Prologue and first two chapters of a novela/chicklit

[Anahi]

I need help finding plot holes or how to make it no too plot driven

[Anahi]

the premise about basically the main character Charlie's mom is in a coma after a plane crash a few months prior to her going off to uni. She lives with her father's new girlfriend and is studying philosophy so any philosophers would be appreciated and there is a lesbian couple with their relationship dynamic that creates a bit of tension. so yeah very much contemporary thinking LGBT romance

[Rachel]

I am game if you are willing to read a novella written in vignettes that might currently be incorrectly ordered. (I cut these from another book; and am trying to feel out a natural order--association vs. chronological), etc. The writing of each vignette is probably reasonably solid but flowing from one to another may be off.-(Happy to swap first couple pages as sample).
A young girl grapples with how to begin an adult life. In some ways, Michelle feels like her abusive and secretive childhood detached her from a "normal life". Two timelines exist: one during her turbulent childhood, the other in the period immediately following college.

[Anahi]

@Rachel Hi Rachel,

my email is afajardo829@gmail.com I have a zero draft where I write the story in vignettes as well and a few pages of the actual manuscript. I am done to critique a novela I watch them all the time if it's modern that'd be an amazing twist

[Anahi]

@Rachel Hi Rachel,

my email is afajardo829@gmail.com I have a zero draft where I write the story in vignettes as well and a few pages of the actual manuscript. I am done to critique a novela I watch them all the time if it's modern that'd be an amazing twist

[Rachel]

Sorry I missed this. Happy to swap. I'll share about 4-5,000 words (equivalent of prologue and 2 chapters?) with my email. Please feel free to share yours and any specific areas of feedback you would like. (If you are too busy now, just let me know.) Best_R