Weekly Short Stories Contest and Company! discussion
Weekly Short Story Contests
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Week 255 (April 1-7). Stories. Topic: First Light
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Deepak wrote: "Garrison – Fahrenheit 451 meets vigilantes. Eduardo is unhinged and what you’d expect from a person like that. He showed shades of the Joker which I always find very nice since a character like that usually writes himself. I just hope Mr. Xavier has learnt his lesson. Although there’s a small thing I want to ask. When you say gargoyles, do you mean gargoyles or grotesques?"I'm enjoying those comparisons you made, especially Eduardo Mendez being like The Joker. That made me smile, just like the actual Joker would have. And to answer your questions, I mean actual gargoyles, not grotesques. Thank you so much for the feedback, Deepak! You're a cool guy! :)
Deepak - I would be honored if you relayed one of my stories to your cousin! I feel that is a very high compliment and I thank you so much! I really appreciate your kind words!
Bailey wrote: "Hope I'm not too late. If so, oh well, at least I can share this with all of you :)Author: Bailey Barbour
Title: Broken lights
Words: 1,588
Wow, powerful story. What becomes of poor Captain Miller? This was a great read!
Deepak wrote: "Wrong time to install Skyrim = When you don’t get an idea to write. So not doing that again. I loved this week’s topic but I could not get any idea to work on. All that I could come up with could e..."Thanks for commenting! True, a lot of vampire stories (that involve vampires that kill and don't sparkle) portray them as inherently selfish and evil creatures. I'm in the editing stages right now with a novel about vampires that are more like your average people.
Some are pretty evil. Some don't even kill when they drink. One might be the guy buying baby clothes next to you in line at the store. Some are mass murderers. Some are timid and shy. One might be the girl you're playing World of Warcraft with.
It's a bit of a different take as far as your classic vampire literature but to me it seems more realistic. Who says someone's personality has to change just because their species has?
ARIELLE- I loved this story, especially how you wrap it together at the end by talking about her being in her favorite place, but not dreaming. The storyline flowed nicely across the timeline. I'm not sure if it was the accent no flowing naturally or the voice of the narrator seeming like a child, but something about that felt off.BAILEY- A very interesting story. I could feel the frustration of the main character when he can not remember what happened to him, and the frightening emotions when he almost did.
Melissa, Edward, Marie and Deepak,Thank you all for reading my story and for your positive comments.
Thank you Marie and Connie! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
Arielle wrote: "Title: Becky Word Count: 1346
Comments/critiques welcome
You know that moment right ‘fore you wake up when you’re half way b‘tween sleepin’ and awake? When the sun light is still soft like and a..."
I loved the Southern twang to this tale - I see you're from Carolina so I'm sure it comes naturally! Great little story of someone overcoming their genetics and turning into a positive person. Good stuff, and welcome to Goodreads!
Bailey wrote: "Hope I'm not too late. If so, oh well, at least I can share this with all of you :)Author: Bailey Barbour
Title: Broken lights
Words: 1,588
I saw a light…
I’m dead.
Or at least, I think I am..."
Nice ambiguous ending. Did Miller betray his country? It's never 100% clear, which allows us to be just as confused as our protagonist. I like the whole 'Homeland' feel to this tale. Good job.
Deepak wrote: "Edward – Have you read Nemesis by Asimov? If not, you should read it. I think that was my third Asimov book and your story played out like an introduction to it. I loved it although one has to think what the astronomers were doing for so long. They had one job, to look at the pretty stars and they go wrong with that..."I've not read 'Nemesis', although if I did it would also be my 3rd Asimov book. Grr, it's not amongst my to-read epubs either. Stupid astronomers - too busy watching 'Game Of Thrones' to bother with stars and stuff. :)
Garrison wrote: "I'm enjoying those comparisons you made, especially Eduardo Mendez being like The Joker. That made me smile, just like the actual Joker would have. And to answer your questions, I mean actual gargoyles, not grotesques. Thank you so much for the feedback, Deepak! You're a cool guy! :) ..."http://i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/f...
Mr. Xavier just got a lot more posh in my head just because of the gargoyles. He knows his architecture.
Marie wrote: "Thanks for commenting! True, a lot of vampire stories (that involve vampires that kill and don't sparkle) portray them as inherently selfish and evil creatures..."I grew up watching a bit of Buffy and that probably might be why I prefer to have them as the antagonists but like I said I have sided with the vampires sometime. I'd actually watched a lot more of Angel than Buffy now that I think of it. And I'm not even going to talk about sparkly vampires; except this one sentence.
The approach that you've taken with the novel that the vampires exist and are unnoticed is quite radical if you ask me. Most media now makes it a point to compare their struggles with the real world like with the X-Men. They literally mirror real life minorities and so I think everyone would like it when there's a story where there is not as much conflict just because people are different. I'm looking forward to reading it.
Edward wrote: "I've not read 'Nemesis', although if I did it would also be my 3rd Asimov book. Grr, it's not amongst my to-read epubs either. Stupid astronomers - too busy watching 'Game Of Thrones' to bother with stars and stuff. :) ."Nemesis stands as my favorite Asimov story next to the Last Question. I'm looking forward to what you think of it now that I know that you haven't read it.
Oh GoT, you're one of the worst weapons of mass distraction. *shakes head*
Deepak wrote: "Marie wrote: "Thanks for commenting! True, a lot of vampire stories (that involve vampires that kill and don't sparkle) portray them as inherently selfish and evil creatures..."I grew up watching..."
