Nightfall's Records Of Recollection Showing 801-850 of 2,012

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I TOLD HER MY ROOM HAS RATS AND SENT A PIC OF RATATA AND I THINK SHES DONE WITH ME. XD

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Her brother is on drugs again...

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

She told me she woke up crying... Had nightmare about her dogs. XD

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I feel... Stronger.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

So. Sister bought a scale today. I'm about 30 lbs under the lowest ideal weight for a guy of my height. Well damn.

[jay, rip]

Shiv {Take my hand, through the flames} wrote: "I TOLD HER MY ROOM HAS RATS AND SENT A PIC OF RATATA AND I THINK SHES DONE WITH ME. XD"

soemthing I would do but not to you valor hoe

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Mystic trash. XD

[jay, rip]

mystic rules Valor drools

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Meh

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I weigh 109. Little brother who is 4 years younger is 103. :/

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I'm gonna try and sleep I guess. It's still sunny out but it being past eight and myself being this lonely just isn't okay for my state of mind. Night guys. Even though I'm probably just gonna lay in bed

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Honestly didn't think being this lonely would be this hard.... Maybe that's another reason why I did what I did. To get through I guess. Cuz this sucks.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I wonder how lonely the moon must feel...

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

The weekends are always the Hardest.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I had a dream.... Fuck it was a really good dream but now those dreams are only nightmares because I'm never gonna feel you in my arms again. Fuck that dream.... I slept for about 2 hours.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I'm at the point where I like taking selfies by a few days later I hate them. I wear jackets to hide my arms but sometimes I don't. Just to feel the wind on their constant burning. I've just been really conflicted lately.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

3 am helping with self harm and other peoples relationships. Oh look. I'm a shitty sophomore again.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I'm so tired.... I just wanna get rid of this feeling.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

God I hate my weight...

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

When no one understands no matter how hard you try to eat more often you just keep losing weight and you just can't deal anymore.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Bleach and Oreos and late nights. This is were I left off. Guess it's not too late to figure everything out again. Going to all the seniors activities this year.... Like dances and picnics and stuff.... Got a job so mom doesn't have to pay for them. So yeah. My life. Senior year is gonna be a little bit different. There are like 5ish dances that I've wanted to go to for awhile? There's the homecoming, snowball, spring fling, and another one I think.... And prom. XD definitely going to prom.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

.-. I just have nothing to do and no one to talk to anymore.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

No one can stand talking to me for more than two minutes.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

But then again I can barely talk to 3 people in general.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I'm such a smart ads for putting my fairy deck in orange sleeves. Fml

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Oh god... I just messaged my old best friend... I just messaged E. Also debating on taking M out to hang. Since it seems like we both just got out of rough relationships and family is crap and we could use a break. On the other hand. Really like this song.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Walking on Cars
"Speeding Cars"

So if I stand in front of a speeding car
Would you tell me who you are, what you like?
What's on your mind, if I'd get it right?
How I love that no one knows
And these secrets all that we've got so far
The demons in the dark, lie again
Play pretends like it never ends
This way no one has to know

Even the half smile would have slowed down the time
If I could call you half mine
Maybe this is the safest way to go
We're singing
Heya heya heya heya
Heya, heya heya
This is the safest way to go nobody gets hurt
We're singing
Heya heya heya heya
Heya, heya heya
You go back to him and then I'll go back to her

So if I stand in front of a speeding car
Would you give your little heart?
Say the word?
Due to just me and you
This way everyone will know
Cause these secrets all that we've got so far
The demons in the dark, lie again
Play pretends like it never ends
This way no one has to know

Even the half smile would have slowed down the time
If I could call you half mine
Maybe this is the safest way to go
We're singing
Heya heya heya heya
Heya, heya heya
This is the safest way to go nobody gets hurt
We're singing
Heya heya heya heya
Heya, heya heya
You go back to him and then I'll go back to her

So if I stand in front of a speeding car
Would you tell me who you are, what you like?
What's on your mind, if I'd get it right?
How I love that no one knows
These secrets all that we've got so far
The demons in the dark, lie again
Play pretends like it never ends
How I love that no one knows

