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What really happened to the dinosaurs? And how come the Bible doesn't mention dinosaurs? (A satirical discussion thread from deep inside the Underground mental asylum - DISCLAIMER: consult with your shrink before reading and post at your own risk!)
message 1051:
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J.D.
(new)
Feb 11, 2016 09:28AM
It should be obvious by now that the Dinosaurs figured out the universe 65 million years ago. They ascended, but first they tweaked a giant asteroid's path to cover the ascension. Later, one of them reincarnated as a human in order to be crucified. He said that it had something to do with sins, but I suspect he just missed being embodied.
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J.D. wrote: "It should be obvious by now that the Dinosaurs figured out the universe 65 million years ago. They ascended, but first they tweaked a giant asteroid's path to cover the ascension. Later, one of the..."Ah the old Jesus Dinosaur theory!
Best theory yet.
Any proof?
James Morcan wrote: "J.D. wrote: "It should be obvious by now that the Dinosaurs figured out the universe 65 million years ago. They ascended, but first they tweaked a giant asteroid's path to cover the ascension. Late..."It isn't an accident that our society is dependent on 'the scales of justice'. Other than that, what religion has proof? The assumptions of Dinosaurainty is as sound as any religion's.
Well Jesus was based on Dino-ysus.(Hm, I'm sure I've made that joke before. I've run out of material.)
At least members of Dinosaurainty don't try to convert me.In fact, they are so low-key I've never heard of that religion.
But this brings up another point: Do animals have a faith or ever consider life after death?
YES? NO?
How would we know either way?
Photographic evidence to show dinosaurs and humans co-existed on the planet together: https://www.goodreads.com/photo/group...
Harry wrote: "Well Jesus was based on Dino-ysus.(Hm, I'm sure I've made that joke before. I've run out of material.)"
Our newest convert!
James Morcan wrote: "At least members of Dinosaurainty don't try to convert me.In fact, they are so low-key I've never heard of that religion.
But this brings up another point: Do animals have a faith or ever conside..."
I have seen animals considering the afterlife. They sniff, nudge, repeat. Then they go find someone more active to play with.
Sniff, nudge, repeat...Sounds like animals are about as philosophical as the average human then!
But seriously, what if dinos with their bigger brains became spiritual and wanted to be in heaven now so they suicided out together at once ala Jonestown, Waco and Heaven's Gate?
If all that's true, then the next question is obvious: What was their equivalent of cyanide-laced Kool-Aid?
J.D. wrote: "Harry wrote: "Well Jesus was based on Dino-ysus.(Hm, I'm sure I've made that joke before. I've run out of material.)"
Our newest convert!"
Sign me up to the new cult.
Harry wrote: "J.D. wrote: "Harry wrote: "Well Jesus was based on Dino-ysus.(Hm, I'm sure I've made that joke before. I've run out of material.)"
Our newest convert!"
Sign me up to the new cult."
Got you down on the list. One of our most venerable traditions is the small mammal hunt. They taste great in a salad made from various plants that look like ferns. We are not great on botany, being reptiles and all.
Guys! I think I discovered a new dino! The Weird Alosaur!!! We must get this displayed in museums all over the world.
...
Fay wrote: "Guys! I think I discovered a new dino! The Weird Alosaur!!! We must get this displayed in museums all over the world.
..."
You found the high priest of the Dinosaurainian High Clergy engaged in the yearly small mammal hunt! A wonderful catch, Fay!
Fay wrote: "Guys! I think I discovered a new dino! The Weird Alosaur!!! We must get this displayed in museums all over the world.
..."
That dino-man looks like Howard Stern.
James Morcan wrote: "Fay wrote: "To be honest, I think dinosaurs alone completely shatter Christian fundamentalism's viewpoint that the world is only 6,000-10,000 years old. And I should reiterate only about 5% of Christians worldwide (and maybe 10% of US Christians) believe the Earth is only 10,000 years old and that dinos were around that recently. These are biblical literalists who add up all the life ages from Adam onwards that are listed in the Old Testament...."For the record, I don't believe this myself, but I find the idea fascinating nonetheless. The idea of a God is as someone all powerful. This is a being that according to the bible created the universe and the world in six days. I hear the argument that God created the fossil record to test our faith. With the abilities we believe God to possess, it is within the realm of possibility that that he waved the entire fossil record into existence. Those long-extinct plants and animals including the dinosaurs may never have actually existed, rather God created those fictional animals in the ground and made it appear they were older than those thousands of years since Adam and Eve. For all we know, the dinosaurs were animals God thought about placing on Earth, but decided not to, so he placed them in the fossil record.
We as a species get passionate about the religion vs. science debate, but the problem with debating against religion is that the existence of an all-powerful God throws any conflicting "evidence" into doubts as a fiction created by his mystical abilities.
J.J. wrote: "James Morcan wrote: "Fay wrote: "To be honest, I think dinosaurs alone completely shatter Christian fundamentalism's viewpoint that the world is only 6,000-10,000 years old. And I should reiterate ..."So the Earth could also be just a minute old!
