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Critique Partners and Swaps > which chapter is better as a 1st chapter - YA contemporary

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message 1: by Melody (new)

Melody McWhorter | 10 comments Hello all. I have two first chapters for my manuscript and would love to know which chapter would make a better opening for my YA contemporary. One chapter is 2700 words, the other 3100, so not long readings. No need to critique anything unless you see any glaring issues. Here is a blurb about the story:

Caden’s heart and soul are filled with dreams of becoming the next World Surf Champion, and he just might be able to do it—if he could ever finish a competition without accidentally breaking the rules or getting thrown out for fighting.

Jen just wants to have fun and get as much out of beach life as she can: flirting with boys, surfing with Caden, and partying a little too hard with her girlfriends.

Teenagers Caden and Jen come of age and navigate their friendship around a drunken father Jen will do anything to protect, a surf bully that Caden just can’t overcome, and the love that Caden has for Jen that he knows he will lose if he breaks his promise—on pain of death by surfing—trying to protect Jen from her father.

As the surfing stakes intensify for Caden, and Jen’s beach fun takes a soused and soaked turn, they will have to make choices for their futures that will affect their friendship and the something more that has started in their hearts. When a late night out causes Caden to witness a crime, he must decide whether to continue keeping Jen’s secret or break his promise and risk losing her forever.

Thanks!


message 2: by Rachel (new)

Rachel | 25 comments I can read them. I am also in that situation, and I know it can be tough to choose. Feel free to reach out to message.-R


message 3: by D.T. (new)

D.T. | 45 comments First, that blurb is well put together!

I could read both chapters and give an opinion.


message 4: by Melody (new)

Melody McWhorter | 10 comments Thanks so much! Let me know how you'd like to receive them. I can attach as a document or do Google docs. Or paste in an email. Whatever is easiest for you. Mjs5755@aol.com


It's a Solid Maybe  | 4 comments If youre still looking for another opinion, I'm happy to read both and share my thoughts.


message 6: by Melody (new)

Melody McWhorter | 10 comments Rachel wrote: "I can read them. I am also in that situation, and I know it can be tough to choose. Feel free to reach out to message.-R"

Thanks so much! Let me know how you'd like to receive them. I can attach as a document or do Google docs. Or paste in an email. Whatever is easiest for you. Mjs5755@aol.com


message 7: by Melody (new)

Melody McWhorter | 10 comments Mon wrote: "If youre still looking for another opinion, I'm happy to read both and share my thoughts."

Thanks so much! Let me know how you'd like to receive them. I can attach as a document or do Google docs. Or paste in an email. Whatever is easiest for you. Mjs5755@aol.com


message 8: by Sarah (new)

Sarah | 24 comments Hi ☺️ I'm happy to read both of your chapters and see which one works better as an opening chapter of you're looking for another opinion.


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