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message 1751:
by
Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}
(new)
Sep 02, 2016 03:30PM
Bathroom. Now. Run. Hide. Somewhere. No one can see you cry. Run. Hide. Anywhere by here. No. Not again. Not ever.
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Didn't make it to bathroom... Band room corner.... I'm chill now... Whatever...
I.... I don't know how to feel but I feel good? I'm cold... Hungry... Sleepy. Probably should fix that... I forgot to leave a voicemail. >.<
I accidentally called her my girlfriend... Rip...Please don't leave.....
I really miss being able to call you mine tbh....
>.< I just... I'm here. Always.
Finished eating... Good night... Gonna try and wake up before 5....
So... Um... Shadows... >.<
When you aren't sure if you wanna tell her that your arms burn cuz and that you really wanna cry but don't wanna bother her...
*hides*
Breathe... It'll be okay... Just wait it through... Breathe...
"When, my, time comes aroundLay me gently in the cold dark earth
No grave, can hold my body down
I'll crawl home to her."
Feeling bad again. >.<
Rip...
Please say it again. >.<
I miss your voice... >.<
I can't. XD mom next to me. >.<
I love you.
I'm really scared, Kass...
Nothing is... Not right now, at least...
Deep breathes... Think. Cards. Life. Arms aren't burning, that's chill. Head hurting, sleepy. Work in 4 1/2 hours.
Why do I feel like we messed up again?
She was doing her hair... It felt like a lot longer than an hour?? Work is gonna suck man...
<3
Just got off... >.< gonna start asking to get off at 9 daily...
When you have to look through each and every message to make sure your life is actually happening? But yeah..:
But if I go vegan, no more Swiss rolls??
Rip...
When your goods are great but your bads are worse but you don't wanna cut and just feel shitty? >.<
*slowly fades to black* maybe I could try and sleep... Buy some cards later too..,
>.< overthinking and it's not like before cuz now I actually have something to lose again??
Breathe...
Cuz in your mind, in your mind it's over.Cuz you know that I can't stay sober.
And in your mind, in your mind it's over.
This is about as happy as I get.
Gonna try and make food and maybe eat but not sure cuz time...
Honestly I can't do this without you, but right now I'm just feeling like so much shit and I just... Can't?? I don't even know anymore. I can't feel good enough anymore. Cuz I'm not. Im too skinny. Too awkward. I'm too far away.
Every good bye feels like it might be the last. Every opinion or thought I push out of my mind because I don't wanna argue. I don't wanna lose you.
I love you. I love you. I can't sleep anymore. I can't sleep since I lost you. I can't eat anymore. I can't do anything. I'm doing my best to stress myself out and stay busy but when I'm not I feel empty. Every time you aren't here it feels like I lost you all over again. I don't know why I miss you this much... I tried drugs, I tried cutting. None of it helped. I don't know anymore. All I've ever wanted was to have you back, but I didn't expect it to hurt this much. But it's fine... Because when we're alone you make me feel better, right? Good night.
Honestly. If I bring your depression back I think it's high time I take a hike, because you were happy with them.
But damnit I miss you like hell. And I knew it. My dumbass knew it. I'm losing you again.
At Taco Bell dueling...
When you remember when you were feeling like shit and Greg gave you the present from your bag... God that felt amazing.
Think shiv. You're a dueling. You can do this. Head over. Do what you've always wanted to do. But if it's better if you don't, don't. Think. Think.
And... You let her go
Guess I really was just another option...
No work today... Good...
Stayed home today, phone taken for first time in forever. Got some pizza rolls, and like... Really confused... So taking a day off to relax.
