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Action tags in the middle of dialogue.
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Though I recognize it's a beginner flub, the main reason I would use the '"Juliana, come inside," Anna said' example would be if I needed to make clear Anna is the one speaking, when she hadn't been for other parts of the scene.I've been told the best way to remedy this is to prefix establishing actions so it can be implied.
Anna stepped out onto the front porch, her hands affixed onto her hips.
"Juliana, come inside. It's time for dinner."
David wrote: "Though I recognize it's a beginner flub, the main reason I would use the '"Juliana, come inside," Anna said' example would be if I needed to make clear Anna is the one speaking, when she hadn't bee..."In the instance you reference, specifically, just put the dialogue tag at the end to make it apparent.
EDIT: You can also prefix an action as well, like you showcased above. Either way works just fine.
Dialogue tags at the end come across as nearly invisible to the reader, and that is the point of them. To invisibly ensure the reader knows who is speaking.
As a general rule:
If you want dialogue to be fast paced, put tags at the end (this is generally where tags should go, tbh)
If you want to slow down the pace of dialogue, or you want to convey an action before the character speaks, put the tag in front.
If you want to place increased emphasis upon the action tag, and inject a dramatic pause as you draw attention specifically to what is happening between lines of dialogue, inject your tag into the middle of the dialogue.
The purpose of putting a tag into the middle of dialogue is to give the tag increased weight, and put a huge neon sign above it saying, "Hey! You! Yes You! LOOK AT ME!!! Right here!! Yes! LOOK AT ME!!! THIS IS IMPORTANT!!!"
So, when you put a tag in the middle of dialogue, and it is nothing important, or the dialogue does not merit the added drama or emphasis, it just comes across as a nuisance.
When you do that constantly, it makes the dialogue feel choppy.
EDIT: Also, I would like to point out that many lines of dialogue do not even need a tag.
Example: If there are two characters in a scene, and one of them has a plainly obvious style of speaking that differentiates them from the other, there is no need to even tag any of that dialogue beyond adding actions where you feel necessary. The reader can easily determine who is speaking by the dialogue itself.
It also assumed that dialogue generally takes a 1-2-1-2-1-2 form of exchange. So, if you deviate from this for some reason, you may need a tag to ensure the reader is clear that someone spoke twice.
That approach still seems to have an issue though. Take this sample.Brian, Jan, Harry and Godfried gathered around the pool of blood from their host's body. Who could have done this, they each thought? Then, a cackling laugh revealed the answer.
"It was I! Oh, how obvious it should be to you simple minds! The one who slashed all your tires upon your arrival? The flickering lights, timed perfectly to each of my machinations? That one comment about pancakes? It was all too easy to manipulate each of you into doing my bidding! And to think, you all trusted me as just another of the house's innocent guests. What a poor showing," said Jan.
The problem there should be pretty obvious - that every reader would have to skip to the end of the long line to figure out WHO is making this big reveal, since it ends up affecting quite a lot of the context around that dialog.
But the thing is, that's a common issue in a fast-paced argument when you don't know who's next going to interject with something. People often start with a plotive, eg "Oh, come on!" before elaborating with something.
"Oh, come on!" said Personwhohadn'tspokeninawhile. "Here are eight reasons why it was so plainly wrong to kill that guard with a lemon!"
As I mentioned earlier, that gets easy if you can attach a suitable action comments before each line is delivered; and actions can help build the character. But sometimes they'd lower the pace, too, implying a pause inbetween dialog.
>As I mentioned earlier, that gets easy if you can attach a suitable action comments before each line is delivered; and actions can help build the character. But sometimes they'd lower the pace, too, implying a pause inbetween dialog.I addressed that in an edit above, I can understand if you missed it.
Action as a prefix is the way I generally address that, and it is certainly a valid tool. In fact, I would go so far as to say the majority of my action tags come before dialogue, because if the character is taking action it generally impacts the dialogue in some way. Dialogue tags I typically place at the end.
The way I write dialogue, you can generally tell who is speaking without the requirement of a tag, that is frequently true even in groups of 3 or 4 in some instances. Though I have had a number of people tell me that my dialogue is among the best they have ever read (agents and published authors, too...not just Joe Q Public).
Now, in your "big reveal" example. That would be a moment worthy of the weight and emphasis inserting a tag into the middle of dialogue implies. A pivotal moment is absolutely a point where using something to draw added emphasis to it is completely reasonable.
The point I am making is that lots of dialogue does not even require a tag if it is readily obvious who is speaking to whom.
Also, if you have an ongoing conversation and inject a tag into the middle of EVERY. LINE. OF. DIALOGUE. You are going to drive the reader batshit crazy by the time they have seen it three consecutive times for lines that are not of substantial import.
That is also true of conversations between two people. If Eli and Lily are having a conversation, and you tag Eli as the first person speaking, you do not need to tell me Lily speaks next. Who else would it be unless Eli speaks twice consecutively? If Eli does that, tag it to let me know, otherwise, I assume Lily is speaking next.
I agree that dialogue tags are a challenge. I've done whole revisions on them. The most egregious example was a beta reader's self-published work that included a tag + adverb for every bit of dialogue. i believe that style has been satirized as Tom Swifties.Mind the issues with examples though.
"What a waste," Tom stood over John's body, riddled with bullet holes, as a pool of crimson seeped out onto the carpet, "he was only twenty-five."
...comma splices + run-on-sentence, dangling modifier (Tom was riddled with holes?)...
I am not at all a grammar person, but I certainly have come around to appreciating it when it comes to confusing prose, Anything that slows a reader's comprehension is a problem.
Marvin wrote: "self-published work that included a tag + adverb for every bit of dialogue. i believe that style has been satirized as Tom Swifties.I am not at all a grammar person, but I certainly have come around to appreciating it when it comes to confusing prose, Anything that slows a reader's comprehension is a problem."
First: LOL. I would have found that insufferable. God bless you if you read the whole thing.
Those were all throwaways, the context was the example I was setting.
That being said...
For the sake of being technically correct:
"What a waste." Tom stood over John's bullet-riddled body as a pool of crimson seeped out onto the carpet. "He was only twenty-five."
:P
Using an action tag in the middle of dialogue is a very powerful tool that implies a pause in the spoken dialogue and gives added weight.
Having just said that, if you do it to every line of dialogue, or even most lines of dialogue, it becomes annoying and loses the emphasis it provides.
For example:
"People put action tags in the middle of dialogue," simply for the sake of doing so, "that does not merit the added emphasis that doing so would carry."
Action/dialogue tags are least annoying at the front or the end of dialogue. If you want a faster pace, put them at the end, if you want a slower pace for the reader, put them in front.
Something that would merit an action tag in the middle of dialogue would be a pivotal event, or a moment in conversation that needs added emphasis or dramatic pause, such as something like this:
"What a waste," Tom stood over John's body, riddled with bullet holes, as a pool of crimson seeped out onto the carpet, "he was only twenty-five."
The dramatic pause and added emphasis is merited in that scenario.
Meanwhile:
"Juliana, come inside," Anna said, "it's time for dinner."
There is no purpose in using this technique in dialogue like this.
I have done a number of critique swaps lately, and I have seen a lot of this. I feel it is worth pointing out, because dialogue tags should draw as little attention as possible for the reader, lest they become nuisance. Injecting tags into the middle of dialogue that is unwarranted just draws attention to dialogue tags.