Isn't the whole dinosaurs versus religion thing a little like a cat chasing its own tail? Woah! I bet dinosaurs did that too!
That sure was a funny post, J.J.I like your sense of humor
Unless...Of course...hang on a minute...Don't tell you are serious about dino fossils being the result of God almost creating dinos then thinking better???
No surely not...
Therefore I'll keep assuming your post was a joke and keep laughing...
No, I don't believe it, but as an author it's important to consider alternate possibilities. The idea of religion and a god that willed everything into existence bears similarities to the Matrix and the idea that our lives are computer programs. The problem with rationally debating science vs. religion is that if you were to accept the existence of such a god, it opens the possibility that everything we perceive is a creation of that god. Science only exists because god created it. The fossil record only exists because god put it there. so on and so on. The only ways you could accept both science and religion is with a more moderate version of god who created everything according to pre-established rules, and that the specific interpretation of a 4-6k year old earth is incorrect. Because any challenge to the fundamentalist arguments can be shot down with "but...God."
J.J. wrote: "No, I don't believe it, but as an author it's important to consider alternate possibilities. The idea of religion and a god that willed everything into existence bears similarities to the Matrix an..."I get your point now.
And yeah, I agree that everyone in such debates is basically arguing within their own framework of what they think is proven.
But yes, at deeper levels like the matrix theory or the Hindus belief in Maya (this world is illusory), then I tend to agree with you that everything is up for debate...
The Bible doesn't mention kangaroos, either. Or koala bears, or Komodo dragons, or a lot of other animals whose names begin with K. Not to mention llamas, alpacas, buffalo, wildebeest, lemurs, meerkats, jaguars, ocelots, praying mantises, boa constrictors, or even Mexican jumping beans. :-) It also doesn't mention cactus, seaweed, orchids, ginkgo trees, corn (i.e. maize), Lima beans, acorn squash, coconuts, palm trees, kudzu, tomatoes, potatoes, pineapples, chili peppers, coffee, cocoa, rhubarb, and thousands of other species of plants. The Bible reveals its narrowness with extant species, not just extinct species.
Mark wrote: "The Bible doesn't mention kangaroos, either. Or koala bears, or Komodo dragons, or a lot of other animals whose names begin with K. Not to mention llamas, alpacas, buffalo, wildebeest, lemurs, meer..."But if, as 6000 year old Earth Christian Fundamentalists believe, dinos and humans lived side by side, I'd suggest something the size of a T-Rex would deserve a bit more of a mention than, say, a llama.
I think that god may have some super catnip, let's call it godnip. He sprayed the Arc liberally with it, and all of the animals wanted to make love, not fast food, for the duration. Then the LLama would be the same as the T-Rex in the sight of our hypothetical, cat derived, myopic and geometrically challenged god.
If God only created fossils of dinosaurs and not the actual dinos then... I don't even know. That is so preposterous to me. Oh dear.
Time to consider the unthinkable, Fay...God is a dino!!
James Morcan wrote: "Time to consider the unthinkable, Fay...God is a dino!!"
I just love this discussion. Aha!
All hail the Dino God!
Logic dictates that the One true God must be the Dino god of Truth. Therefore, it is given that He would not attempt to lie to the mammalian scum known as humans by creating false fossils of the superior organisms related to Godzilla. He would proudly reveal the truth to the despair of the warm bloods. Well, the other warm bloods, since there is a real chance that the dinosaurs included warm blooded species.
May the great Dino God bless us all, and smite our insectoid enemies!
J.D. wrote: "Logic dictates that the One true God must be the Dino god of Truth..."But Dino God of Truth,
Why have you forsaken me?
His plan has made the world, and he has sent one of his dark claws to be a needed opposition, that the Art be dynamic, and he has set you, his only begotten egg, to take from the many peoples of the Dinosaurian world the sins of pacifism and grass eating, that they may have everlasting life hunting the evil mammalians around the great watering hole in the sky.
"the sins of pacifism and grass eating" - hahaha!Dino God, please forgive T-Rex and the other badass dinos, they know not what they do.
Okay, big guy?
Meanwhile, I hear a rumor some of the male dinos are building me something out of wood, something they said will allow me "to go out with a bang" and be remembered for the next 2,000 years or so. Not sure what this wooden thing is yet, but I'll let you know.
p.s. What happens to sacrilegious dinos, by the way? :)
According to the great Roger Z., they soon are sold at a roadside eatry run by a Colonel Sanders as Ye Olde Lizard Parts.
J.D. wrote: "According to the great Roger Z., they soon are sold at a roadside eatry run by a Colonel Sanders as Ye Olde Lizard Parts."Oh ok, that's not too bad...As long as it's not eternal damnation or anything.
On a serious note, does anyone know how long dinos lived for? Longer than humans?
