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just need to vent some feelings!!
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message 1:
by
autumn
(new)
Jul 20, 2024 03:10PM
hihiii! so some context is that my parents don’t want us having social media or video games anymore (or youtube or anything) so they got me and my brother new phones. these phones have parental controls that are so extreme there’s only 7 apps on the app store (including calculator, calendar, clock, etc.). it has no internet browser, and it won’t sync to my old phone because this is a samsung and my old phone is an iphone. so i don’t have any of my old photos, numbers, anything. i also can’t text some of my friends now because they live in another country so they have numbers that i can’t text without whatsapp or something, and i can’t get whatsapp now. my parents are going to sell our video game consoles and our old phones and i’ve already had 3 giant meltdowns because of all of this. we’ve also just moved to another country and this type of change is just so much at once and so overwhelming, not to mention the fact that i now won’t be able to keep up with old friends. i’m not sure if any of this made sense but i need help.. i don’t know what to do and i just hope my parents rethink their choices and at least give us back our old phones because the new phones are literally made for little children who need to be blocked off from stuff. my brother is almost 18 and im almost 17, and it’s so condescending (?) when we get stripped of everything kids our age have and told that the world is a bad place and we need to be blocked from it. but the thing is, it’s too late for that. we’ve been exposed to so much bad stuff already that taking this away (including our freedom since we can’t drive anywhere right now) is not going to do anything. this is so long and idk thanks for reading if you did ❤️
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i am sooo sorry you have to go through all this change at once. i hope your parents rethink your decisions because that's entirely unfair but i understand there intentions and wanting to protect there kids even though they don't realize we experience so much that is bad for us at a young age. if you ever want to talk or vent, you can pm me <3
I'm so sorry. Maybe you and your brother should try to talk to your parents, and explain to them how you feel. Maybe this could help. Explain to them that moving a country and then disconnecting from all friends is too much. Maybe they will understand. And if you need anything feel free to send me a message♡
thank you shira! yes we’ve tried to talk to my parents actually, but we (me and my brother) both kept getting emotional and my parents won’t really listen to us when we get emotional (by emotional i really mean angry and yelling lol). maybe sometime down the road of “trying this out” they’ll see how miserable we’ll be. but i will keep trying to talk to them :))
i cant message you back, it says your not accepting messages !
ahh lilly i think i fixed it, maybe try again?
at first i thought y’all were young but when you said you were 17 & 18 my heart sunk. i’m so sorry. that really sucks and it sucks how they just restricted everything. is there anything you can do once you’re eighteen? are they making you throw away your old phone? you could prob try to keep it until college to use it again. i’m really sorry all of this is happening to you. are there other restrictions apart from your phone? maybe you could somehow alert your friends to what’s happening and ask if y’all could talk again when you’re eighteen? maybe if they won’t let you keep your phone you could save up until you move out to buy a new one? i’m so sorry, i can’t even imagine what you’re going through
this is ridiculous, especially considering that your brother is almost a legal adult. parents need to realize that, in order to build a healthy relationship with your children, you need to also build trust. and you can't build trust by forcing so many restrictions, especially on young adults. im very sorry to hear that your parents did this to you and your brother, and i sincerely hope that they'll come around. best of luck
aw thanks lulu! so yeah they’re gonna try to sell all of our old consoles and our phones so i’m gonna try to keep it. i’ve asked about it because i was like “can i just keep my iphone until i start paying for my own phone?” and they looked at me like i was crazy, but ill still try. they won’t let off on the restrictions until we officially move out, so even if we’re 18 and/or paying for our own phones and plans, they’ll still control everything. i’m gonna do my best to get out of this house asap though
you’re so right angeline! like they won’t even say that well like this in the future, like when parents say “you’ll thank me later”, they’re not even thinking we will. so that’s the first sign that it’s not a good idea. and my mom throughout the talk about it kept saying “we don’t have to justify this, but we’re doing it anyway!” basically like “we don’t have to do anything for you, but out of the goodness of our hearts we’ll do it anyway” (in an stick-up-the-ass type tone yk). they’re really messing up our relationship and i don’t even want to live near them anymore. i had plans to stay with my parents through college to save on costs as long as i go to college close to them, but now i don’t care. i’ll move across the country if i have to. like this is putting them in the nursing home 😒 i was also trying to make plans to move in with my best friend who lives in another state, and i don’t even have a job or a car, or my own phone anymore. but yeah the fact that we’re this old is just insane to me that they’re doing this. thank you for your kind words!
