I need to vent rq

[chloe ☾ (reading slump & semiactive)]

So atlittle backstory ig but last year at this time I was in a bad place and my depression was super bad and I almost ended it but I didn't and have been getting better every since. Well school started back a month ago and my depression is coming back and I'm fighting so hard to keep from going down the same rabbit hole a did before but I've just been super stressed and numb and rn im abt 7 months clean and I'm trying so hard not to do sh again but it's hard. I've been taking ibuprofen alot recently because I have knee problems and it's been bothering me alot and rn im fighting the urge to overdose on it just to see what would happen it's not that I want to be gone im just curious on what would happen and to see if it would take the pain away because sometimes even when I'm not physically hurting ill still take it anyways because in a way it makes me feel not as numb and just taking a little bit helps the urge to overdose go away alittle. I really don't know what to do rn and I need help ik but idk how to ask for it and every day im fighting the urge to either overdose or do sh also if you have any tips on try to distract myself I would appreciate them.

[lilly ♡ (semi-hiatus, reading slump)]

hi chloe - i am going through the same exact thing as you are right now....on October 8th it'll be a year since i talked to my formed best friend, when she told me she was happier w/o me and it DESTROYED me. i had mental breakdowns, panic attacks, even just THINKING about her. i wanted to end it without her. i hated myself. during summer i was working on myself and i became happy, but with school again i've fallen back into the hole a little.

i struggle with sh a little but as much as other people do. i do think abt overdosing for the same reasons. that former bsf of mine told me she tried to overdose once and i think about that a lot, used too at least.

to try and distract myself i read or text the very amazing best friend i have now... if you ever want to PM me about your thoughts or feelings, please don't hesitate to.

if you made it through last year, i'm sure we both can to love 🫶🏻

[chloe ☾ (reading slump & semiactive)]

ty guys. I really hope I don't end up like I did last year because that was a time I wouldn't wish on anyone and the days that I feel like doing sh and stuff come and go so I hope they days in between my episodes become less and less but I will do the best I can

[lilly ♡ (semi-hiatus, reading slump)]

i hope ur well chloe <3

[chloe ☾ (reading slump & semiactive)]

thank you Lilly I'm definitely better today than i was yesterday <3