Book Review - “How to Be Sick (Second Edition): A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and Their Caregivers" by Toni Bernhard

[RICHARD]

In Tony Bernhard's "How to Be Sick," I discovered a compassionate guide that resonated deeply with my journey through chronic illness. Having faced similar struggles, Bernhard's insights became a comforting beacon of understanding. Her writing, crystal clear and empathetic, provided me with practical wisdom on acceptance, mindfulness, and adapting to a new way of life. This book isn't just a guide; it's a source of solace and encouragement, emphasizing the importance of finding inner peace and happiness amidst the challenges. Whether in print or through the audio version, "How to Be Sick" stands as a heartfelt companion, offering practical tools for coping and adapting to the realities of chronic illness. It truly became a source of connection and understanding on my personal path.

“Toni Bernhard offers a lifeline to those whose lives have been devastated by illness, and shows us all how to transform suffering into peace and even joy.”

— LYNN ROYSTER FUENTES, founder of Chronic Illness Initiative at DePaul University.

Book Review - "How to Be Sick" and "How to Live Well with Chronic Pain and Illness" by Toni Bernhard

Living with ME/CFS can be an arduous and overwhelming journey, often filled with uncertainty and challenges. In "How to Be Sick" and "How to Live Well with Chronic Pain and Illness," Toni Bernhard offers a lifeline of wisdom, compassion, and practical guidance to those navigating the complexities of chronic illness, specifically tailored for individuals living with ME/CFS. With her firsthand experience of living with chronic illness, Bernhard's books serve as invaluable companions, providing solace and empowering readers to embrace a life of well-being, despite the limitations imposed by their condition.

Cultivating Self-Compassion: Bernhard's books beautifully emphasize the importance of self-compassion for those living with ME/CFS. By acknowledging the challenges and accepting the limitations, readers can begin to cultivate a gentle and loving relationship with themselves, leading to greater emotional resilience and inner peace.

Mindfulness for Coping: "How to Be Sick" and "How to Live Well with Chronic Pain and Illness" introduce readers to mindfulness practices that can help them navigate the daily struggles of ME/CFS. Through mindfulness, individuals can learn to stay present and cope with the ups and downs of their condition with greater equanimity.

Managing Energy and Pacing: One of the most significant challenges of living with ME/CFS is managing energy levels effectively. Bernhard offers practical advice on pacing activities and creating a balanced daily routine, helping readers make the most of their limited energy while avoiding exacerbating their symptoms.

Finding Meaning and Joy: Despite the challenges of chronic illness, Toni Bernhard inspires readers to find meaning and joy in their lives. She encourages readers to explore new hobbies, nurture their passions, and connect with what brings them happiness, even within the limitations of ME/CFS.

Navigating Social Relationships: Bernhard's books delve into the complexities of maintaining social connections while living with chronic illness. Readers will find guidance on setting boundaries, communicating their needs, and fostering understanding among friends and family.

Coping with Flare-Ups: "How to Be Sick" and "How to Live Well with Chronic Pain and Illness" offer practical strategies for managing flare-ups, from physical discomfort to emotional distress. Readers will learn to cope with difficult moments with grace and patience.

Fostering Inner Strength: Bernhard's insightful teachings focus on building inner strength and resilience to face the challenges of ME/CFS. Her empowering messages help readers tap into their inner resources and harness their strengths in navigating life with chronic illness.

Gratitude and Mindful Living: In both books, Bernhard highlights the transformative power of gratitude and living mindfully. By embracing gratitude for the present moment and finding joy in simple pleasures, readers can enhance their overall well-being and find peace amidst the storm.

Toni Bernhard's "How to Be Sick" and "How to Live Well with Chronic Pain and Illness" are a treasure trove of wisdom and support for those living with ME/CFS. Her authentic and empathetic approach makes these books feel like a conversation with a wise friend who truly understands the challenges of chronic illness. Readers will find solace, guidance, and renewed hope within the pages of these books, empowering them to embark on a journey of self-discovery, acceptance, and well-being, despite the challenges posed by ME/CFS.

You can have a look at “How to Be Sick (Second Edition): A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and Their Caregivers” here: https://amzn.to/47HQ7O2

[RICHARD]

"How to Be Sick" by Tony Bernhard was a life-changing read for me about 20 years ago. At that time, there were no chronic fatigue support groups worth going to, and I felt isolated in my struggle. The book became a source of intelligent insight, offering understanding when I was depressed and dysfunctional. It helped me accept my mysterious illness and embark on a more positive journey. While it took years to fully integrate the teachings, they became paramount in shaping a healthier perspective on living with the illness. Although I still live with chronic fatigue syndrome, I find that my days are now significantly more fulfilling and joyful. And in the past several months, much like Tony Bernhard, I have discovered meaning and purpose in sharing my journey with others. My sincere intention and hope are to offer support and benefit to anyone with chronic fatigue syndrome who comes across my writings.

[RICHARD]

Here’s an example from chapter 3, from which I learned to respond more “wisely” to my illness, rather than in a way that caused more suffering - such as anger and frustration. I had a strong desire for things to be different, and to escape from the reality of my condition, and to return to the reality of my old life before being ill. Toni writes about what she learned from studying the teachings of the Buddha. In her books she writes, “In offering us the first noble truth, the Buddha was not making a negative pronouncement. He was describing the conditions of life that are shared by all human beings. He presented them as a list of experiences that all of us, including the Buddha, can expect to encounter at one time or another during our lifetimes: birth, aging, illness, death, sorrow, pain, grief, getting what we don’t want, not getting what we want, and losing what we cherish. Notice that illness is on the list, meaning that it’s a natural part of the human life cycle. How many people think of illness as natural? I hadn’t — until I encountered the Buddha’s list. What all the items have in common is that none of them are pleasant experiences; indeed, they are often mentally painful or physically painful. It’s a daunting list, that’s for sure. No wonder people sometimes say that Buddhism is pessimistic. It’s not to me, though. The Buddha was simply being realistic and honest about the human condition. Since all of us will face these experiences at one time or another during our lives, I appreciate that the Buddha was upfront about them so I can start, right now, learning to respond wisely when they occur.”

This made a strong impact on my thinking and experience of the time, and I began making a diligent effort to begin responding more wisely to my illness. I did experience in a immediate sense of relief but it took me quite a few years before I could honestly say I had cultivated a more wise relationship with my illness. Some people learn more quickly and, some not so quickly, and I seem to be in the letter category. But I do feel I am responding more wisely now and I can see how that makes a huge difference. Although I still have chronic fatigue syndrome, I am a much happier person than I was before I read this book.