Question B

[Jonetta]

After having miscarried, Sam is not emotionally ready to try getting pregnant again but doesn’t want to tell Nick before the wedding, fearing it will upset him. Instead, she secretly gets a birth control shot, planning to not tell him until after the honeymoon. She ended up telling him but what were your thoughts about her original plan?

[Sharon]

I don’t like secrets at the beginning of a lifetime commitment. It is silly to believe that a couple will always agree, but secrets are a bad foundation. Sam needs to trust that Nick will support her and comfort her and vice versa. She isn’t there which is disappointing.

[Charlene]

I was uncomfortable with Sam's getting the shot without talking with Nick in advance. He might have been disappointed, but I think he would understand her trauma and support her.

[Susan]

Sam seems to keep a lot of things from Nick and its eventually going to bite her on her a... I don't agree with this decision not to tell him. Nick is a great guy and would definitely understand what she is doing and why. He is very supportive.

[Robin]

I think she was wrong not to tell him. She seems to think she has to protect Nick all of the time, so she keeps important things from him because he may get hurt. This guy is not frail. He can handle it. I think the only time we've seen him off of his game is when his mother came into the picture.

[Lauren]

This is my problem with Sam. She is so self-absorbed, and the ease with which she keeps important information from Nick and makes decisions that affect him without consulting with him is troubling.

A marriage that has no trust is doomed to fail.

[Anita]

I well understand Sam's feelings about getting pregnant again. She needed some time and space to adjust to her life with Nick and to be emotionally ready to try again. She is not a quitter, she will try for a baby again, but just not right now.

But, it is never good when she couldn't be upfront with him about something like this. He would have understood, I'm sure. I am concerned why she didn't think he would.

[Lauren]

I have no problem with Sam's feelings or decisions. My issue is her apparent inability or unwillingness to consider Nick's feelings and be honest with him up front.
A marriage is a partnership yet Sam does what she likes and informs Nick after when her guilty conscience gets to her - this is not a good basis for a marriage.

[Jonetta]

My feelings mirror what Sharon said almost to the letter. Sam’s feelings about whether she wants to try or not are hers and she has the right to feel whatever way she does about it. But on the eve of getting married, it’s a terrible decision to hide her true feelings from her soon-to-be husband.