Nightfall's Records Of Recollection Showing 751-800 of 2,012

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I... Feel super lonely again. That's great.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

When you slowly realize that the depressing truth of everything that you've been just straight running from. Nothing is forever. Even the earth isn't. And things are impossible. And I'm gonna go and get therapy soon.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I'm just an overall awkward person.

[Zombieslayer⚡Alienhunter]

^ me in a nutshell.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Ayyyeeeee! Hello person! XD

[Zombieslayer⚡Alienhunter]

Hola :p

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

What's up?

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

"Sucker For Pain"


[Dan Reynolds & Sam Harris:]
"I torture you
Take my hand through the flames
I torture you
I'm a slave to your games
I'm just a sucker for pain
I wanna chain you up
I wanna tie you down
I'm just a sucker for pain"

[Ty Dolla $ign:]
"I'm a sucker for pain
I got the squad tatted on me from my neck to my ankles
Pressure from the man got us all in rebellion
We gon' go to war, yeah, without failure
Do it for the fam, dog, ten toes down, dog
Love and the loyalty that's what we stand for
Alienated by society, all this pressure give me anxiety
Walk slow through the fire
Like, who gon' try us?
Feeling the world go against us
So we put the world on our shoulders"

[Dan Reynolds & Sam Harris:]
"I torture you
Take my hand through the flames
I torture you
I'm a slave to your games
I'm just a sucker for pain
I wanna chain you up
I wanna tie you down
I'm just a sucker for pain"

[Logic:]
"I been at it with my homies
It don't matter, you don't know me
I been rollin' with my team, we the illest on the scene
I been riding 'round the city with my squad
I been riding 'round the city with my squad
We just posted, getting crazy, living like this is so amazing
Hold up take a step back, when we roll up, cause I know what
We been loyal, we been fam, we the ones you trust in
Won't hesitate to go straight to your head like a concussion
I know I been bustin', no discussion for my family
No hesitation, through my scope I see my enemy
Like what's up? Hold up, we finna re-load up
Yes I re-load up, I know what up, I know what up"

[Dan Reynolds & Sam Harris:]
"I torture you
Take my hand through the flames
I torture you
I'm a slave to your games
I'm just a sucker for pain
I wanna chain you up
I wanna tie you down
I'm just a sucker for pain"

[Lil Wayne:]
"I'm devoted to destruction
A full dosage of detrimental dysfunction
I'm dying slow but the devil tryna rush me
See I'm a fool for pain, I'm a dummy
Might cut my head off right after I slit my throat
Tongue kiss a shark, got jealous bitches up in the boat
Eating peanut butter and jelly fishes on toast
And if I get stung I get stoked, might choke
Like I chewed a chunk of charcoal
Naked in the North Pole
That's why my heart cold, full of sorrow, the lost soul
And only Lord knows when I'm coming to the crossroads
So I don't fear shit but tomorrow
And I'm a sucker for pain, it ain't nothing but pain
You just fuckin' complain, you ain't tough as you claim
Just stay up in your lane, just don't fuck with Lil Wayne
I'm a jump from a plane or stand in front of a train
Cause I'm a sucker for pain"

[Wiz Khalifa:]
"Used to doing bad, now we feel like we just now getting it
Ain't got no other way so we started and finished it
No pain, no gain
Never stand down, made our own way
Never going slow, we pick up the pace
This is what we wanted from a young age
No emotion, that's what business is
Lord have mercy on the witnesses"

[Dan Reynolds & Sam Harris:]
"I torture you
Take my hand through the flames
I torture you
I'm just a sucker for pain"

[Sam Harris:]
"More pain
Got me begging, begging, begging, begging, begging
For more pain
Got me begging, begging, begging, begging, begging
For more pain
Got me begging, begging, begging, begging, begging
For more pain
Got me begging..."

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Why am I sad? Today literally went perfect... The date and everything... And I've been really happy all day... And then come home to my bed feeling like... This.... I don't wanna feel empty. When I'm with Kendra I don't. I feel happy and stuff but without her I feel like how I used to? .-. I just can't even.... I just wanna be happy I guess. :/ probably don't deserve it and that sounds really selfish but still... I dunno...

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Walking around the mall catching Pokemon and fighting gyms and ignoring the fact that your life is turning to hell and you have another date tomorrow. XD

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

When you're really trying but damn that sounds fun af rn.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Not sure if I want Xanax or pluots. Hm. Tired as crap too

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I honestly just don't wanna be left behind. But I'm struggling to keep up.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Why tf am I so lonely.... Kinda really wanna cut...

