if only I had told her

[Elodie]

If Only I Had Told Her

“if only i had told her” by Laura Nowlin is an exceptional book exploring the life and problems of teens learning and growing to be adults. The book is split up into three different points of view, Finny, Jack and Autumn. When we get to see inside of Finny’s mind, we get to explore the struggles of crushing on your best friend. He explains all the moments with Autumn that were happy and brought him joy, along with all the moments that hurt him and made him want to shrivel up into a ball. Since he was a kid, and when he's a grown up teen almost ready to be an adult, he has always had feelings for her. His best friend Jack was always there to support him through his hard times. Sadly, Autumn and Finny's love is not the complete main focus of this book. Somewhere near half way through the story, an unexpected happening occurs, and it causes the other characters to spiral into depression. That is when we move on to Jack’s point of view. He moves onto College, sad as ever that something this unexpected could take over his life and thoughts. Even through all the pain, he still manages to befriend a few people in college to help get him through it. Then, we move to Autumn’s point of view. She too is heartbroken by the occurrence, and she even nearly took her own life. But she doesn’t when she finds out what the world has planned for her. A new step to growing up and being an adult. She’s hurting, but she needs to find a way through it when she discovers this new step in this journey in life. She starts going to group therapy, hoping to find any help at all with her situation. By the end of the book, she has learned to manage her feelings and situation, and she is going to be ok.
Personally, I believe that this novel was an amazing one. Of course, it was a little heartbreaking to watch Autumn and Finny’s journey, but I couldn’t possibly put the book down. The way all the characters grew and learned honestly fascinated me. They were all flawed in their own ways, which made them even more real. Since there is another book similar to this one, but in a different perspective, it was fun to read more into the characters I didn’t get much time with in the last book, “if he had been with me”. This book was a joy.
“I know that there will be days when it feels like there won’t be a future. But for today, I can feel how Finny is still with me” - page 391. This passage really spoke out to me, not only because it’s the last line in the book, but because it represents how in the end, the characters that struggled through this book are all going to be okay. Once you read this book, the characters feel like a new part of you, and that last line is assuring that they will be taken good care of, and they'll end up healing.
Overall, I give this book a solid 4/5 star rating. It gave me a thrill to read, and I definitely did leave wanting more.