Nightfall's Records Of Recollection Showing 901-950 of 2,012

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

When your mom gets pulled over for speeding too. XDD

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I is tired.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Last night, got high as the expectations lol

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

So, apparently the day I yelled at battin for cutting got her to stop. Go figure. It was like September of 2014. XD


And it also makes shyanne happy that we can now smoke together. Lol

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

YES. FOUND MY ZIPPO LIGHTER MASON GAVE ME WAY BACK WHEN. XD

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Guys... I might have fucked up. Hard.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Trying to get everything for driving permit done today. I kinda wanna give up on life...

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

When you say fuck it and take the test and get mostly the right answers. Just trying to be able to hang tonight, watch movies and smoke

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

*hides all my insecurities with a pack of cigs and monster*

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I need to stop smoking... Fuck dude. This happened fast.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

What's gonna happen next?

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Stitches. >.<

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Might take a walk. Got home around 1, got locked outside for 20 minutes, had to uber home, but I got to stay with friends. So it's alright. And these guys are really cool. And some people are gonna give me shit about everything, as always. But I've learned that you honestly can't please everyone. And right now just getting rid of the pain in my arms with smoke in my lungs.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Fucked up my shoulder falling off her bed yesterday. XD

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

At least I warned everyone that I was already a horrible person.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I've started shaking again at random moments. Like when really hard liquor drops down your stomach and your body like, twitches. Same with bad food. XD but for no reason, at random times. Just did.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I'm a fucking psycho. So stay out my way.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

When you screw up one time and are already a disappointing fuck up again.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Deaunta and Mason... They said they understood. Even if they didn't. Sure they don't like it a whole lot, but they're here, and still willing to hang with me and stuff. No matter how fucked up I get. I told them about the cutting and the smoking. And they both said 'you'll get through it. I know you will'.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Such a fuck up... The only time I feel okay is when I'm pressing that stupid cancer stick to my lips. But I just don't feel like there's anything else I can do. I'm so fucking lost

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

No one else except mr. Fabun and ms. Dean actually made me feel better and proud of being me and stuff. And now I'm just a sack of shit. Tossed out and never to be seen again. .-. :/

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I guess it's hard when no one ever feels like you're a good thing.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

S: Its like a little parasyte that talks and lives off this one guy, I can explain it to much
Me: alright.
Me: Just letting you know, I'm the guy where spelling and grammar errors hurt my mind lol
S: same here.
Albert: ~.~

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I need to walk. And smoke. And just fucking forget everything.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I feel like dying would relieve everyone of so much stress. Battin, Fern, shyanne. Deaunta and Mason wouldn't have to stress about me anymore. Mom doesn't have to worry when I'll be home. And I don't have to feel like this

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Shit... I only ate cereal yesterday. Guess I lost my appetite somewhere in there.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Did living always hurt this much? XD

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

When you know some people a lot better than they know themselves. XD

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

It's 2 am and I can't stop thinking about it....

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Checking into hotel loneliness
It's not what I've been used to, I confess
To wake up three times a night

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

These lonely nights never get any easier.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Nightmares aren't fun... But 4 days clean... And I'm all healed up. I can do this again. It's hard as shit but I'll just lean on anime and candy to not break down. It'll be okay. The loneliness really sucks though. XD

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Don't you dare fucking die Sebastian.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

It's been a week from cutting... I did it. By myself for once...

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

It's weird cuz the nights have gotten harder but the mornings have got me feeling less shitty. Not sure which I'd prefer but still.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

And the loneliness is a bitch but it also ends with me feeling a teeny bit more independent. So I guess that's good.


I wanna play league. O.O gonna see if the guys are up

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I feel reaaallllyyy good today. XD

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Freaking love this weather

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Might go buy some paint and canvas.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Confession: I never actually called my therapist. Just told that to people so they'd stop worrying. I lost ms. K's number when I got a new phone.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

*facepalms* here are the boobs in anime again. XD

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Aw fuck I wanna cut myself.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

And today was gonna be a good day. XD

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Like... I thought urge from wrist to elbow was a bitch, but this is so much worse. XD ugh... I'll be okay I guess...

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Sabrina teaching me about DBZ. XD

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Damnitttttt I miss my old jacket. XD

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Bring Me The Horizon
"Drown"


What doesn't kill you makes you wish you were dead.
Got a hole in my soul, growing deeper and deeper.
And I can't take one more moment of this silence.
The loneliness is haunting me.
And the weight of the world's getting harder to hold up.

It comes in waves, I close my eyes.
Hold my breath and let it bury me.
I'm not okay, and it's not alright.
Won't you drag the lake and bring me home again?

Who will fix me now? Dive in when I'm down?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown.
Who will make me fight? Drag me out alive?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown.

What doesn't destroy you, leaves you broken instead.
Got a hole in my soul growing deeper and deeper.
And I can't take one more moment of this silence.
The loneliness is haunting me.
And the weight of the world's getting harder to hold up.

It comes in waves, I close my eyes.
Hold my breath and let it bury me.
I'm not okay, and it's not alright
Won't you drag the lake and bring me home again?

Who will fix me now? Dive in when I'm down?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown.
Who will make me fight? Drag me out alive?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown.

'Cause you know that I can't do this on my own.
(Woah oh oh oh)
'Cause you know that I can't do this on my own.
(Woah oh oh oh)
'Cause you know that I can't do this on my own.
(Woah oh oh oh)
('Cause you know that I can't do this on my own.)

Who will fix me now?
Who will fix me now?
Who will fix me now? Dive in when I'm down?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I honestly didn't notice how much this relates. XD

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Debating on making pancakes cuz I haven't in awhile

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

When you can't find a spatula and end up with a flat wooden thing to stir food and you're like fuck. How did my life end up like this? XD