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I legit hate who I am sometimes. But I just don't know if I can stop.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

we don't talk anymore.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I literally trying everything. Cards, peeped, cereal, league, tv. Nothing worked. But calling Greg for like two minutes brought me back down. I'm okay. I'll be okay.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Insane how close I was...

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Debating on running outside as an escape.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I just wanna run... Back to when school hadn't ended... Before prom and everything and before friends left and back when everything was okay... Back when I didn't have to debate every other hour if this would be the end of... Anything.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I'm up watching bleach. O.O for the first time in a few years... I'm watching anime. I feel good again....

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Yesterday I went to dinner with shyanne and her dad. It was super fun and the waiter was pretty cool. But no matter how good I feel the day before I just wake up feeling worse. When all of your insecurities are slowly killing you inside and you tell no one cuz you honestly can't cuz if they knew they'd be already gone.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

On the bright side, I like the song Payphone again.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Close your eyes. Take a breath. Calm down. Relax. Breathe out. And just walk out. It'll be okay. You're fine.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

The thought of sleeping alone makes me really sad and my arms burn because I've honestly never been enough for myself. But the thought of someone next to me who thought I was enough for them was just... Comforting. And I dunno.... Encouraging almost? Hopeful, maybe.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Bleach. Cold monster. And a bag of chips while trying to figure out where it all went wrong

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Honestly wondering if I was just used to make her feel better then thrown away. FML. I just wanna sleep. I have school tomorrow.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

WHY AM I SO DUMB

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I wanna tell you how I feel. And I wanna tell you what's on my mind right now. But I can't. Because you don't deserve a broken person.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Summer is just not my time of year lol

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Always only one call away.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I honestly would be totally okay with failing summer school if she came back. And I know that's kinda contradictory and everything and she's not and I'm really dumb for still thinking about this but I've tried forgetting and that didn't work and I don't really talk to Kendra anymore and she actually helped a lot and I'm alone and I just don't feel like I can do this anymore.... Every night and every morning it's another struggle of me not cutting myself and I just... I honestly feel like I'm gonna lose. But that won't stop me from trying.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I'm not supposed to have these anymore.... I just started feeling bad for no reason...

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Fuck this hurts...

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I haven't cried in a really long time...

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

It's okay to feel like shit. It's okay to feel worthless. It's okay to feel insignificant. It's okay to miss someone you can't have. It's okay to have a tightness in your chest or a burning sensation on your arms or legs and it's okay to not want to eat or sleep or just overall hurt yourself or worse. It's okay to feel like your world is crashing down and it's okay to feel like you can't do this. But the point is that you try. And no matter who you are, or what age you are. Whether you're my ex from third grade (if I had one) or a random three year old who's just had a bad day. If you're 56 and your wife just divorced you and you just wanna think or get advice or anything. I'll be here. It's okay to think you're a whore, but you aren't. It's okay to feel really dumb. But I'll do my best to convince you otherwise. Cuz I can't do much, I can't. I can't completely understand what you're feeling. And I'm sorry about that. But I can sure as hell try. And I'll try my very best.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Good night, journal... It's been a long and lonely day but it'll be okay. Now I think I should get some rest.

~~Yours Truly

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I've been awake for about an hour...

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

When you try listing everything you've eaten from the day before.
• Wendy's burger
• Wendy's fries

Aw fuck. >.<

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Gonna try and sleep again... Fell asleep in class yesterday....

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

So. S invited me to a party. At B's place. XD

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Oh where did I go wrong, I lost a friend... So where along in the bitterness and I swear I would have stayed up, with you all night, had I known, how to save a life...

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I mean... I had a few chips and Oreos... But I guess that doesn't really count....

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Dear my Someday,

Do break ups always hurt this much? Even though it's almost been a month? It didn't really hurt the first week but night after night now it feels like getting hit by a truck. Will that go away? Never really been through this before. Summer school ends Friday. Which is good. Today I walked about 5 miles to exhaust myself and get some gyms for team valor. I'm currently out of pokeballs.

Signed, Yours Truly

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Got wing stop now.... Trying...


I feel really lonely...

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Barely ate 4 and already debating if I'm done.... I hate being skinny.... But I don't wanna throw up...

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

I'm so tired...

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

This is... Weird. M and I are talking about break ups. She just got out of a pretty rough one too.

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

Legit longest conversation we've had in about two years. XD

[Shiv {Two Stones, Trying to Float on Water}]

When you give your ex relationship advice and it actually sounds good. XDD