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I had a similar friend for around a year, and my only advice is to distance yourself from that person. other people’s emotions are not your problem, and usually if somebody is threatening to do stuff like that, its a form of emotional manipulation. tell a trusted adult about what is happening, and then try to stop talking to that person. your feelings are not stupid, and i wish you the best <3
i know it's a very scary thing to do, but like Scout said, you need to tell a trusted adult who can handle the situation. a guidance counselor, a parent, someone. if you actively think she's going to commit, you need to call emergency services. it shouldn't be up to you to keep someone from harming themselves. that's cruel to you.i dated someone throughout all of college. i realized about a year in that i wasn't really all that happy in the relationship, and some of what he did was... not kind. but i was afraid to leave him because i was afraid he would end himself if i did. it took me two and half more miserable years to realize that i would not be the one responsible if he did, and finally freed myself. he's still alive, several years later.
you can't save everyone. sometimes, you just have to save yourself.
this is not stupid! and you're not being selfish, you're taking care of yourself and your mental health, and no one should ever apologise or feel bad about that. scout and sunny are right, this is not your responsability! talk to someone you trust and tell them what's happening, i'm sure they can offer more insight on what to do, and distance yourself of A if you don't like what you think when you are around her. you should put yourself first!!
she cuts herself in class ? does the teacher notice or do anything about it? but id say talk to someone about it. if you really want to help her you could tell an adult but it may be hard.but if you start feeling that way around her id say leave her alone.
i know exactly how you feel. i was in the same spot a while ago but a little different.i had a friend after i lost my best friend, and i hated myself from losing her. so i tried to be everything to that new friend, s, and was trying so hard to be her #1 which ik i would never be. she always talked about khs or sh and in a way it introduced me to doing those kind of things which made me start. i still always put her first because i wanted to be everything to her because even if ik she was deeply hurting my mental health i just wanted to be cared for.
i've also experienced something similar to sunny when i was super young i had a boyfriend who was super toxic and threatened to khs if i left him , we were on and off and he would always break a tv or his gaming system, phone etc everytime we got into an argument.
you are NOT responsible for what she does to herself, as much as you want to be there for her PUT YOURSELF FIRST. your mental health comes before anyone , and sometimes that's hard to learn especially when it comes to other peoples feelings as well.
let me add a shorter comment. you can't save somebody from a well by also falling into the well
ty guys this has really helped but I really don't have anyone else to go to bc if I go to a counselor or someone then my parents may find out how I have felt and they don't know that I almost commited and stuff and plus I don't want A to hate me but I also just can't take anymore. I'm not saying this is her fault but she's super extroverted and has bad adhd so she can be VERY chaotic during class and stuff and she's always getting in trouble bc of it and I'm the complete opposite of her and by the end of the day she has completely drained me and im mentally exhausted by having to keep up with her and if she wants me to do smth and I say no even if I really don't want to do it she'll always say smth like "oh you're no fun" and "you're so boring" and I just really can't take anymore of it I'm not even 2 weeks into school and I'm already tired of it bc of her
if she was really your friend, she would accept when you say no. you may be able to submit concerns to the counselor anonymously. and while i strongly recommend talking about your own problems with someone trained to handle it, you can present it to the school counselor simply as being concerned for a classmates wellbeing.
is there an adult outside of school that you could talk to
@ella no there really isn't I'm just kinda on my own when it comes to stuff like this I'm not going to therapy anymore but I may go back soon so maybe I could get help with I go back
yeah therapy is good and they don't share things with parents so
yea that's what I like about it they won't share anything unless they feel like they should
regular therapy is great too. I did something called DBT for a few months. it stands for Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. it's very useful they would teach me skills to use in situations, etc. so I had two counselors for that but you still talk about yourself and things like that. all ages went. anyways therapy is just nice in general.i would bring poetry books and read the poem and then we would talk about them after it was nice.
yea I really hope I can go back to therapy at some point
So I have this friend A who is suicidal and she always threatens to khs and during class she cuts herself and stuff and she keeps telling me and her other friend that she's gonna commit and I try to comfort her the best I can but she never listens. I'm starting to feel like a horrible friend bc I can't comfort her the way i should but seeing her cut herself infront of me brings back so many memories and then it gives me the urge to relapse after already being 6 months clean and it's about to be one year since I almost committed and everyday since them I've been trying so hard to get out of that dark place but when I'm around her she gives me so many urges that I've tried so hard to get out of and it's just getting to much. I want to distance myself from her but I can't bc she's in my classes and I'm pretty much her only close friend but I'm also scared that she really is gonna khs if I leave but I want to leave so I won't go back into the place I fought so hard to get out of and idk what to do anymore bc I don't want to seem selfish but I also don't want to relapse again or go back to being the way I was. I've changed so much since then I have more self respect than I ever have and ik I'm not perfect and I don't try to be but i just can't handle going back to being the person who distances herself from everyone, does sh, barely eats, and almost commits. Sorry ik this is kinda stupid but I really just can't take it anymore.