Hello! here's my 1st Goodreads query attempt for Operation Chimera. I hope you'll take the time to give me some feedback! If you want to beta or ask for me to critique your query in exchange, please let me know.
QUERY:
[Personalized line to agent]
Herbert Patterson is the younger brother of the Speaker of the House. He also is a framed man tossed into Lifinis, the United States’ prison state.
Thora Valk is a mercenary who gets hired to enter Lifinis to kill a United States official codenamed Chimera and to break Herbert out. She agrees to this for her own reasons, which is to rescue someone else trapped inside Lifinis as well.
Jaden Vasquez is a former military man who has befriended Herbert inside Lifinis. Once he learns about Thora’s plan to break Herbert out, he pledges his marksmanship skill in exchange for the opportunity to escape as well.
Nothing stands between them and freedom except:
Soldiers;
Watches clamped around their nerves that will paralyze them with pain if they break the rules of Lifinis;
And LSP, which streams the vision of one randomly-chosen prisoner each 24 hours.
When LSP chooses Herbert on the day of the escape before the plan begins, and he sees Thora, whose Watch did not activate when she broke a rule, soldiers begin chasing them down at the crack of dawn.
The team needs to band together to find a way to prevent soldiers from finding their position via Herbert’s vision, to figure out how to deactivate Herbert’s and Jaden’s Watches before they paralyze them with pain when they break a rule by missing the start of their work shift, and to kill Chimera somehow.
All before noon, which is when Chimera would be leaving the prison, dooming the team to be trapped in Lifinis for the rest of their lives.
OPERATION CHIMERA is a 104,000-word speculative fiction work with series potential that fans of Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah’s CHAIN-GANG ALL-STARS will enjoy. I’m Sam Lopez, a Deaf author.
QUERY:
[Personalized line to agent]
Herbert Patterson is the younger brother of the Speaker of the House. He also is a framed man tossed into Lifinis, the United States’ prison state.
Thora Valk is a mercenary who gets hired to enter Lifinis to kill a United States official codenamed Chimera and to break Herbert out. She agrees to this for her own reasons, which is to rescue someone else trapped inside Lifinis as well.
Jaden Vasquez is a former military man who has befriended Herbert inside Lifinis. Once he learns about Thora’s plan to break Herbert out, he pledges his marksmanship skill in exchange for the opportunity to escape as well.
Nothing stands between them and freedom except:
Soldiers;
Watches clamped around their nerves that will paralyze them with pain if they break the rules of Lifinis;
And LSP, which streams the vision of one randomly-chosen prisoner each 24 hours.
When LSP chooses Herbert on the day of the escape before the plan begins, and he sees Thora, whose Watch did not activate when she broke a rule, soldiers begin chasing them down at the crack of dawn.
The team needs to band together to find a way to prevent soldiers from finding their position via Herbert’s vision, to figure out how to deactivate Herbert’s and Jaden’s Watches before they paralyze them with pain when they break a rule by missing the start of their work shift, and to kill Chimera somehow.
All before noon, which is when Chimera would be leaving the prison, dooming the team to be trapped in Lifinis for the rest of their lives.
OPERATION CHIMERA is a 104,000-word speculative fiction work with series potential that fans of Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah’s CHAIN-GANG ALL-STARS will enjoy. I’m Sam Lopez, a Deaf author.