Buddy Read

[Nancy]

Born a generation apart and with very different ideas about love and family, Mariam and Laila are two women brought jarringly together by war, by loss, and by fate. As they endure the ever-escalating dangers around them -- in their home, as well as in the streets of Kabul - they come to form a bond that makes them both sisters and mother - daughter to each other, and that will ultimately alter the course not just of their own lives but of the next generation.

[Daniela]

This book is an exciting read or, for me, an enjoyable listen. The author writes in a manner that always gets me hooked. This story, though, cut deep. The parables of gender, of what it means to be a woman in a war-torn country with nobody on your side... just wow!
Part One is incredibly sordid. The way they call Mariam a bastard from the minute she is born, how even her own mother does not want her, if not to manipulate her, all just captures how alone she has felt since her childhood. It potentiates the fact that no one is on her side and that she is fighting alone.

[Nancy]

So far in Part One of this book, I've felt a sense of heart-wrenching. I can actually relate somewhat to Miriam. She has a mother who treats her in such a demoralizing way, telling her how she won't amount to anything, that she won't go anywhere in this world and no one will want her, and her father doesn't want her or will never take her in. She tells her, her father is lying to her. Yet whenever Jalil, her father is around, her mother barely says a word. Jalil, on the other treats her very kindly and lovingly. Miriam waits for him on the day he's to come to visit and he always shows up, against her mother's tirades. We begin to see Miriam's strength, when she begins to disbelieve all her mother has told over the years. After her mother dies, she goes to live with her father, and even in the patriarchal society, her father is seen to be a weak man, overrun by his wives, who despise Miriam for merely being born. They treat her as a complete outsider, not even allowed to eat with the rest of the family. Finally, the wives conspire to marry her off to a man who is supposed to be rich and able to care for her, and give her a good life, who is anything but that. Again, Miriam musters up the strength to tell the man she loved all of her life, and trusted, Jalil, upon her departure with this man/husband, that she never wants to see or hear from her father again.
Rasheed, her new husband, is kind in the beginning, and Miriam falls into the domestic life, cleaning and cooking for him, but is allowed to be on her own, in her own room. He takes her out and shows her the town they live in, the market, and buys her ice cream, but doesn't pressure her. However, he does force his "religious" misogynistic beliefs on her, to wear a hijab, to perform her wifely duties in bed, and when she becomes pregnant and loses "his son." and many more miscarriages, he begins to treat her similarly to the way her mother did. He treats her like she was no better than an animal. The writing is very compelling, and painful to read. The abuse of a precious young woman who is smart, and caring and trying to please, and so badly abused. I'm am looking forward to finding out what is to come for Miriam.

[Ivonne]

Here are some thoughts on the first 10 chapters.

What struck me the most was her father's love. I have no question in my mind that he deeply cared for Mariam. Maybe because my love language is quality time, I can't help but give him credit for his weekly visits and the hours he spends with only her: after all he has 10 children. This means she potentially has a bigger share of his uninterrupted attention. She is educated and has food and a "home". Definitely not an ideal situation, but I think as we discover how women live there Mariam's beginnings won't seem so harsh.

It saddens me that in this male dominated country, Jalil seems like a weakling, unable to stand up to his wives. Is this somehow foreshadowing what is to come? So far, the women we have met have been strong and manipulative. Whereas the men, Jalil, Mariam's brothers, and the chauffer all seem kind by comparison. Let's not forget Mullah Faizullah, what a treasure of an old man. Up until Mariam receives the burka in chapter 10, even Rasheed isn't making terrible demands of her.

At the end of the Bluest Eye, Toni Morrison writes:
"Love is never any better than the lover. Wicked people love wickedly, violent people love violently. weak people love weakly, stupid people love stupidly, but the love of a fee man is never safe. There is no gift for the beloved. The lover alone possesses his gift of love. The loved one is shorn, neutralized, frozen in the glare of the lover's inward eye."

Jalil, a weak man, therefore his love is weak. Mariam on the other hand, is strong. I can't wait to see where the story goes, though I can guess much heartache is on the way.
Apr 03, 2024 06:20PM

[Ivonne]

Daniela wrote: "This book is an exciting read or, for me, an enjoyable listen. The author writes in a manner that always gets me hooked. This story, though, cut deep. The parables of gender, of what it means to be..."

Yes! And Mariam sees through her mother's abuse. She has the wherewithal to have hope, to believe in her father. Alas, he lets her down. Nana was right. In her sadistic way, she was trying to protect Mariam.

[Ivonne]

Stockholm syndrome...I can see Mariam falling prey, or she simply reacting positively to being "seen" by Rasheed in the beginning?

[Daniela]

Ivonne wrote: "Here are some thoughts on the first 10 chapters.

What struck me the most was her father's love. I have no question in my mind that he deeply cared for Mariam. Maybe because my love language is qua..."

Funny you should quote The Bluest Eye. I reviewed this book in my blog and compared it to The Bluest Eye and To Kill a Mockingbird. The post talked about rebellion in writing and how we use it to rebel against what is being imposed on us. So far, this author has done that in every single one of his novels. There are certainly lots of parables between Hosseini and Morrison's work. Mainly, I can see Mariam as Pecola. I remember reading it and thinking about Pecola Breedlove. There are themes within this one that certainly are present in the other: the manipulative mother, the paternal betrayal, and the pressure to survive in the most stifling situations. Mariam is dropped into a warzone. Pecola's warzone was her own home.

[Ivonne]

Daniela wrote: "Ivonne wrote: "Here are some thoughts on the first 10 chapters.

What struck me the most was her father's love. I have no question in my mind that he deeply cared for Mariam. Maybe because my love ..."

Yes! I love your assessment. Send me a link to your blog, please. Would love to read your review.

I kept thinking about The Bluest Eye as well, not only with Pecola though, but also her mother and how she dealt with and survived her relationship with Cholly Breedlove. There is a horrible cycle in these families and a parallel of oppression in these so distinctly different societies. Or are they so different underneath it all? How terrible, I can't remember Pecola's mother's name:-(