Yes, I wanted them to be in the shadows for the most part. Every day people don't know they exist. It gives some of them limitations as far as killing and showing off in public.
I'm working hard on this puppy and really want to get it published this year. Wish me luck!
Marie wrote: "Yes, I wanted them to be in the shadows for the most part. Every day people don't know they exist. It gives some of them limitations as far as killing and showing off in public. I'm working hard on this puppy and really want to get it published this year. Wish me luck!"
You should set up a kickstarter campaign - I was thinking about doing the same thing...
Edward wrote: "Marie wrote: "Yes, I wanted them to be in the shadows for the most part. Every day people don't know they exist. It gives some of them limitations as far as killing and showing off in public. I'm ..."
I have no idea what that is. Do tell.
Marie wrote: "I have no idea what that is. Do tell."It's a website where you ask people to give you monetary support for a project. Books, films, music, etc... It sounds like a good way of gaining interest and finding out if there is an interest in your book. People offer insentives, like if they support you with $50 you give them a free copy of your book (obviously they've actually paid towards the book, but you get the idea).
Check it out, I'm thinking of doing it once I've proofed my latest book again.
Sounds like a good idea. Good way to scare up some cash for a self pub. I might do that for other projects but this one I'm trying to find an agent for. Thanks for the idea though!
I've been trying agents for ages. Here's hoping you have better luck than I have! :)
I somehow doubt it but thanks! I don't really know how to give up when it comes to my writing. I've been trying for years with certain stories and I can get pretty discouraged but I'm trying to be more optimistic. I've had a lot of great people helping me with my manuscript and my query letter lately so I'm hoping this year I will be more successful with other aspects of my life. Like agent hunting.
We shall see.
Marie wrote: "I somehow doubt it but thanks! I don't really know how to give up when it comes to my writing. I've been trying for years with certain stories and I can get pretty discouraged but I'm trying to be ..."I wish you the best of luck. And you're right. I got discouraged when I self published because I didn't really get any support, but I've been trying publishing agents again for the last year and, while I'm waiting, I just write a new book and then try that one. We all just have to keep trying until someone recognises our potential.
Exactly! If the people we know in real life are not supportive, go to your Goodreads friends!The most important people in my life think my writing is a joke and that used to really hurt me. Then I found some great people online who support and encourage me. I have online friends who offer great advice about my writing, give me some laughs, and remind me that I can always improve and should always strive to better myself and my writing.
Keep trying! Some day someone will read your work and fall in love. And if that person isn't an agent, that's okay. You've just touched someone's life.
And for me, that's what it's all about.
That's why I try to write something every week on this forum. It keeps my spririts up when someone says they like my writing, even if it's something I didn't think was any good. :P
This group is a great place to get inspired. I can be at a loss for a while and read the weekly topic and suddenly, ideas are flowing like mad!
So true - I've got at least three possible book ideas out of this group, and that's just since December!
Hear ye! The tavern is open, the ale is served, the polls are up, it's time to vote.Stories: https://www.goodreads.com/poll/show/1...
Poems: https://www.goodreads.com/poll/show/1...
Have a great week!
- The mods
Thank you all for your kind words and feedback! I was super nervous submitting for the first time! Everyones story was so great, I can tell I am among professionals :) This is fun!
I wish I was a professional. Professionals get paid. :P
Edward wrote: "I wish I was a professional. Professionals get paid. :P"Right!
Edward – Have you read Nemesis by Asimov? If not, you should read it. I think that was my third Asimov book and your story played out like an introduction to it. I loved it although one has to think what the astronomers were doing for so long. They had one job, to look at the pretty stars and they go wrong with that.
Marie – It’s not a lot of times that I’ve sided with vampires and since most portrayals make them bloodthirsty self-centered people, I’ve never liked them. When I started that’s what I thought but as I read I ended up rooting for Lionel. The backstory reminded me of the Weapon X program that ‘created’ Wolverine as we know him. It might be a bit overused now, secret military association trying to create the perfect weapon and then destroying all evidence but I think it might be a good direction to go if you plan on making a sequel to it and I think you should.
Melissa – You write the most heartwarming feel-good stories. I swear, I might end up using one of your stories for my cousin. She’s always asks me to tell her stories when I go visit her and I always end up taking sometime to make up a story or remember one from childhood. I loved the story and the Aesop. The fact that they were fireflies? Did not see that coming. It fit the theme perfectly.
Garrison – Fahrenheit 451 meets vigilantes. Eduardo is unhinged and what you’d expect from a person like that. He showed shades of the Joker which I always find very nice since a character like that usually writes himself. I just hope Mr. Xavier has learnt his lesson. Although there’s a small thing I want to ask. When you say gargoyles, do you mean gargoyles or grotesques?
Anne – Cosmic entities. Planet manipulation. What’s not to love? That’s probably how our universe was created. We may never know if there’s someone there right now who’s looking at our universe and going, “Look at the tiny little universe, all growing up.”
Connie – While the light motif that your story possesses may not be shared, I think I can safely that everyone has gone through a similar experience. You gave me flashbacks and to be honest I had quite a chuckle at a few of them. Great story and I love the bookends so much.
Arielle – People like this medium because what we read plays out in our head and we’re transported to the place the story talks about, even if that place is fictional. In my head, it played out like a movie. It was a great read!