try to keep your old phone, if you can’t write down whatever you want to keep (contacts, notes app, important documents, memories, etc.) or even write down your icloud/gmail/whatever password and account username so if you get a new phone, you can try to sign in to your old account - also yes please get out as soon as you can, unless they come to their senses. i’d also suggest saving up some money just incase, but make sure it’s not something they can access. strict parents raise sneaky children 🤷♀️ but i’m so sorry for you and your brother, i really hope you can make your point across to them because this is not a good way to handle nearly adult children. good luck ml and i hope yall find the light at the end of this incredibly long tunnel
also yeah, i agree with gigi - is there anything you guys are aware of that made them do this? like anyway relatively bad that you guys did?
hiya gigi! the main reasoning behind this decision is the effects that social media and video games have on developing brains basically. that’s the only evidence they were using (also the fact that everything is designed to keep you sucked in, but i’ve been doing better with that). i understand the science and stuff behind it, but i really don’t care. mostly everyone in our generation is experiencing this too, so it’s not like it’ll matter when we’re all in the same workplace or anything. and the fact that everyone else is using social media and stuff just makes it even harder to be blocked off from everything. they did show some kid’s presentation on him getting a flip phone and no social media, but the main difference between us and him, was that he chose to distance himself from the negative impacts. we were forced and stripped of everything that was normal for us i guess. loll every reply i make i add more to the story it’s so funny 😭
um if you’re eighteen and seventeen i think it’s a little too late 💀 everyone’s brain is kinda ruined already like what are the benefits to this
yeah, Lulu, the bad thing we did get exposed to and struggled with (at least me) was ehhhh p0rn. sorry for mentioning it but i’m getting down and dirty today holy cow- but like it’s too late to shield us from it, it’s gonna be a problem for us for the rest of our lives (i don’t wanna watch p0rn but i hope you don’t know how it is, but ifykyk) it sucks but it’s wayyyyy too late for them to try
still restricting isn’t going to do anything, y’all already saw it and there’s no really going back, and y’all are almost adults anyways. really if they were concerned they should’ve just maybe had a probably very awkward talk with y’all and not go completely ballistic like this
lmaoooo gigi great point that’s so funnyyy like yeah they’re way too late for that. and yes i’ve actually been asking for therapy for a while now, like every now and then ill be talking to my mom and ill be like “can i get therapy?” and she’ll say “for what?” but i don’t wanna actually tell her what for because like….. uhh yeahh.. so i just say for anxiety and my adhd or whatever. but everytime she’s like “ill look into it” and she doesn’t do anything abt it so ill ask her again soon and actually try something. she’ll probably tell me to just talk to the school counselor 💀
UPDATE: my parents are gonna sell all our video game consoles 😀 i kinda hate them actually- we have an xbox, playstation, nintendo switch and 2 switch lites.. WHY WOULD THEY KEEP GETTING US NEW CONSOLES IF THEY THOUGHT THEY WERE MESSING US UP?!!!???? they literally told me they’ve been thinking about doing something like this for a while now, and we literally got the playstation a couple Christmas’s ago. like ???? i don’t even know but anyways sorry if this notifies anyone i just needed to get my thoughts out again 👍
I am sorry but the same thing happened to me but it was not this brutal.like if I want to download any games I have to ask my dad's permission ( which most of the time he won't notice),there was a time limit for the screen time and the phone who shut of at 9:30.but thankfully the phone broke and now I am free
this is absolutely awful!! i thought my parents were strict, but your brother being a legal adult and you a year away from that, that’s a whole ‘nother level. i’m so sorry you’re having to go through this. just know my dms are open