Advertise my secretI don't really need it
I know you can feel this
So advertise my secret
I don't really need it
I know you can feel this
So advertise my
Advertise my secret

We're singing
Heya heya heya heya
Heya, heya heya
This is the safest way to go nobody gets hurt
We're singing
Heya heya heya heya
Heya, heya heya
You go back to him and then I'll go back to her

If I stand in front of a speeding car
Don't know who you are
Don't know who you are
Heya heya heya heya
Heya, heya heya
You go back to him and then I'll go back to her

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

First things first. Apologize to E for disappearance. Second. See if she'd still like to be friends again. Third. Hang out with M and G. Fourth. Ask M if she'd like to hang sometime before I start work.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

At this point she wouldn't even care if I woke up tomorrow morning...

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Aside from Fern I don't think anyone would.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I honestly didn't think it would end. I thought, not matter what, it would be okay. Even if things didn't work out we'd be friends and still talk and I'd see her this summer and stuff or after high school or whatever. But now I'm in bed, alone, under a blanket feeling like so much shit and so fucking lonely that I just don't think I can keep going. This was he exact reason why I was how I was. And now I'm like this. Broken and forgotten.

[jay, rip]

Shiv {Take my hand, through the flames} wrote: "Aside from Fern I don't think anyone would."

yo I would

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Either wanna throw up or eat?

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Music. Cards. Clear mind. Zombies. Xards. Update. It'll be okay. Think. Think. Get less confused about life. Colt just spammed my FB. Kik. Not league. Just yugioh. Keep going.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Just made some chicken... Glass of ice water too. Cards scattered on the bed and I'm honestly really not trying to sleep tonight. Life is way too confusing and I need this time to think. Cuz if I sleep, then my mind is free to dream. When I dream, I wake up hurting.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I really don't wanna sleep. Just finding out more zombie techs that I can use to distract myself.

Zombies aren't my main deck anymore. No one really knows what that means except me, but they just don't feel right anymore. They're amazing and all. But just not me anymore. I can play them an totally wreck but it just doesn't feel right. So it's time to move on. The next deck, next stage in life. Yang zings, here I come.... Zombies... Until next time. If there is a next time. I'll miss you guys... A lot. But for now I think it's for the best. But then again I might come running back to you tomorrow because I just need that sense of security, even if it is a teeny bit false.


The world is asleep. Silence outside, just my cats breathing inside these walls. Guess it's just me and the moon. Stayed up with Fern till she wanted to sleep, and same for Monica. But I just... I hope you're alright. I hope I'm alright too. Today has kinda been a roller coaster of ups and downs. And about 4 downs. Lost 4 league matches lol. But I just... I'm so lost... No ones up with me and I just feel really lonely... Church tomorrow... Definitely going. I want to. I really do... If they'd still want me.


Fire kings. Beasts. Wind up. Water. Normal. Burn. Black wings. Zombies. Zombie rank 4 spam. Fairy. Yang zing. These are just a few of the decks I've run off the top of my head. Honesty don't know why I keep typing, I know no one is going to read this. Maybe it's just for myself, and seeing this in one place helps me organize things. Maybe an escape. Maybe the opposite.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Pendulum. Odd eyes. Red eyes. Blue eyes. Dragon. A few more I haven't mentioned. Lightsworns. And so many more...

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Needle in the bed gotta get you out of my head... Needle in the bed gonna wind up dead.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I can't sleep. And I feel my skin crawl while my arms are burning and I just wanna punch a wall and end it right now but I won't. Cuz I know I can get through this. But sometimes the lines just get a little blurred. Right and wrong, fun and serious. Death and life. White and red.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/...

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Haven't been this low in awhile... 107. Fuck my life. But I kinda like it cuz I'm a fucking psychopath.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Battle one has been lost. Battle two I'm losing.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

So much for 18 months.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I'm so tired...

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

At least I ate.

[love hurts]

Hey

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Heyos

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Dr. Mundoooooo. God I haven't played you in so long

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Slept for about two hours... Again.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Nightmares...