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message 1101:
by
Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}
(new)
Aug 08, 2016 09:04AM
*takes a breathe* life is short, and time again is of the essence, as it so often is. Let's do this. Don't get awkward. Just ask her out. Just Mel's. You deserve this. It's your day off, after all. If not, it's a pokestop, and target isn't too far away. So just write your heart out. I wanna ask Kendra to go to homecoming with me.
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Gonna post the story in a little, just wanna duel some decisions real quick.
Not drinking and smoking and cutting is chill. XD
Yesterday was weird cuz I had a dream about having a very beautiful fiancé. XD
Going on a date todaaayyyyyy
Yuppppp. ZombieSworn said yes to that. So sweeeeeet. Chill vibes Lolz. I feel really like... Jittery and floaty and happy. XD swinging in my swivel chair, dueling in the desktop, who could ask for more? XD
"No I don't just want any pretty face,
wanna wake up next to yours each day.
Baby, won't you be my saving grace tonight, tonight?"
Who wants to rp??? XD I'm in that kinda mood rn. I'm really happy? XD
Made Beatrice miss timing. I'm happy as fuck right now. XD wake uppppp
#habitsofmyheart
Don't surrender when things get bad. Ever. Because, something unexpected might happen. And when it does, everything will change. Oh! My hope is back. XD
Can't kill a dreamer when he doesn't really dream, huh? Lolz
Yo nessito eschuchar musica ahora. Might have spelled a bit wrong. But work is brushing up my Spanish, which is pretty chill. Learned that a coworker got arrested. XD probably shouldn't have heard it but whatevs.
This hit
That ice cold
Michelle Pfeiffer
That white gold
This one for them hood girls
Them good girls
Straight masterpieces
Stylin', wilin
Livin' in up in the city
Got chucks on with Saint Laurent
Gotta kiss myself I'm so pretty
I'm too hot (hot damn)
Call the po-lice and the fireman
I'm too hot (hot damn)
Make a dragon wanna retire, man
I'm too hot (hot damn)
Say my name you know who I am
I'm too hot (hot damn)
And my band 'bout that money
Break it down... YES. XD
Life is good duuuudddeeee
I've been gaining weight too. XD
Damnitttt. Work called me in. 5-9
I WAS GONNA GO ON A FUCKING DATE TODAY I HATE MY LIFE. XD
Damnnniiittttt. I was feeling so great too. XD
I fucking... Make up your fucking mind, life. This shit is ridiculous. I try to have fun, try to go on a date, and I get fucking called in to work. Are you fucking kidding me.
I wanna punch something.... Fucking pissed.
Can't play league like this... Just need to breathe... Breathe... Sh... It'll be fine. It was probably better this way anyway.
Please wake up damnit.
I wanna end it all... But there would be no point in that. Just read the story... You'll get there.
Work is dumb.
>.>>>>
Gonna try and take a nap... Maybe I just need some sleep...
Sets alarm for 2 hours cuz I'm probably walking and need to shower again.
Earned $190 so far, get paid the Tuesday after this one. I should have quite a bit? Gonna take a train to Stockton, or Yosemite, or fly to New York, haven't decided yet.
My writing helped... I'm calm now...
Typing it up now.
"Hope For The Future"A story by me, Shiv Malhotra.
----Night slowly awoke as the light of the morning sun beamed down on his face, filling him with warmth throughout himself. He'd started to get out of bed, and head to work, but paused a moment to look back at the love of his life beside him. He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead, smiling, as he did quite often around her. She still smelled a bit fruity from all of the girly shampoo. He ran a hand through her perfect brunette hair and no longer wanted to get out of bed as much. She just looked so beautiful, in her plains white top and a random pair of underwear. It wasn't sexy, no, she was a total mess, but she made him happy. Happy to be alive, and together, with her. Sure, her stomach caved in a little more than a normal persons, and we weren't born with this many scars, but she's perfect, he thought. He reluctantly started to get up again, but just sat on the edge of the bed and looked down at his scars for a moment. It was alright, to linger a little, because he wakes up and hour earlier to be 'extra' ready for work. Night started to walk out the door of their bedroom, the image of his scars etched in his brain.
---- "Shiv." He heard her quietly call from behind him, and he cringed a little, and all he could think about was nearly a million ways why she'd leave. Then he'd looked back at her beautiful face. She smiled at him, her bright eyes looking back at his. "I love you." She told him. He looked down at his scars, then back at her, then his scars again. He had started to cry a little, and gently lifter her in his arms, and kissed her on the lips. "I love you too..." He replied, taking her out to the kitchen counter and sitting her there, both of them smiling a bit, no one saying a word. So he broke the silence. "Let me make you breakfast, bought just what you'd like." She jumped down and held his hands, tilting her head just barely. "What're you making?" She asked, but he'd kissed her nose, instead of answering. "It's a suprissseeeeee. Now go get reaaaddddyyyyy." He teased, putting emphasis on those two simple words. He'd kissed her lips again. "I love you. Get ready." He repeated. "Mkaaaayyyy. I love you too." She'd told him, heading back toward the bathroom. Then he'd hurriedly turned on the stove, cracking a few eggs to make his beautiful fiancé an omelette because she really loved omelettes. ---
That's part one, of my new story, feedback is much appreciated, and trying to space things out with paragraphs.
So... Kendra said she really loved it but I feel like she was lying. >.<
Almost to work.
Chapter two will be called "Hopes in High Water" thinking about it as I walk 3 miles Lolz.
I've started talking to myself a lot lately. XD I'm going insane. Seems legit.
He let me take a break, off in a little over an hour. I wanna go home but at the same time I hate it. I wanna write. I wanna run. I wanna go away and just be secluded forever and yet I wanna be surrounded by people that actually care about me. I'm really tired...
Really want a cigarette to distract from the burning in my arms.
I don't think I can do this right now.
Sometimes I feel amazing, and that's like... 60% of the time... The other 40% I'm like this.
Life is about 8 different shades of confusing today.
Might try and sleep... I slept at Tony's for about an hour, blasting music in his headphones till they woke me up.
My smart self hoped I'd actually have a dream like last night again. Oops.
Was out till about 2 last night. Didn't smoke but really really wanted to. Got my notebook back, that's what counts.
I'm such a piece of shit I swear.
Can't even fucking fall asleep correctly.
My arms burn and I wanna die so I'm just gonna hide under my blanket and pretend I'm fine.
I'm just so tired of feeling like this.... It won't go away.... It just... Fades to the back and then, when I have nothing else, it comes back and takes over.
I'm a fucking senior and I still feel like I don't belong.
That song used to help a lot but now makes me feel lonely.
