that word, so don't call me that ever again", and for the past 6 years this has generally worked out for me, because I figure if they're not going to accept me, then I will tolerate no less than compliance with the terms I've set. If they're rude to me, I don't let it slide. I'm not sure about your personality, or what relationship you have with your family, but at least in mine I've always been known to be the "uptight, high-strung, no-fun" one (their words, not mine) so it wasn't very surprising to them when my behaviour became even more rigid after coming out.In terms of dysphoria, I know for me personally it became a lot easier to handle after puberty ended for me, because I knew at that point my body wouldn't pull any more unwelcome surprises that I'd have to learn to get used to. I remember how bad it could be though, but really the only advice I can give is do what makes you comfortable. Not only in terms of what you wear, but what you do. If you need to do a ton of working out (like I did) to feel better and release some of that tension that you feel whenever your dysphoria flairs up, do that. If you need to wear oversized baggy clothes and hoodies, do that.
Also, another thing that helps, is writing down things/situations that you know makes your dysphoria flair. It helps in avoiding it as best you can in the future. For example, I cannot wear long sleeve shirts that are tight on my arms without getting dysphoric (because I've dreamed for a long time of having muscly arms, but they remain pretty slender right now), so I know not to buy shirts that have certain types of sleeves. Or another example; I enjoy wearing earrings, but to offset the dysphoria I feel from wearing an item typically associated with femininity, I will get them in designs like little knives, meat cleavers, skulls, snakes, things like that that make me feel more cool. Little things like that that can make a big difference in helping you feel more comfortable in your body.
Good luck in your journey, and I hope you find a solution that works for you
hey. i know im a little late, but as a teenage out demigirl who also changed their name, i hope i can help. one thing that really helped me was doing like an empty chair exercise, or writing down how i thought it would go. the disphoria is horrible. i dont know how to help with the disphoria other than just saying that you are nonbinary and always will be and we support you and love you. noowww times have changed with the presedential election.... i came out before the election so i dont know if it'll really be safe to come out.
but, im closeted to the government (i have my birth gender in the system)
but out to friends and family and also enemies.
and i think that might be the best option. i hope this helps!
Also the dysphoria is actually terrible. Like anytime I hear my deadname or someone uses she/her pronouns for me I want to scream and cry and throw hands(but I don’t). And my hair. It’s bad. There have been times where I’ve searched for scissors to try and cut my hair then was like that would look hideous and I’d get in trouble. I own one binder(if you don’t know what that is, Google it, I don’t feel like explaining) but I really can’t wash it so I can’t wear it and when I do wear it, I never want to take it off but then I remember I’m basically crushing my ribs and my lungs. Also bathrooms. I hate how I have to go into the girl’s bathroom. I get why they have gendered bathrooms but I feel like more places should have single stall or gender neutral ones so going to the bathroom in public isn’t a whole thing for nonbinary people.
Anyways, how should I go about coming out and if you have any other like advice or tips I would appreciate them
Thx