Seeking Query Advice

[Scott]

Hi Catherine,
A synopsis relates everything that happens in the story, including how it ends. This has the feel of a synopsis but leaves out a lot. Some agents specifically ask for a synopsis but usually the query contains a blurb, not a synopsis. The blurb is more like what you find on the book’s jacket. A sales pitch meant to draw in a reader (or an agent).

If you really want to write a synopsis, it needs more detail. If you actually meant a blurb, it needs to tell who the main character is, what they want, what’s stopping them from getting it, and what happens if they don’t get it. You need the reader to want to go on this journey with your MC.

The fact that she escaped her home town but didn’t escape is confusing. The conflict seems to be about her friend not getting a position but except for the friction, it doesn’t seem to be about the MC. I can’t tell if if the MC wants to salvage the old friendship or start a new one. Either way, the stakes are unclear. It doesn’t seem like a big deal, so why should I invest the time to read her story?

Hope that makes sense. Good luck with it.

[Julia]

Scott said everything I intended to say and most likely said it more concisely. if you are unclear what you are writing here, there are great YouTubes on all things writing and submitting to literary agents that are a great education.