The Bible also doesn't mention eggplant, okra or taro. I bring this up 'cause I REALLY HATE eggplant, okra and taro. The Bible also doesn't mention Habanero peppers. I bring this up because some spicy food might have loosened the Israelites up a little. It would have done them good. At least they were spared the abomination of American cheese. Not to mention Chee-tos. And Spam. And chow chow isn't so great either.
James Morcan wrote: "J.D. wrote: "According to the great Roger Z., they soon are sold at a roadside eatry run by a Colonel Sanders as Ye Olde Lizard Parts."Oh ok, that's not too bad...As long as it's not eternal damn..."
Those that are not eaten become one with the petroleum reserve.
Life span is a hard one. If they are similar to modern reptiles, life is all over the map. Big turtles and crocs could live for hundreds of years. Some small ones are seasonal. I suspect that most of them did not have an expiration date (aging to death) but they died of accidents, wear and tear, and getting eaten by something bigger. Most of them probably never made it to adulthood, of course.
The great reptiles probably mostly lived hard and died young. The giant sauropods that made it to adulthood were probably like elephants, i.e., too big to have any major predators. I say "great reptiles" instead of "dinosaurs" because dinosaurs were only one of the three major groups of great reptiles, the other two being the ichthyosaurs, the great marine reptiles, and the pterosaurs, the great flying reptiles. They are always forgotten when talking about the Age of Reptiles. And dead great reptiles generally didn't get added to the petroleum reserves. Most coal and oil come from Carboniferous plant deposits, which preceded even the Permian period. In the Carboniferous, climatic and atmospheric conditions were such that world flora was more luxuriant than at any time before or since. The atmospheric oxygen content was about 35% instead of today's 21%. That was the age of the giant bugs: Spiders the size of footballs, centipedes the length of Buicks, dragonflies the size of eagles (with appetites to match), etc. Our human civilization would have to make major adjustments to such a high oxygen concentration because all combustion would be more dangerous and e.g. lightning strikes could cause explosions that could level whole neighborhoods and start huge uncontrollable conflagrations.
So did many dinos (and other great reptiles) die of lightning strikes?
Now I want to chase giant bugs with torches on steroids from excess oxygen. I still think that being added to the oil reserves would be a great afterlife for a dinosaur, but Mark has a great point. Not all dinosaurs were deserving of being sent to dino heaven. Fear not, the ichthyosaurs are not forgotten. I believe that one of my aunts on my mother's side might have been one. At least, everyone called her ichy.
James Morcan wrote: "So did many dinos (and other great reptiles) die of lightning strikes?"I heard that dinosaurs had a better chance of getting hit by lightning than of winning the lottery.
James Morcan wrote: "Harry wrote: "Krishna wrote: "time traveller dinos??"There's gotta be a bad B-movie called that somewhere."
Already in the works, mate...Why else do you think I'm doing all this sophisticated re..."
I wanna see the movie! LOL
Are there Eloi dinos in this movie of yours?
J.D. wrote: "Are there Eloi dinos in this movie of yours?"It's gonna be a movie based on the TRUTHS of the 6,000 year-old Earth believers. So, because of these ultimate TRUTHS (just add up the ages from Adam and Eve down and you get to 6,000 years), human characters and dino characters will obviously have to share screen-time.
I have met many people in life who, based on their personalities, probably ate their young. As this is not a generally acknowledged human activity, can I assume that there is a fifth column of dino infiltrators in the human population? Perhaps the Illuminati are actually dinosaur manipulators behind the scenes? I have always assumed that the last of the Anunnaki were the Unseen Masters, but maybe it is dinosaurs? James, if that is your real name, are you actually a dinosaur hiding behind an Avatar of a philosophical human male? Where are my meds, anyway? Now, what was I saying?
J.D. wrote: "James, if that is your real name, are you actually a dinosaur hiding behind an Avatar of a philosophical human male?..."Why do things always have to be one extreme or another? A human OR a dino...
Why can't they be shades of both?
A human who has the ability to shapeshift, for example.
Just giving examples of course, nothing serious...
I have never understood why the super abilities have to be so active. For example, I have the super ability to occupy space without performing any activity, or manifesting any exotic materials or energies. If I were to don a set of leotards and a cape, they might call me 'The Boat Anchor', or perhaps 'The Sinister Spectator' if I were the antihero. If I drew a picture of any part of the universe, it would be a stick figure, boiling down the object to the essence of its existence. The great Frog in the Cave by Hesse would be something to me, but I would be too inactive to discern what. Come to think of it, is that how weredinos feel, before sunning themselves?
Underground Knowledge — A discussion group
Books mentioned in this topic
Secrets of the Ica Stones and Nazca Lines: proofs that dinosaurs and man lived together (other topics)Secrets of the Ica Stones and Nazca Lines: proofs that dinosaurs and man lived together (other topics)
Secrets of the Ica Stones and Nazca Lines: proofs that dinosaurs and man lived together (other topics)
The Dinosaur Knights (other topics)
The Dinosaur Lords (other topics)
More...
Authors mentioned in this topic
Michael Crichton (other topics)Rupert Sheldrake (other topics)
Richard Dawkins (other topics)
